Ever feel like just Quitting Guitar? I need help.

[kimos55]

Hay fellow GP members. I need some boosting up here. My goal for the past 5 years was be in a band that was worthy ( a kick ass band ). My plan was, I was going to start off doing covers and then add originals. Members have changed for many reasons, drugs,work,wifes, girlfriends. Now I am in IMO a below average band doing basic covers. They are a good guys but everyone seems to be so busy with other things. No one puts there personal time in to practicing. It is obvious when we do get together, it sucks for me. Trying to get everyone at a rehearsals is like imposable. It is always something. We have a gig this Sat and we are going to do the same old songs. We have one rehearsal this week for 2 hours if I am lucky. I just feel like what the Hell maybe I should just hang up the band thing. I practice all the time and study music and I have been doing this for over 30 years. The past 5 years I have been Living in Los Angles. You wold think in LA it would have been a slam dunk. I am LOST and don't know what to do. I want a KICK ASS KILLER BAND! Please post here or send me an e mail. If you in LA who knows maybe your looking for the same. It would be great to get some feedback here before I go crazy.

[greggorypeccary]

Hang in there man! I haven't played in a band (by choice) for about 15 years but wanted to get back into it about two years ago. After three failed attempts (at least they fell apart before we started gigging) I seem to have finally hooked up with some folks who are good people and good players, as well as being dedicated to it. It's not my first choice of material (never thought I'd be in a country band!) but I'm having fun so far and not having to play the "classic rock standards".
Our first gig is Friday night! :banana

[Seegs]

I don't know maybe this is a bit blunt and hard but IME with bands...water seeks its own level...not until you break the cycle do things start to change...

Chow,
Seegs

[Dog Boy]

I've quit before and it felt great!

Then I started again but on my own terms..very liberating.

I wish you luck.

[kimos55]

I think what has to happen is I have to Quit and start off fresh.

[thintele]

i would start putting out feelers , checking adds, see if there are other more like-minded individuals out there you could hook up with. In the mean time continue to study, practice and play out with these guys when you can. Keep your chops up and concentrate on improving your own playing. Sometimes that has a way of inspiring and making other players play better. If not, its been my experience that gigs are a good place to network with other players.

[nnick]

i would start putting out feelers , checking adds, see if there are other more like-minded individuals out there you could hook up with. In the mean time continue to study, practice and play out with these guys when you can. Keep your chops up and concentrate on improving your own playing. Sometimes that has a way of inspiring and making other players play better. If not, its been my experience that gigs are a good place to network with other players.

I agree

[jammybastard]

Since your the guy with the vision I'd ditch the band and woodshed for a few months to write your own tunes.
Make sure you write stuff that shows what kind of music you want your "kick ass" band to play.
Once you get 5 or 6 demo's done start looking for new band members by posting them online, going to shows, meeting people, etc...
and don't settle until you get exactly what you want.

Worked for me. I spent 5 years btwn bands writing and playing solo shows to get better at my craft.
I'm still not a great player, but I'm good enough to play what I need to and get across to other people what I'm thinking.
Then I let them take it where they want to go.

[Luke]

Best success I had finding quality people was placing an ad on the TV Guide channel of my local cable system. Now this was 15 years back when it was just a static picture as opposed to the video they have now.

[Swain]

Maybe a different approach would yield the desired results?

Maybe work up an entire set list. Learn the sonds completely. Cold. Also, work on an actual "Production". Stage moves, timing/pacing, lighting, etc. Have it all down pat. Note-for note, Move-for-move.
If you're not completely sure what this Production will look like, I'd suggest researching what it takes. Go to the shows of the acts you admire. Take a notebook, and write very detailed notes. See each show multiple times. And steal (Borrow? LOL) everything useful that you can.

Then hold auditions. Tell the players exactly what you expect. If the players auditioning have any defecits in their act, don't hire them. Don't hire friends, either. Also, maybe hire (yes, pay) someone who has experience with auditioning acts to guide the auditions. And, take their guidance. Or, hire a Talent Agent to help you find players. Give the ones you choose one month to rehearse and practice. A Professional should know what it takes to get it done, in a timely manner. Heck, maybe the Promoter/Agent/Whatever will help "coach" and guide your rehearsals, too.

Now, you will need to make sure you have a solid, regular line up of good-paying gigs lined up. I'd say, at least a month's worth. The same amount of time that you have the players put into polishing the show. And make sure it's a "Show". This will be another incentive for the players to really dedicate themselves to the job. And Job is the operative word, I think.
I have been in bands that were for fun, with enough income to pay expenses. Those are fun. But sometimes, the Bandleaders have wanted everyone to really dedicate themselves to the Band. However, the Bandleader didn't do the legwork to assure everyone involved would be guaranteed a certain income. They just got frustrated, when the part-timers didn't put in as much as they felt that they, themselves did.

Once they have successfully jumped through these hoops, you will have a band that knows what it takes, as well as what to expect from you. And the next "Production" will be that much easier to assemble. Kind of a "Boot Camp" for everyone involved.

Another option? Join an already established act. Audition, and get yourself up to snuff, if you don't make the cut the first time.

Either way, it's a lot of work. But, as you've said, 30 years of work so far. So, maybe it's not too much?

I find the old saying from Thomas Edison is one of my mantras:

"Opportunity is missed by most people. Because it's often dressed in overalls, and looks like work."

Good luck with whatever you choose to do. I hope my post helps, in some way.

[thewhit]

Look for secondary playing situations until one reveals itself to be your main focus. If the current guys don't practice and aren't serious and frustrate you, look for other players and you may end up in two bands or surrounded by enough players that eventually you can cherry pick and start your own band.
The reason you're feeling so frustrated is that all your musical eggs are in one basket. You may find that the guys you're with may fall in line once you show how serious your commitment is. If they stay uncommitted......see ya!

[Guitar Dave T]

I don't know maybe this is a bit blunt and hard but IME with bands...water seeks its own level...not until you break the cycle do things start to change...

Chow,
Seegs

:agree

Time to break the cycle.

And I suspect THIS will be a bit blunt, too. If you don't care for the current situation, why not either replace the underperformers or create a new situation with your own band?

Sorry, but I don't have a lot of sympathy if you don't make the changes yourself. I've played all my life, and even in 'mediocre' bands, I've taken steps to insure the players were all pros.

But now I have serious pain issues with my hands and arms and still continue to push myself and those I play with.

So, to be blunt, quitcherbitchin', get offa yerass and do something!

[kimos55]

First let me say I have thought about starting a new band and have been actively looking For a new Band. Starting from scratch is another option I am entertaining too.
I don't think I am bitching here. I just saw myself a lot further ahead by now given my commitment.
One great singer we had was hooked on pain meds, One singer got a great job, One singer was thought he was gods gift to women and had a head as big as New York.

The drummer plays in several bands but puts no effort into any thing except to show up for a gig and wing it, originally I joined his band and some other cats a long time ago.
Yea we have gigs so it is not all that bad. I just saw my self almost famous by now not a starving musician that plays 70's 80's and 90's covers in an average band.

[clothwiring]

I'll be more kind than Dave. lol Just think back to a time where you had a blast playing and do that for awhile. I recently went and got me a shred guitar so I could just have fun playing the old shred stuff I used to do...IT WAS LIBERATING AND INVIGORATING.

Music has to be fun, so just make it fun again. I've played more in the last few weeks and actually practiced more than I have in a long time.

Fun fun.

[Jon Silberman]

Never confuse quitting a band with quitting an instrument.

[shark_bite]

Never confuse quitting a band with quitting an instrument.

+3trillion

[daddyo]

Never confuse quitting a band with quitting an instrument.
big fat + 1.

[kimos55]

I am not going to quit guitar, I did want to put all my eggs in one basket.
A few years ago I was doing the freelance lead guitar thing and I think I was in 5 bands at one time. I just got burnt out and wanted to have one killer project.
I keep thinking that the Beetles, they put the time in and look what happened. I just need to find some great new people to start a band with.

Look at Los lonely:JAM boys, Sheryl Crow, Green Day, Jack White, and many others they all got one hit... They made it! I still want the dream... And as I get older I feel like it is slipping away!

[Luke]

Nikki Sixx said he looked for the 3 biggest losers he could find, guys who had nothing else worth while in their lives to distract them. Seemed to work. :D


I am not going to quit guitar, I did want to put all my eggs in one basket.
A few years ago I was doing the freelance lead guitar thing and I think I was in 5 bands at one time. I just got burnt out and wanted to have one killer project.
I keep thinking that the Beetles, they put the time in and look what happened. I just need to find some great new people to start a band with.

Look at Los lonely:JAM boys, Sheryl Crow, Green Day, Jack White, and many others they all got one hit... They made it! I still want the dream... And as I get older I feel like it is slipping away!

[HurricaneJesus]

Yeah, the band thing is frustrating sometimes. I feel qualified to teach 2nd grade after my band experiences and I'm only 27.
But really there's no substitute for playing music with other people.

[telecopter]

Many times at 2 a.m. loading up my gear after a crappy gig.

[jammybastard]

Look at Los lonely:JAM boys, Sheryl Crow, Green Day, Jack

While they did put in a lot of hard work, they also toured, networked their asses off, and had excellent management before they made it "big".
You can have all the talent in the world, but if you don't have the biz end down you won't get far.

Look at The Beatles...they were just another group of Teddy boys with guitars until Brian Epstein discovered them, cleaned them up, and shopped their demo around London. They got turned down by everyone until they landed with EMI on a second try and even that was only a "demo" deal.

I know the White Stripes/Jack White career path pretty well. They were just another struggling indie band with 3 records out stuck playing small clubs in the US.
What broke them was going to England in the summer of 2001. Famed DJ John Peel loved them, and being a respected tastemaker he turned a lot people onto them.
He gave them the buzz they needed, so by the time they played their debut at the famed 100 Club their were lines out the door and down the block. They hit at the right time and the English press and public "got" them immediately. (http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2001/aug/08/marketingandpr.broadcasting)
That gave them serious cred in the USA, and got them signed to Virgin.


So much of "making it" is luck.
You have to have music that people get, have your shit together, have some contacts, have some representations, and then *maybe* you'll get someone to pay attention.

[prsnstrat]

I do feel like quitting my band occasionally but never considered quitting playing. Hang in there, you'll always get the Jones back in some capacity so you may as well keep your chops up. :)

[90wreck]

I am not really sure what to say on this topic.
I wish you well.
However, I may have shot myself in the foot locally.
I really don't want to be a "member" of any local bands...Just fill-in.
You have to know the "scene" around Mayberry. You have to give your blood, swear in, and take the oath or they consider you a snob.
I would like to work with some more local gigs, but they want to practice twice a week and be a member of the band for 80- a night.
I'll stick with I have been doing and hope that it picks up again in the spring(it will) and take some road calls and showcases in the mean time.
But, it is depressing that these weekend bands won't consider me(they have before) unless I am willing to "commit" to the act. (they also don't like the idea of a "utility player" showing up cold by any means and getting paid...To be honest, the money is not there anyway at 350-400 a night))
They always ask...."Are you joining the band or just using us for the money/fun/nothing else better to do...blah" Funny, I have turned down PA gigs/fill-ins if the Buckeyes are playing.:huh...yup.
I like playing on all levels of all type of gigs...Just NO 10-2's and no yes I AM IN THE band!!!!!!!!
BOT.
Stick it out.
I like the metaphor about the water seeking it's own level.(close to that)
I need to remember that one.
I wish you well, stick it out.

[devinb]

My opinion is that a big part of your problems is that you're playing covers, with what sounds like ambitions that only line up with when you play original music.

If you don't write music, you're in a bad spot, because ultimately, you need to put all your eggs in the basket of someone who does write, and writes very very well, or, you need to learn to write, very very well.

Getting a band together before you become, or find, that person is probably a little fruitless.

[shredtrash]

Start from scratch. When you have nothing, you can do anything.

[kimos55]

I am going to keep with this band and just do what comes along with them.
I write and have a lot of great songs and when I do share my ideas with people they are blown away.

As for water seeking it's own level, that is a great way of putting it. Our band is as good as it's weakest link. We they all are friends so I will part when the time it right and I know that now.

My chops are up and I personally have some great contacts around the US. I have this gig this weekend and I know it is going to be this JAM with long solos and rough sloppy endings. I just thought I would be doing so much more by now in my life.

[Guitar Dave T]

I am not really sure what to say on this topic.
I wish you well.
However, I may have shot myself in the foot locally.
I really don't want to be a "member" of any local bands...Just fill-in.
You have to know the "scene" around Mayberry. You have to give your blood, swear in, and take the oath or they consider you a snob.
I would like to work with some more local gigs, but they want to practice twice a week and be a member of the band for 80- a night.
I'll stick with I have been doing and hope that it picks up again in the spring(it will) and take some road calls and showcases in the mean time.
But, it is depressing that these weekend bands won't consider me(they have before) unless I am willing to "commit" to the act. (they also don't like the idea of a "utility player" showing up cold by any means and getting paid...To be honest, the money is not there anyway at 350-400 a night))
They always ask...."Are you joining the band or just using us for the money/fun/nothing else better to do...blah" Funny, I have turned down PA gigs/fill-ins if the Buckeyes are playing.:huh...yup.
I like playing on all levels of all type of gigs...Just NO 10-2's and no yes I AM IN THE band!!!!!!!!
BOT.
Stick it out.
I like the metaphor about the water seeking it's own level.(close to that)
I need to remember that one.
I wish you well, stick it out.

I can see it from both perspectives. While I do a lot of show-up-cold pickups, subs and just plain mercenary work ($100/night minimum, please, no matter what you're paying the rest of the band), I've also got a rehearsed band where a lot of the music requires knowledge of some advanced changes and instrumental harmony parts. For that band, we use the same guys, and actually rehearse once or twice a month. If we have to, we'll use a sub, but the sub players are expected to put in whatever time they need to in advance with recordings and charts so when they show up, they come across like they've been playing with us forever. Merely winging it, no matter how good your chops, is a sure way to not get a call back.

[mcuguitar]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Lead singers ALL have issues...especially if they don't have proficiency at a musical instrument. So don't worry dude, they're all like that. And L.A. has got to be THE toughest market to make it in. You're in a TOUGH market, you do know that, right? I know, I've lived there for a 3 year spell. I have been right where you are right now, and I didn't give up. Being a music pro is a tough gig all the way around...but if you truly live to play you have no other choice. So turn your mind around and keep playing regardless of any band...the only person you can control is yourself.

[Brian D]

Keep looking for what you want until you find it.

[Guitar Slinger6]

Never quit, I took a 10 year plus layoff. I just started playing again a little over a year ago. I was (before I quit) fairly good. I took a different path and now I really regret it.

[wcmiller]

Yea we have gigs so it is not all that bad. I just saw my self almost famous by now not a starving musician that plays 70's 80's and 90's covers in an average band.

I keep thinking that the Beetles, they put the time in and look what happened. I just need to find some great new people to start a band with.

I don't want my point to sound like I'm dumping on your dream and in fact I really respect that you are and have been giving it everything you've got however you've alluded to wanting to be somewhat famous and also use the Beatles as a model of success.

This strikes me as potentially dangerous from a psychological standpoint. The music and entertainment business in many ways defy the elements that would typically allow for success in other types of industry. For example if you are one of the top surgeons or top anything for that matter there is a good chance that your accomplishments will be recognized and respected regardless of how you look, regardless of your age, regardless of your ethnicity ect.

Consider an artist like Robben Ford who is highly respected here as well as amongst musicians around the world. If talent and commitment alone were the essential criteria for mass success and recognition then Robben Ford would be a huge commercial success and the likes of Britney Spears, Madonna, Spice Girls would be struggling to etch out a career.

How many overweight and perhaps not so attractive (as far as what our society typically defines as being attractive) female vocalists that can sing with unbelievable emotion, technique, tone, phrasing and mass talent in general will never have a chance of attaining the kind of commercial success that so many of todays top "stars" that have a certain look have acheived? It's kind of sickening that our society has evolved or devolved in the way that we put such high value on nothing more than how someone looks.

My whole point here is that perhaps you should reexamine some of what you are working towards. Perhaps taking fame out of the equation as what defines success and continuing with working at being an excellent artist and prolific songwriter could help to keep you inspired and less constrained by the pressure of needing to acheive fame and fortune. If you continue playing and writing great songs it is possible that you could make a good living independent of being a "rock star". It's also sad to say but there is no doubt that "ageism" exists. I could be totally wrong about all of this but I would guess that especially in these times that a record label would pursue a young and "pretty" individual with minimal talent over an older highly skilled instrumentally based song writing artist just about every time. A hot young girl that can dance can be provided with songwriting teams, producers, and enhanced in the studio to the point where actual musical talent is almost unnecessary. How does one compete with that?

Don't give up! Songwriting as you know is the key to making some good dough. Do you need your current bandmates to write and record great songs? Perhaps you can find top notch musicians that would be willing to perform on your demos for minimal costs. Changing the your emphasis to songwriting and just being a artist while making your playing situation a close second in terms of priority might help to reinvigorate your creativity. I wish you the very best of luck!

This is officially the longest post I've ever put forward, my War And Peace of posts if you will, yikes. :huh

[Sid]

dunno why you would ever quit guitar cos of others;)

Its like when you hate your job...start searching for a new one....and just continue with this one until you find a new one....takes off the pressure from the current one and u look forward to the new one

cheers
Sid

[TieDyedDevil]

Study. Woodshed. Write. Become versatile. Learn things you don't think you'll ever use, then make them yours. Learn to read. Record demos.

The more you know, the more you understand, the more you can *communicate* with and about music, the better equipped you'll be to attract musicians who won't waste your time.

Fame and fortune finds you, not vice versa. All you can do in the meantime is prepare yourself.

[GDking]

Do the music world a favor, quit the guitar and play bass with much better musicians.



Hay fellow GP members. I need some boosting up here. My goal for the past 5 years was be in a band that was worthy ( a kick ass band ). My plan was, I was going to start off doing covers and then add originals. Members have changed for many reasons, drugs,work,wifes, girlfriends. Now I am in IMO a below average band doing basic covers. They are a good guys but everyone seems to be so busy with other things. No one puts there personal time in to practicing. It is obvious when we do get together, it sucks for me. Trying to get everyone at a rehearsals is like imposable. It is always something. We have a gig this Sat and we are going to do the same old songs. We have one rehearsal this week for 2 hours if I am lucky. I just feel like what the Hell maybe I should just hang up the band thing. I practice all the time and study music and I have been doing this for over 30 years. The past 5 years I have been Living in Los Angles. You wold think in LA it would have been a slam dunk. I am LOST and don't know what to do. I want a KICK ASS KILLER BAND! Please post here or send me an e mail. If you in LA who knows maybe your looking for the same. It would be great to get some feedback here before I go crazy.

[shane88]

i'm not in a band atm cos i'm specific about what i want to do
there's no point putting time + effort into somethin that doesn't work
i continue to write + record stuff that may or may not surface 1 day
certainly i have no interest in being in a mediocre bar band

[jesserides2005]

:huh

[Deacon]

I can't say that I ever feel like giving up playing guitar completely. I've been playing for about 41 years.

However, I often think about quitting playing gigs. I'm the band leader for our band, and sometimes I feel like it's a lot of work what with doing all the booking, negotiation, media kits, promotion, AND learning songs and singing and playing guitar.

I haven't taken the retirement plunge yet, though.

Sometime I think what I'm really feeling is a desire to go in a different direction from my current blues/rock band. Maybe learn to play bluesy/jazzy guitar and put together a jazz combo? I dunno.

I hope your fortunes with band-building improves soon. Sometimes you just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other.

[billm408]

i have no interest in being in a mediocre bar band

You seen my band?? Next time at least say "hello".
:dude

[FeloniousBishop]

Never quit, I took a 10 year plus layoff. I just started playing again a little over a year ago. I was (before I quit) fairly good. I took a different path and now I really regret it.

What was it like picking up a guitar again after that long.

[Iceman8.6]

I had to listen to AC/DC's "Its a Long Way to the Top" while reading thru this thread.

[RustyAxe]

I've never been tempted to quit playing and singing. I started playing and singing more than 40 years ago. I stopped looking for a band about 35 years ago, for the reasons you describe. BUT ... I'm in a band now for the past 6 or 7 weeks (acoustic "roots" and "Americana" stuff) and it's the best musical experience I've had in my life. We're all dedicated, competent musicians, all have played as solos, duos and trios. We all know what it takes to put a good song together ... it's not just the notes and chords. We do three and four part vocal arrangements, and all of us are multi-instrumentalists. We spend a good deal of time between practices arranging, refining, etc. Better yet, we genuinely enjoy each others company, and practice 5-6 hours a week (got a four hour debut gig coming up in two weeks, and that requires a big set list!). In listening to our recorded practice sessions the part we enjoy the most is the banter and laughter we share throughout the session.

I guess what I mean to say is don't despair. If what you're doing now isn't working for you, then by all means, find something else that does. There are others out there, like you, waiting to make the right connections.

(I wonder ... is the difference due to maturity? I suppose that's a question for another thread?)

[RustyAxe]

This is officially the longest post I've ever put forward, my War And Peace of posts if you will, yikes. :huh:) That may be, but you said some good stuff! I know, personally, many great musicians and songwriters that make the "stars" look like chumps ... and haven't "made it" in the entertainment business. I'm actively beginning a project to cover some of their best stuff ... as they get older I dread the thought of their music being lost ... forever.

[flyingvees]

When I decided to move to the boonies I knew that I would make sacrifices most being of the music persuasion...I will work out with a band for 6 months and usually take 6 months off...I still have plenty of studio work and one off calls but I cant take playing with subpar weekend warriors...Now had I stayed in the big city I would be playing every night with great players but I have learned much more about what motivates me to play and what makes me happy when I play...

[silvertone]

Just a thought...If your desire is to play with better musicians, why not hire some? It's an investment, but it's probably the best way to attract pro/killer players. It's even possible that once folks like this hear your stuff and get to play with you, they might be willing to get involved in a more collaborative way. If you do shell out some dough for a band for a gig, go the extra step and try to get a live recording of it. A little more mileage out of your investment!

[Suproman77]

I think about quiting all the time. Sometimes I just want to sell off all my gear and just let it all go for awhile. Then, I usually realize that I'm just a little burned out and need to take a few weeks break or whatever.

If you have the room in your place, you could try putting all your gear away in storage and cover it up with blankets. Don't even look at it...don't even think about looking at it. Just forget about it and wait until the urge to play comes back so strong that you have no choice, but to pull some of it out again.

That's my advice and I think it will help give you a fresh start and a new outlook. You may even remember that this is supposed to be fun and not just a road to success.