View Full Version : You are too old to play gigs!.........

06-26-2013, 03:14 PM
(I have seen some of these 'problems' posted on this site:eeks
If the list is an old take on an old theme just skip it..you are probably too old, too!)..not that there is anything wrong with that:banana

1. It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.
2. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf or Dolly Parton with no bosom.
3. All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m.
4. All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub.
5. You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your set-list.
6. Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie.
7. You lost the directions to the gig.
8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings.
9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.
10. You feel like heck before the gig even starts.
11. The waitress is your daughter!
12. You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.
13. Most of your crowd just sways in their seats.
14. You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case.
15. You refuse to play without earplugs.
16. You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30.
17. You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.
18. Your gig stool has a back.
19. You're related to at least one member in the band.
20. You don't let anyone sit in.
21. You need a nap before the gig.
22. After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.
23. During the breaks, you now go to the van to lie down.
24. You prefer a music stand with a light.
25. You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.
26. You hope the host's speech lasts forever
27. You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or "cool" factor.
28. Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the audience, 'cause they're younger than your daughter.
29. You can remember seven different club names for the same location.
30. You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it!
31. Your date couldn't make it because she couldn't find a babysitter for the grandkids.
32. The set list has to be in 20 point type..
33. Your drug of choice is now coffee…
34. It seems impossible to find stage shoes with decent arch support.

06-26-2013, 03:20 PM
Read your own signature.

Stupid list.


Blue Strat
06-26-2013, 03:23 PM
Funny list!

06-26-2013, 03:27 PM
Read your own signature.

Stupid list.


Geeeeezuz take it easy..........it's a joke

06-26-2013, 03:29 PM
Geeeeezuz take it easy..........it's a joke

If you do not see yourself identifying with something from that list. You will. IF you live long enough:eek:

Scott Peterson
06-26-2013, 03:42 PM
It is funny because it is true! Yikes! (*naps before gigs). :o

06-26-2013, 03:44 PM
It is funny because it is true! Yikes! (*naps before gigs). :o
Yep -needs glasses to see amp settings- :rockin

Hmm, same thing in SHL http://www.thegearpage.net/board/showthread.php?t=1283771

06-26-2013, 03:48 PM
Remember, I am Irreverent! ;)


Dr. Tweedbucket
06-26-2013, 03:50 PM
8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings.
9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.


06-26-2013, 05:25 PM
you go to the van during a break
and someone has to wake u up for the next set

starting at 8:30? try we only play festivals, gotta be home by 8:30,
the festival must supply the backline, it is tuff enuf for me to take my axe let alone an amp and stuff too

06-26-2013, 05:31 PM
hahaha, cool list.

i remember the last time i slid down to my knees in front of the stage for a solo..ALMOST didn't make it back up. shades of Spinal Tap.

06-26-2013, 05:39 PM
24 point type here. Ayep.

06-26-2013, 05:45 PM
Lol, lotsa truth in there indeed!

06-26-2013, 05:46 PM
Oh sh*t, guilty on a few counts.

I didn't let my daughter take the waitress job they offered her though.

06-26-2013, 06:14 PM
35. Finding that most of my set consists of songs I wrote about Matlock.

06-26-2013, 06:42 PM
I'm in with at least a third, maybe a half, of those :)

06-26-2013, 06:59 PM
I see myself in some of those, for sure.

06-26-2013, 07:05 PM
Coffee is my drug of choice until I get home from the gig jacked up on caffeine, then my drug is Ambiem.

Rex Anderson
06-26-2013, 07:06 PM
Went to see an old friend gig last Sunday night. We're both close to 60. His trio (guitar, bass, drums) started at 7pm. Bunch of geezers at the bar and he asks, "how many of you like these Sunday night gigs that start at 7pm?"

All hands raise, and we all laugh.

The guy is Keith Harden who now lives in Nashville and is a smoking guitar player and great singer. Kills it on Jeff Beck, Hendrix, Stevie Ray, Clapton/Cream etc. I mean serious talent. Puts a lot of pros to shame, but doesn't give a hoot about "stardom".

I loved the list.