Djs at weddings

[LongIslandRod]

The last few weddings or so that I've attended had DJs and not live bands. I can't even remember the last time I heard a live band at a wedding.

I think this sucks!


Not only does it not support musicians but the music they play blows.
It's too loud, they boost the drums and bass turning the event into an electro-techno dance club.

At the wedding I went to yesterday the DJ played one song that was a mix of great rock songs that had this annoying disco/hip-hop beat on top of it with looping scratches of vocal parts and all the guitar solos were cut out. This put me over the edge, I was beside myself sitting in the corner complaining to anyone who would listen. I wanted to take a sledge hammer to the DJ's equipment.

Going forward I'm thinking of RSVPing my wedding invitations as follows:

I will attend if there's a live band
I will not attend if there's a DJ

[franksguitar]

I think DJ's are a matter of budget and catering to alot of tastes and ages and just bring a laptop loaded with songs, speakers a few props, maybe lights and a mike. Bands for weddings have gotten quite expensive since most corporate/wedding bands charge $1500 -$2500 as an average when someone may get a DJ for $500-$750. It's a sad fact of economics and sucks for bands unless they lowball..

[JoeB63]

Going forward I'm thinking of RSVPing my wedding invitations as follows:

I will attend if there's a live band
I will not attend if there's a DJ

Great idea!

Our wedding band business has been much slower this year than last. And I doubt it's going to improve next year.

[Smakutus]

The last band I saw at a wedding was at mine in 1992.. DJ's suck.

Jeff

[ReddRanger]

Going forward I'm thinking of RSVPing my wedding invitations as follows:

I will attend if there's a live band
I will not attend if there's a DJ
All band/DJ arguments aside, I would un-invite someone who responded to my wedding invitation with such rudeness.

I'm absolutely in favor of having a good wedding band when possible. I recently went to a wedding that a had a band that did a great job. In fact I can count a few wedding I've been to that have had very good bands. But they do not come cheap.

I can also count at least one where the band failed to get people motivated to dance and it sucked. They simply couldn't make it happen.

But not every couple starting out can afford a full band, especailly if they are paying for their own wedding. I'm not saying DJ's are perfect, but they can often be found cheaper and their one person footprint can be ideal in small settings. You're also taking about feeding 5 or more musicians to 1 DJ. Plus their song selections are limitless especially if they have modern set ups with laptops. You can vary traditional or out of the ordinary music with modern dance favorites, and it will all sound as it should.

There are pros and cons to both for sure.

[8Painting]

Being a musician, i still don't want to hear a live band.

Don't get me wrong, the DJ selection usually sucks.

But I'd rather listen to a DJ playing the songs I personally requested him to play rather than paying a bunch of 40' somethings in bad suits playing bad versions of songs I like.

[BBSuggs]

There are a few wedding gigs to be had. We average 3 a year, with an overall average of 24 to 25 gigs a year. This is a horn band that plays very little "new" music, but EVERYTHING we play is danceable (www.hirollerband.com). A song doesn't make the cut if you can't dance to it.

I agree that DJs are a lame replacement, but it is indeed an economic consideration. Most of the receptions we play go no further than 2 sets. When the Bride and Groom exit, the party fizzles. And we go home early, with the same $$ as any other gig. If you can get a DJ for half the price, it's understandable.

[arthur rotfeld]

You could hire a really good wedding band (I did seven years ago), you could hire a really good band (a friend hired John Cleary's band for a New Orleans feel, which was apropos and very fun), etc. There's a lot of band options.

We get hired to do low-key weddings for folks who don't want "YMCA" and "My Way" and dancing is not a high priority.

[jazzguitarplay]

have you heard most wedding bands? id say over 95% of weddings want non stop dance mix. Most bands cannot keep the floor packed as required by the clients. And no band Ive ever heard can play every style of music from the YMCA to Salsa to hard rock to techno to hip hop to jazz to country line dances. I do some weddings where the band is hired to play jazz for the cocktail hour and sit down dinner, then a DJ comes on for the dance set. DJ's have there place. Its also the fault of live bands cause unless they rehearse 5 nights a week. They come off sounding like weekend warriors. Plus have you encountered any bridezillas? Let the DJ's have the weddings.

[arthur rotfeld]

have you heard most wedding bands? id say over 95% of weddings want non stop dance mix. Most bands cannot keep the floor packed as required by the clients. And no band Ive ever heard can play every style of music from the YMCA to Salsa to hard rock to techno to hip hop to jazz to country line dances. I do some weddings where the band is hired to play jazz for the cocktail hour and sit down dinner, then a DJ comes on for the dance set. DJ's have there place. Its also the fault of live bands cause unless they rehearse 5 nights a week. They come off sounding like weekend warriors. Plus have you encountered any bridezillas? Let the DJ's have the weddings.


Those are good points. I'll stick with the mostly cocktail hour work.:munch

[Smakutus]

have you heard most wedding bands? id say over 95% of weddings want non stop dance mix. Most bands cannot keep the floor packed as required by the clients. And no band Ive ever heard can play every style of music from the YMCA to Salsa to hard rock to techno to hip hop to jazz to country line dances. I do some weddings where the band is hired to play jazz for the cocktail hour and sit down dinner, then a DJ comes on for the dance set. DJ's have there place. Its also the fault of live bands cause unless they rehearse 5 nights a week. They come off sounding like weekend warriors. Plus have you encountered any bridezillas? Let the DJ's have the weddings.

It really depends on the couple getting married.. Watching a bunch of guys in suits trying to please everyone would suck as bad as most DJ's..

My problem with DJ's are the ones (like 90% of them) that try to be the "life of the party" when it's quite obvious that they never were, and never will be.. They're cheesy.

My old band did some weddings but mostly for people that saw us in the bars and wanted us to do that thing at their wedding. We'd learn a few extra tunes for them. We did a polka for one of them because one set of parents was polish but we did it as a instrumental medley and it went over so good they asked us to play it again later.. We'd also play tapes between sets with all the music we didn't play.

Jeff

[Structo]

Yeah the last wedding I went to had a DJ. Like you said, heavy subwoofers, drums and way too loud.
We were eating after the ceremonies had ended and the guy just had the volume up way too loud!

We couldn't carry on a conversation without shouting.

I asked the guy several times to turn it down and he just smiled and acted like he was turing knobs.
I think he fancied himself the life of the party and the music genres were all over the map with a lot of rap which I personally can't stand.

Not sure if he was a radio DJ or what but after a while we just left.

[jazzguitarplay]

Good points. In my opinion most big wedding receptions are cheesy. With the divorce rate at around 70%, the whole business seems self indulgent and tacky. Maybe I feel that way cause Ive done thousands of wedding gigs. No matter how much money you make on a wedding gig, it never seems to be enough for all the crap you gotta deal with. Let the DJ's deal with the bridezillas, there familys, friends inlaws, wedding coordinaators , etc. Thats what they desearve.

[FlyingDutchman]

I had a DJ at my wedding...I was not a big fan of the Rockin' Robin tune being blasted multiple times but some of my friends parents looked like they were in heaven dancing the nite away. I guess after the ceremony and the first hour of ass kissing between the bride and groom and the guests, who cares what the music is. I dont atleast.

[gtrwrks]

Maybe I feel that way cause Ive done thousands of wedding gigs. No matter how much money you make on a wedding gig, it never seems to be enough for all the crap you gotta deal with.

Amen. My bread/butter gig is as part of a 10pc pop group (full rhythm, 4 horns, 2 chicks) and we do primarily 70's stuff - horn tunes - EW&F, Chicago, lots of disco stuff, very little music I actually want to play.

We play corp/weddings/etc primarily with a few club gigs here/there - working an average of 65 dates a yr and a group/self-mandated required weekly rehearsal (one night). We book thru an agent and seem to be relatively lucky in that we book a ton of gigs that are direct referrals from gigs we've already done - by far most of our clients know exactly what they're getting - this makes it easy on us to as far as being able to please our audience.

This gig pays very well for a local/regional gig and I'm happy to have work just handed to me and laid out for me well in advance (presently booked thru mid/late '09), but even though I've not seen a single unhappy customer nor bridezilla, there is still a ton of crap to put up with - and, it just comes with the territory - I know that, but still get bitchy about it sometimes.

I play every date I can (quite a bit actually) that is outside of this group - I need to for my musical sanity.

[franksguitar]

When I got married in 1978 geez 30 years ago. We hired a band who played jazz to dance stuff. As the groom I even got up and played a jump blues with the band,

[rockinrob]

Being a musician, i still don't want to hear a live band.

Don't get me wrong, the DJ selection usually sucks.

But I'd rather listen to a DJ playing the songs I personally requested him to play rather than paying a bunch of 40' somethings in bad suits playing bad versions of songs I like.


+1. I'd much rather attend a wedding with a DJ then some crappy wedding band.

[isfahani]

-1

I'll sit thru the wedding, but spare me either the DJ or the crappy wedding band. Congratulations, thanks, good bye.

You got someone holding a gun to your head making you stay? Heard of free will? You can leave, instead of turning someone else's event of their life into your personal little bitch session.

Really.

[bluesjuke]

The last few weddings or so that I've attended had DJs and not live bands. I can't even remember the last time I heard a live band at a wedding.

I think this sucks!




DJ's are a secret society formed in the late 60's to undermine the livlihood of Wedding bands that ensure a good start to a marraige.


Dirty Bast@rds!

[Lucidology]

+1. I'd much rather attend a wedding with a DJ then some crappy wedding band.

Gotta disagree with you here (because I usually always agree with your posts..)

Please keep live music alive at all costs ..

Also that statement about guys over 40 playing a wedding gig
was real example of someone projecting ideas that are way too negative and judgmental ..
How very sad to read that kind of thinking here ..

Musician's don't have to be under 40 to play covers ...
In fact, probably most musicians over 40 do play covers ... why is this a bad thing ...

jeeze ...:jo

[TBoneDeluxe]

I've been to tons of weddings, and not one of them ever had a band.

I love live music...but for weddings- it's got to be a DJ. People want to hear their "song" at weddings...the actual song, not some cover version.

[Lucidology]

I've been to tons of weddings, and not one of them ever had a band.

I love live music...but for weddings- it's got to be a DJ. People want to hear their "song" at weddings...the actual song, not some cover version.

Quite a blanket statement ...

Been playing weddings all my life ... have never found this to be true ...
Have played more 1st dance wedding songs then one can ever imagine ..
And never just like the record ...

[yumanike]

We ponied up the extra cash for a live band at our wedding and it really helped to make the reception (along with great food and a full open bar)! Having a live band just adds so much atmosphere. My wife and I have attended several weddings with a DJ and they just didn't have the atmosphere we were going for. We still get complements on having a live band at the reception and if you have the means I highly recommend it.

[RockStarNick]

99% of the time, people get a DJ because of cost.

Being a musician, I was concerned about having a *bad wedding band at my upcoming wedding do *bad* renditions of tunes that I like. I thought it would be a distraction.

Then, we found these guys: www.therhythmshop.com (http://www.therhythmshop.com)

In New Jersey, they are the ones to beat, man. Amazing, amazing band - and I usually HATE wedding bands. Super tight. We talked to the drummer who is the bandleader, and an incredibly nice guy and talented musician. I'm so, so excited to have a live band of this caliber play at my wedding.

They cost a pretty penny, and we're not paying for the entire wedding, but we're definitely kicking in some extra $$$ to make it happen with these guys.

[cram]

we had a dj.
we had to pay for the entire thing by ourselves.
So it was in our back yard.
We spent on my buddy to play a tune I wrote for her to walk up and enter into this silly thing we call marriage, tents, catering and a huge bar.

[kevin hart]

I played in a band that worked primarily clubs and played a mix of covers, but mostly current pop/rock.

Our material was not really suited to do weddings, but we got requests from couples that didn't want a traditional wedding band.

We ended up selling a package deal to couples who really wanted us that included us and a local DJ.

We refused to do wedding without the DJ included.

It worked out very well. The DJ did a dinner set, did all of the announcing of the bridal party and bridal dances before we started, played on each our breaks and any special requests that people wanted to hear.

We played what we normally played at clubs and never had to learn tunes just for one gig.

[andyland6]

I played in a band that worked primarily clubs and played a mix of covers, but mostly current pop/rock.

Our material was not really suited to do weddings, but we got requests from couples that didn't want a traditional wedding band.

We ended up selling a package deal to couples who really wanted us that included us and a local DJ.

We refused to do wedding without the DJ included.

It worked out very well. The DJ did a dinner set, did all of the announcing of the bridal party and bridal dances before we started, played on each our breaks and any special requests that people wanted to hear.

We played what we normally played at clubs and never had to learn tunes just for one gig.

Smart. Very Smart.

[telecopter]

Personally, I don't like wedding gigs...we are always asked to play stuff I hate...

Journey
Kool and the Gang
Play that funky music....

Blah, blah.

[TheRockDoc]

Somehow, I can imagine the same scenario as the big band orchestras argued about Elvis and Chuck Berry killing their gigs too :)

FWIW, I have seen too many :Spank cheezy cheezewhiz cheesbag :Spank 'wedding/bar-mitzvah bands' over the years. At least I know I'm gonna have one dance with grandma doing a solid version of Funkytown with the record.
:)

FWTW, I have also seen an UNBELIEVABLE cheezy wedding/bar mitzvah productions in the NY/NJ/Conn area. I mean UN believable. Dancers, the works. I'm SURE it costs much more than an excellent band, without the whiz...

[cram]

I can't think of the last wedding I was at where a band sucked... I'm wracking my brain and I can't think of it. I just went through that stage in life where I was at a 3-5 per year clip. When I think of it, I'd say 2/3's of them had bands. They all rocked and got people dancing and most went over really well.

I think this calls for research and a wedding crashing campaign...

[JoeB63]

+1. I'd much rather attend a wedding with a DJ then some crappy wedding band.

Talk about false dichotomies! What about a good wedding band?

I've played lots of weddings. At the end of every one (with one exception, due to some very important forgotten lyrics), we've gotten great feedback from the bride and the groom and their parents and the wedding coordinator and other folks at the party.

It's also interesting that another poster here said that every wedding he's been to has had a DJ. I've been to a couple dozen weddings as a guest, and IIRC, all of them have had bands, not DJs.

Each has its pros and cons, the key consideration usually being cost. The second consideration is style of music. If you want hip hop and Rap, you're probably better off with a DJ. But bands usually add value to the event --- if they didn't, why would anyone hire a band for any event or party or club date or ....?

[Gas-man]

With the divorce rate at around 70%, .


:roll

[LongIslandRod]

I knew this would stir up the pot :stir

Regardless of the majority vote among the posters to have DJs at weddings I'm vehemently opposed to them in every way, shape or form.

DJs are a microcosm of what's become of the music business and the general public's feeling towards music.

It all started when video killed the radio star! :(

[kevin hart]

I can't think of the last wedding I was at where a band sucked... I'm wracking my brain and I can't think of it. I just went through that stage in life where I was at a 3-5 per year clip. When I think of it, I'd say 2/3's of them had bands. They all rocked and got people dancing and most went over really well.

I think this calls for research and a wedding crashing campaign...

I think that DJ's have helped weed out bad wedding bands.

Years ago before DJ's were an option, people who couldn't afford a good band ended up with a bad band, but when DJ's arrived on the scene, those bad bands lost many a gig to a DJ.

There are good and bad DJ's just like there are good and bad bands.

My first choice would always be a good band, but I'd rather have a good DJ than a bad band as a second choice and I think many people feel the same way.

[Shark21]

I saw an advertisement recently in a local publication where a DJ company was seeking "Professional DJ Musicians" for their growing business. Got a good laugh, but it made me think. These folks, like those playing plastic guitar video games, really believe they're some sort of psuedo musicians.

As for weddings; I go to the service and skip the reception if at all possible. Come to think of it, DJ's are the cause. I've seen one great wedding band and the bride's dad (my uncle through marriage) said they were $10,000. A wedding DJ can be had around here for $500. I think cash is the prime motivator.

[spectreman]

At our wedding, my wife and I picked the first dance, etc songs to dance to and had them loaded on an IPod through our PA.

Then, we took the stage to cover Dark Side of the Moon (one our favorite albums of all time...my wife and I play in a band together). We play mostly original material, so we never had the chance to play this live all the way through.

Was it dance music for our guests?

No...it is something we wanted to do, just like how we planned OUR wedding.

We then had a break with dance/party music playing (just like we do if we were playing a bar gig).

Then, we had a bunch of our friends who play all get together and do a Rock N Roll Hall Fame type jam with everybody on stage playing rock standards. We had a blast (and so did most of guests)...a very unique wedding!

[767400]

The only thing worse than a DJ at a wedding is your pregnant ex-girlfriend showing up with papers to sign.

[prsflame]

My brother hired a DJ, as a band was cost prohibitive. Folks seemed to have a great time, and everyone was up on the dance floor. I think it was the right choice, considering the amount of $$$ the mediocre wedding bands in the area were looking to charge.

[wsaraceni]

as someone who just got married and desperately wanted a band. it came down to one simple thing


quotes from djs = $1500 - $2000
quotes from bands = $7000+

[eBay]

The last few weddings or so that I've attended had DJs and not live bands. I can't even remember the last time I heard a live band at a wedding.

I think this sucks!


Not only does it not support musicians but the music they play blows.
It's too loud, they boost the drums and bass turning the event into an electro-techno dance club.

At the wedding I went to yesterday the DJ played one song that was a mix of great rock songs that had this annoying disco/hip-hop beat on top of it with looping scratches of vocal parts and all the guitar solos were cut out. This put me over the edge, I was beside myself sitting in the corner complaining to anyone who would listen. I wanted to take a sledge hammer to the DJ's equipment.

Going forward I'm thinking of RSVPing my wedding invitations as follows:

I will attend if there's a live band
I will not attend if there's a DJ

I used to live across from this place that did weddings every Saturday and I'd have to say the the DJ's were by far the more bearable of the two options. Most of the bands had lead singers that seemed like used car hucksters... "How's everyone doing?... Well alright!!!" and other non-stop high volume blabbing and blathering.

[JoeB63]

At our wedding, my wife and I picked the first dance, etc songs to dance to and had them loaded on an IPod through our PA.

Then, we took the stage to cover Dark Side of the Moon (one our favorite albums of all time...my wife and I play in a band together). We play mostly original material, so we never had the chance to play this live all the way through.

Was it dance music for our guests?

No...it is something we wanted to do, just like how we planned OUR wedding.

We then had a break with dance/party music playing (just like we do if we were playing a bar gig).

Then, we had a bunch of our friends who play all get together and do a Rock N Roll Hall Fame type jam with everybody on stage playing rock standards. We had a blast (and so did most of guests)...a very unique wedding!

So how did Granny and Gramps like the wedding??

Just kidding -- sounds like a great wedding!

[JoeB63]

I've seen one great wedding band and the bride's dad (my uncle through marriage) said they were $10,000. A wedding DJ can be had around here for $500. I think cash is the prime motivator.

Then again, earlier this year, friends of mine paid $10,000 for a 5-person DJ crew at their son's Bar Mitzvah in NY. They had a band too (they had the party across 2 separate rooms). I don't know how much they paid for the band, but they were very good -- so I'm sure it was way north of $10K.

[atquinn]

Personally, I get more worked up thinking about all the money that's wasted at weddings and receptions, regardless of whether the music is live or DJ'd, but that's just me :D

-Austin

[8Painting]

And never just like the record ...

Thats another thing people may, or may not prefer.

I don't want to hear someone noodling over a song I like. If i want that, I'll go to a club and watch a cover band. I wouldnt want to look back at a wedding and go, "man, that solo was so badass, i cant even remember the honeymoon".

Different strokes for different folks I guess.

[Chuck King]

My problem with DJ's are the ones (like 90% of them) that try to be the "life of the party" when it's quite obvious that they never were, and never will be.. They're cheesy.

There's a certain type of DJ (and they make up a pretty big percentage of DJs doing weddings, unfortunately) who is in truth a frustrated performer---a guy who can't sing, dance or play but really, really wants to be up there on stage receiving adulation. At a wedding reception, such people have a captive audience, to a certain extent.

A good DJ should be invisible, and should play what the people at the event want to dance to. I've seen too many DJs who want to be personalities, and play what they think is cool regardless of what the people at the wedding would really prefer to hear.

I've done the occasional DJ gig, so I can't really throw stones at DJs. But, it doesn't seem to occur to some people that you get what you pay for, even among DJs. A good DJ might cost less than a good band, just because of fewer people and gear, but not all DJs are created equal, and I suspect that if you differentiate between GOOD DJs and BAD DJs, the price difference is not as dramatic.

[spectreman]

So how did Granny and Gramps like the wedding??

Just kidding -- sounds like a great wedding!


They had a blast...They had never heard me play guitar before and were impressed!

[rockinrob]

Gotta disagree with you here (because I usually always agree with your posts..)

Please keep live music alive at all costs ..

Also that statement about guys over 40 playing a wedding gig
was real example of someone projecting ideas that are way too negative and judgmental ..
How very sad to read that kind of thinking here ..

Musician's don't have to be under 40 to play covers ...
In fact, probably most musicians over 40 do play covers ... why is this a bad thing ...

jeeze ...:jo


Yeah Lucid, we usually agree so I'll attempt to explain myself, but some of you guys aren't going to like it. :o


I don't get cover bands. I don't like to see them and I don't want to be in one. Now I've played covers (and on a jazz gig it's often 100% other people's tunes) but we've always tried to interpret them in our own way. I do enjoy live music, but live music in it's self isn't enough for me (even if it's played well)- I want to see people expressing themselves through music. Take a look at several current threads here, lots of them start of with I'm in this cover band but I hate 1/2 the songs, what should I do? I mean, am I supposed to enjoy watching someone play tunes they hate playing?

I'm in a band that's actually going to be doing a wedding in a couple months. But we're going to be doing our set our way and I'm sure there will be a DJ there as well. And I have played at weddings before, but doing the jazz thing during dinner or in the lounge/reception area.

If I was having a wedding I'd probably do something like a string quartet for the ceremony, then for the dinner the same or a jazz combo, then for the reception a good DJ. Makes sense to me and that's usually how my musician friends do it when they get married.


Talk about false dichotomies! What about a good wedding band?

I've played lots of weddings. At the end of every one (with one exception, due to some very important forgotten lyrics), we've gotten great feedback from the bride and the groom and their parents and the wedding coordinator and other folks at the party.

It's also interesting that another poster here said that every wedding he's been to has had a DJ. I've been to a couple dozen weddings as a guest, and IIRC, all of them have had bands, not DJs.

Each has its pros and cons, the key consideration usually being cost. The second consideration is style of music. If you want hip hop and Rap, you're probably better off with a DJ. But bands usually add value to the event --- if they didn't, why would anyone hire a band for any event or party or club date or ....?


Well, to some degree you might say there are no good wedding bands. And we have to consider that most people don't care about music nearly as much as we do. In which case, most people are much easier to please with a DJ than a band. At a wedding you can end up with a bunch of very different people together, and I can't see one band working for everyone. Maybe if you have a small wedding and your friends and family have the same taste, but that's never been my experience. It's like in those movies where they have a prom and everyone digs the same band- it just doesn't happen in real life. A DJ can read the crowd and through out the night play something that everyone will dig.



I knew this would stir up the pot :stir

Regardless of the majority vote among the posters to have DJs at weddings I'm vehemently opposed to them in every way, shape or form.

DJs are a microcosm of what's become of the music business and the general public's feeling towards music.

It all started when video killed the radio star! :(


You could also say that too many crappy bar bands and cover bands killed live music. Most of my friends are DJs, and a couple are very good. They're record collections are worth more than most people here's gear collections and they take it very seriously. But yes, most wedding DJs are pretty crappy too, so it's really the choice of the lesser evil. My advice- AVOID ANYTHING WITH THE LABEL "WEDDING" BEFORE IT AND YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT...