I Feel Kind of Guilty About This

[chrisr777]

But I just found out that the bas***d that was molesting my daughter years ago is in the hospital with cancer. I have never thought of myself as a vindictive person, but my first thought was that I hope it takes a long time and hurts a lot. My second was to find a way to let him know that I am enjoying every second of it. I have never felt this way about another person before, but I find I can't help myself. I hadn't really thought about the guy much until a few months ago when we had the threads about helping your worst enemy. Now this happens.


I do feel kind of guilty about it though.

[Slow Reflexes]

...I do feel kind of guilty about it though.Well... it's the thought that counts ;)

Really, as long as you have the decency to know better and aren't really gonna call the guy and laugh at him, you should be okay Karmically. Feeling guilty is the Protestant version of confession, right? Purely hypothetically speaking and not endorsing or proselytising in support of any form of the R word, or the lack thereof.

Maybe the bastage will have some introspection of his own on his long and painful journey.

[Suproman77]

I believe I'm the one who started that thread, so I feel that I should chime in here.

Revenge tastes so sweet, doesn't it? Feels great...but just remember this...the one who holds onto the desire to seek revenge is the one who loses. To free yourself of all this, you have to forgive...you're not doing it for him, but for yourself...it doesn't excuse his actions, but it proves that you're the better person because you have risen above it and will no longer allow yourself to be held hostage by those feelings or brought down to his level.

All the best, my friend.

[GearOnTheBrain]

He's getting his comeuppance.

[keefsdad]

I can't say I blame you at all.

[atquinn]

Guilty? If you posted his address on the internet and encouraged people to send him taunting hate-mail about his medical condition, then that's something to feel guilty about (maybe). As-is, I don't see anything to feel guilty about.

-Austin

[Wheels]

I don't know what I would do if my daughter was molested. I hope you and your daughter can get past the pain.

It sounds like his kharma has caught up with him.

Best of luck, Chris.

Wheels

[MGuts]

I'd feel the same way you do.

I think the fact that you feel guilty about it should let you know that you aren't doing anything wrong. I'd say it's instinctual to have these feelings about someone who did something to your daughter, but it's that guilt that makes sure you don't act on any of those feelings.

[bug0711]

Let it roll ... forget about his pain, and let him deal with it and whatever else he has coming his way. He should feel blessed that you didn't end his life in the first place ... and so should you.

[Midnight Lady]

Don't feel guilty about feelings or thoughts. We'd all be drowning in guilt if this were the case. You can't control either of them.

It's only your actions that you're responsible for.

[XKnight]

I can completely relate. I was very good friends with a coworker whose ex husband molested his 9 year old daughter and was charged criminally with the offense. Before the case went to court, the guy died in his sleep from an brain aneurysm. When I heard the news of his death it was a very happy day for me.

[nsureit]

Don't forgive him...forget him. The worst thing that can happen to a person when they die is there being no one to remember him...a cruel, lonely death.

[HeeHaw]

Here's what you should have done to him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgD--h93364

[Southbound]

Honestly, there's two [men] in this world that will wish they were never born, if I ever come across their filthy paths.

[rog951]

I think you're 100% entitled to have those thoughts, considering. Having a baby daughter myself, I can't imagine...well, I just don't want to think about it. I'm sure time will pass and these types of thoughts will subside. Maybe someday you'll even be able to just let it go, for your own betterment. Being angry and bitter isn't going to change anything but, though I'm certain it'd ultimately benefit you to put it all behind you, I honestly woudn't know how to go about it either. Good luck!!!

[jamess]

Mguts sums it up pretty well, IMO, except that I know I would personaly feel far less guilt than perhaps you or Mguts.

Those who harm, molest, or victimize children are bottom rung scum of the earth and can rot in hell for all I'm concerned. And if they suffer, all the better.

Harsh? Perhaps, but they made their own bed and have changed a child's life forever, and all those in the child's life. Pure scum.

I'm sorry that you feel guilty for your thoughts, but they are natural. Worse than your guilt is that you had to be reminded again of the situation. Like I said, that bastard changed the childs life forever, and yours.

[HeeHaw]

Honestly, there's two [men] in this world that will wish they were never born, if I ever come across their filthy paths.


I know of one and he will get his in this life or the next.:AOK

[Frankee]

You're a better man than me.

[dk123123dk]

I wish the best to you and your daughter.

Not that it makes it ok, but the guy was probably molested himself...


dk

[hank57]

Don't let him rent space in your brain. Find a place to throw away the bad memories like writing it down and then burning the page you've written. When the smoke clears say a prayer for your family and move on.

[Rad Skronker]

But I just found out that the bas***d that was molesting my daughter years ago is in the hospital with cancer. I have never thought of myself as a vindictive person, but my first thought was that I hope it takes a long time and hurts a lot. My second was to find a way to let him know that I am enjoying every second of it. I have never felt this way about another person before, but I find I can't help myself. I hadn't really thought about the guy much until a few months ago when we had the threads about helping your worst enemy. Now this happens.


I do feel kind of guilty about it though.


The molester has inflicted irreversible damage on the victim that will never go away and has changed that child's life forever.

I could not and would not refrain from adding to this guys pain.
I would be standing at his hospital room doorway telling what a "sub-human piece of shit" he is.

By the time I got done with the f**ker he would be praying for a fast death and I would feel no remorse what-so-ever.

[swa]

You're a better man than me.

+1
I wish you and your family well

[RichieRich]

cancer in child molesters rules.

[fizbin]

I think your feelings are natural and any amount of guilt you are feeling just shows you have a conscience which this monster probably never had. I think you should just forget about the bastard and move on, but I know that's a little too easy for me to say.

Best to you,
Jay

[8Painting]

I have no mercy for molesters. Period.

Let them rot.

That being said, take the high road, ignore it if you can, its not going to keep doing you any good to be reminded of him as a person regardless, even if he is possibly suffering.

[Frankee]

Your feelings are based on millions of years of hard-wired evolution. They're telling you to "defend your cubs" at all costs, and to eliminate the predators of your "tribe/clan/women/young" etc. Even though we live in a modern society that expects not to resort to the baser instincts in us does not make you a bad guy for feeling what you do. It is simply a survival/preservation instinct and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. If you subscribe to the theory that you someday have to answer for for what you're feeling to some authority outside of the physical realm...........I guess we can't get into that.......



IMO, you're not feeling any different than any normal person would feel. This is why molesters are so universally despised. Even hardened criminals in prison cannot suffer scumbags that touch little kids......

[Dumo]

Just send the guy a dozen black roses with a "Get well soon. Just kidding" card. :AOK Joking. Doesn't sound like his life has been all that swell either. He was probably molested/abused too and now he's terminally ill. It's lose, lose if you don't break the cycle of disfunction. You have to rise above it. I have a daughter too. I'd be equally confused by your situation I'm sure.

[Glowing Tubes]

The b@stard is moving on with his life, you must do the same.

I dont wish cancer on anybody.
Hope he's paid for what he's done even before this hit. He's scum.. not worth the trouble you could possibly get in to for engaging him. The sooner he's off the planet the better for all people. IMO.

Good luck to you and your daughter, hope you've been able to piece your lives back together and move forward. My heart goes out to you.

RC

[phishmarisol]

He's getting his comeuppance.

Are you serious? You think that cancer is payback for his past actions? Not only is that completely ludicrous but highly insulting to the millions of people that have been struck with cancer that were/are decent people.

And I'm not just singling you out as there are a lot of posts in this thread that make me sick.

Child molesters are the lowest form of life as far as I'm concerned but to insinuate that cancer is justified revenge on people because of their past transgressions is revolting.

To the OP: You shouldn't feel guilty about having negative feelings toward this person but I don't think it's ever healthy to engage in schadenfreude.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

[macheesmo3]

Are you serious? You think that cancer is payback for his past actions? Not only is that completely ludicrous but highly insulting to the millions of people that have been struck with cancer that were/are decent people.

And I'm not just singling you out as there are a lot of posts in this thread that make me sick.

Child molesters are the lowest form of life as far as I'm concerned but to insinuate that cancer is justified revenge on people because of their past transgressions is revolting.

To the OP: You shouldn't feel guilty about having negative feelings toward this person but I don't think it's ever healthy to engage in schadenfreude.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

Not if you wear gloves my friend , not if you wear gloves...

[twinrider1]

You are definitely entitled to have those feeling. Feeling guilty about them just shows you're a good human being. Being in your situation makes certain questions very real; questions that for most people are just hypothetical (thankfully).
Part of me says go to the hospital and finish him off. But the stronger part of me says don't waste your time. Don't let him ruin another minute of your time. Thinking about him just adds to what he's taken from you.
You're welcome to PM me if you ever want to talk.

[candh]

The older, wiser me agrees with the majority of the posters that say "let it go, don't let it hurt you any more that it already has". :AOK



The younger, "eye for an eye" me would be thinking of dull, rusty saw blades, a blow torch, smelling salts and IV plasma...... I'd be gettin medieval on his a$$. :nono

[P90Nut]

I am sorry for the pain that you & your daughter suffered at the hands of this monster. I think that your feelings are natural, given the circumstances. Do not become a slave to those feelings...try to master them.


Best wishes to you & your family,


Mark

[jamess]

To all those recommending that Chris and his daughter "move on and get past it", or "be the bigger man and forget about it", or suggest that anyone thinking sufferage of the molester is wrong:

- Has anything like this ever happened to YOUR child? Or even close???

You never 'get past' something like this. That bast#rd has affected their lives forever. It will always be in the back of your mind somewhere and that is the unfortunate truth. While my story is not the same as Chris', I know this from personal experience.

[cadduc]

i cannot offer you any comfort,
but you have the right to feel the way you do about this guy,
f him,
from your discription, i cannot think of any reason not to say
f him,

there are people we encounter in our lives that bring us pain, we dont ask for it and we are not the blame for it, stuff happens just because we are there
and i dont think you can let it go, but that is just me,
on the other side of that
you cannot let it eat and gnaw at you
somewhere you have to find a way to midigate the pain and cope with the circumstance

[shallbe]

If that had happened to my daughter, I would have had to fight off a lot of serious thought of killing the SOB.

However, at the same time, you want your daughter to somehow be made well while the hate and revenge is eating at you. I can only imagine your nearly impossible situation to control yourself at times.

You have to forgive yourself. Your feelings are only natural. I would try to not concern myself with his life at all---and want no more info on him or his condition. Moving on often comes from being removed from the situation. Just keep your concerns and energy on your family---his life is not worth your time.

[twinrider1]

To all those recommending that Chris and his daughter "move on and get past it", or "be the bigger man and forget about it", or suggest that anyone thinking sufferage of the molester is wrong:

- Has anything like this ever happened to YOUR child? Or even close???

You never 'get past' something like this. That bast#rd has affected their lives forever. It will always be in the back of your mind somewhere and that is the unfortunate truth. While my story is not the same as Chris', I know this from personal experience.

No, you never get past it.
But at some point you have to try to focus on what is good in her life. Those thoughts are back there, but you have to choose to spend your energy on making today and tomorrow better. Spending that energy on the perp just extends his crime by taking more time away from you.
You have to try.

[chrisr777]

I truly appreciate all of the good thoughts. As I said, this happened years ago. My daughter is now a well adjusted and happily married woman. She did go through some serious drug issues as a teenager, but that is behind her now. She and her husband were just accepted to Humboldt State and will be starting next fall after two years in a local junior college. When she was told about this she pretty much just shrugged it off. Her little brother, on the other hand, wanted to know where the hospital was so he could "pay a visit". I hadn't thought much about the thing in the hospital until lately. Not never, but not much. When I did it was because he was walking free. The D.A. would not file charges because of lack of evidence. They all believed my daughter and I pretty much got him to confess in a taped phone call arranged by detectives, but I guess that wasn't enough. That must be how the D.A. keeps his almost spotless conviction record. But anyway, I hope this brings a little bit of peace. Thanks again for the good thoughts.

[PA Woody]

Difficult to say who is the bigger POS...the molester or the DA for letting him go free to do it again. In my book he's no better than the perv. I wonder how he sleeps at night.

As for the perv, if he's terminal, it would be better to let the cancer take him...slowly and, painfully. If it's lung cancer, I'ld send him a pack of Camel nonfilters and a thank you card for his impending demise and making the world a better place. Hell, I might even go visit the POS just to watch him suffer. And I would take great pleasure in seeing his death in person and knowing he can't hurt anyone else. And after he dies you you can send the DA a postcard in his name from a return address of Hell that says..."Wish you were here".
An eye for an eye isn't even a down payment when it comes to child molesters.
If the perv survives the cancer.....you don't want my advice:Devil

[59Vampire]

I hope that son of a. Bitch dies a slow and pain ful death that piece of shit to harm a child. F u c. K him. I wish hallmark made a card just for this occasion : " wishing you a slow agonizing death"

Nobody who hurts a child deserves to live. If anyone touched any one of my boys there would be hell to pay guaranteed.


I hope you and your family recover from this ordeal and wish her the best of luck

[JacksonAmpworks]

I'll chime in with something here. The Bible says, ""Revenge is mine", sayeth the Lord. "I will repay."" Believe you me, whatever punishment God can come up with is far more terrible, creative and permanent than anything you and I can come up with.

Keep your hands clean and let God do what God does. And when He does, STAND CLEAR!!!

[The Golden Boy]

I think what would come out of my mouth would be similar to:

"Cancer, eh? Sucks to be you."

*shrug*

*walk away*

[gkoelling]

My view may not be popular but I'll share it anyway.

I don't blame you in the least. In fact, I share your contempt for this being. It's my understanding those monsters can not be rehabilitated. The best possible sentence for child molesters is execution with no life in prison option. That won't happen, so life in prison without parole should be mandatory.

[stratzrus]

I do feel kind of guilty about it though.
It's natural to feel guilty when you find yourself wishing harm on someone, but in this situation it's completely understandable.

Let's hope that his current medical problems will prevent him from ever hurting anyone else again.

[amigo30]

My view may not be popular but I'll share it anyway.

I don't blame you in the least. In fact, I share your contempt for this being. It's my understanding those monsters can not be rehabilitated. The best possible sentence for child molesters is execution with no life in prison option. That won't happen, so life in prison without parole should be mandatory.

That is not an unpopular sentiment with me. Screw rehabilitation. I would want revenge, then removal of the vermin. It's not fit to live with society.

[CarlosJesena]

Molesters deserve every single bad thing that happens to them. I have friends who have been sexually abused and I know it causes a minor extreme trauma.