First impressions, not always correct

[rob2001]

Thought i'd share a little story.

I work as a furnace installer. My company gets a few jobs from a low income agency that helps out low income families. Well, as you might figure, one place I worked on had a 52" big screen, X-boxes, pretty nice cars in the driveway.... you get the point.

This week, I pull up to the house i'm gonna be working on. New siding, new decks, hot tub, almost totally remodeled .... and i'm thinkin, how do these people qualify for low income assistance?

Anyhow, I start my work, (no one is home) and this is a pretty tough install. About 4 o clock a couple with 2 kids come home. Driving a pretty nice car to boot. They seem like a nice young couple. But i'm still thinking they probably don't deserve a free furnace. The job took 3 days and in that time, I learned thier story.

He did a tour in Iraq, was shot and has no feeling on the right side of his body. Since coming home, he worked as an insulation installer, carpenters apprentice, and at an auto body shop. Durring that time he's been basicly recovering from his injury.

After seeing whats out there as far as work, he decided to go to school. He's gonna be a Paramedic. He said, "I might not get rich, but I can maybe save a few lives". She is also going to school.

The house in question was willed to them by her parents who had recently died. All the improvements were done by him, no assistance, while he wasn't at work. The hot tub was her parents also.

Yesterday, he bought me lunch, helped me out with some ducting, and to top that off, called my boss and told them that he was very happy with the work I did.

So my first impressions couldn't have been more wrong. At first, I thought, here's another parasite taking advantage of the system.

Now i'm thinking that at least this time, someone that needs a helping hand is getting it. And i'm feeling pretty good that a hard working, deserving young family will be warm and safe this winter with the new furnace I put in. (the old furnace was dangerous!)

[mge80]

So my first impressions couldn't have been more wrong. At first, I thought, here's another parasite taking advantage of the system.



I doubt you're the only one. It happens all the time. People jumping to conclusions about things they don't know the first thing about.

Good for you for getting to see there often is more than what meets the eye.

[GAD]

I live in a pretty nice area where people seem to drive Acuras on the low end. We volunteer time at the local food pantry which is only available to our town (our town is huge in rural NJ). There are almost 100 families getting assistance.

I read somewhere that most families in the US are two months away from bankruptcy at any time due to too much credit and poor financial planning. I believe it. I've seen people go from living a pretty good life to being on state assistance in the span of only a few months.

I recommend everyone do something to help your local community. You never know when you might need that help yourself.

Awesome post. Thanks for sharing.

GAD

[scottlr]

Great story, great point!

[rob2001]

Thanks guys, I wasn't sure how this would be recieved.

He also mentioned that he knew some might frown on them for taking the assistance, and that he felt kinda bad....... I told him that if he has a chance to make a better life for his family, thats nothing to be ashamed of.

[Suproman77]

Thanks guys, I wasn't sure how this would be recieved.

He also mentioned that he knew some might frown on them for taking the assistance, and that he felt kinda bad....... I told him that if he has a chance to make a better life for his family, thats nothing to be ashamed of.

He served time in Iraq and has a permanent injury to show for it, but instead of feeling entitled, he feels humbly undeserving and devoted his life to saving others. That, in my book, means he deserves the assistance and more.

I bet this was a 'stop and appreciate what you have in life' and 'don't judge a book by its cover' experience for you...pretty cool. Perhaps we all need to have one of those once in awhile.

[jumpnblues]

Deleted my post. Just didn't seem appropriate for the thread.


Tom

[stratzrus]

We often tend to put down organizations that try to help people as inefficient and wasteful, but this story describes what non-profits do at their best.

You must have felt good at the end of the day knowing you had really helped someone...not in the abstract, but a real person.

Nice.

[Seditious]

It's great to hear this. I see the other side every day at school so to hear that someone who needs it is getting it puts a smile on my face.

[pfflam]

I worked delivering very high-end rugs to the very very wealthy

I'd like to say that I had the same sort of experiences with them that you had . . .
Hmm?! let me see? I guess the constantly-tipsy woman that I saw almost every month with a new rug who had an art collection that any museum would love . . . hm?!
Or her daughter who's house was the size of an airport on land the sized of some small towns with a crew of servants the size of some small colleges . . . I guess I was surprised to find out her boyfriend was actually a well respected poet
. .. so I suppose that is one of those stories, they had a sense of culture whereas usually those folks are crass and treat you less than human.

[pfflam]

I generally think that there are a lot of stories with the poor, even those that we often think are playing-the-system, even when they appear to be doing so, -hey even 'Joe' had the system help his family out when a he was a young kid . . . I also think the same with the rich, even those who wore their ability to order people (me) around like a badge of honor and who acted entitled to dehumanize those with whom they dealt as a matter of course.

[diego]

I have a physical disability that you can't see... it has to do with the internal workings of my body. I've been pretty amazed by the negativity and disbelief I've recieved from others.

Food for thought: where does this skepticism come from? True, there are people that "work" the system, but my experience after being in a few of the systems set up to help those that need help, is that they are incredibly dysfunctional and not a place to linger in. I think a lot of the skepticism comes from those in positions of power. People that truly need and deserve help or portrayed in a lot of negative ways.

If you want to be pissed at someone or skeptical, look at the incredible increase between rich and poor in this country, and the media that present being rich as what all should try to attain. We live in times where those in power dismiss responibility for the greater good.

[bluesjuke]

The system is used by some to have the help they need for good cause and/ or a temporary situation.
Then they move up and on.
Others have good cause for long term help.

That is what programs are supposed to be for and work as designed.
It's only those that abuse and take advantage of it that are undeserving.

[duckbunny]

Thanks for a wonderful post, Rob.
Having lived on five continents, I've come to firmly believed that the true strength of we Americans lies in our diversity and our compassion. Thanks for helping renew that belief in such times as these.




-db

[XKnight]

That's a great story, but unfortunately the vast majority of folks on public assistance and welfare programs don't have a similar story to tell.

[TGwaH]

That's a great story, but unfortunately the vast majority of folks on public assistance and welfare programs don't have a similar story to tell.

As they say on another board I am on, cite?

[XKnight]

As they say on another board I am on, cite?


I speak from personal experience having worked for a public assistance agency in NYC and also having extensive contact during the last 20 years with people that live in publicly funded housing projects . Perhaps NYC and the other major metro areas where I've worked are not representative of the typical folks on welfare, but I doubt it.

[TGwaH]

I speak from personal experience having worked for a public assistance agency in NYC and also having extensive contact during the last 20 years with people that live in publicly funded housing projects . Perhaps NYC and the other major metro areas where I've worked are not representative of the typical folks on welfare, but I doubt it.

Anecdote does not equal data.

[XKnight]

Anecdote does not equal data.

If you're trying to enlighten me it's not working. I'm simply stating my opinion which is actually based upon my personal experiences. If you'd like to post data that counters my opinion then go for it.

[TGwaH]

If you'd like to post data that counters my opinion then go for it.

You are the one making the claims, ergo it is your responsibility to back up your arguments.

When one studies battlefield history one does not study the experiences of one soldier as that provides a very narrow view of the reality of the situation.

One thing that I have noticed about TGP, is that when it sticks to gear, it is fantastic, when it veers from that there seems to be a lot of posts easily slipping into political discussion, or at the very least expressing something boarding dangerously on political opinion. An interesting thing around the rules.

[rob2001]

I have a physical disability that you can't see... it has to do with the internal workings of my body. I've been pretty amazed by the negativity and disbelief I've recieved from others.

Food for thought: where does this skepticism come from? True, there are people that "work" the system, but my experience after being in a few of the systems set up to help those that need help, is that they are incredibly dysfunctional and not a place to linger in. I think a lot of the skepticism comes from those in positions of power. People that truly need and deserve help or portrayed in a lot of negative ways.

If you want to be pissed at someone or skeptical, look at the incredible increase between rich and poor in this country, and the media that present being rich as what all should try to attain. We live in times where those in power dismiss responibility for the greater good.


Sorry to hear about your situation. You do bring up intersting points to this. I can only speak for myself but yes, I think there is a level of skepticism when it comes to people getting this kind of assistance.

I work very hard to earn my living and i'm still barely in the black so ya, I question it when I see what might be abuse of the system. In this instance, I was wrong. I've done about 10 of these jobs and i'm not sure if I could tell the same story. Maybe if I took the time to get to know thier story as I did these people i'd find they too deserve help, but I just don't know. I can only hope that the agency itself is deserving and doing a good job.


But really, this is more about not jumping to the conclusions that might seem obvious. In all cases including the rich, as some have mentioned as well as the poor and the middle. These days with instant everything and personal connection like we've never seen, I think the same stereotypes that always existed are pushing us even further apart.



Never the less, i've learned somthing about others and about myself from this one small experience. No matter the extenuating circumstances or issues, i'm better for it.

[rob2001]

One thing that I have noticed about TGP, is that when it sticks to gear, it is fantastic, when it veers from that there seems to be a lot of posts easily slipping into political discussion, or at the very least expressing something boarding dangerously on political opinion. An interesting thing around the rules.

I appriciate your opinions but I can assure you I had no intention of anything political here, and I don't see any posts that would be considered as such.

[TGwaH]

I appriciate your opinions but I can assure you I had no intention of anything political here, and I don't see any posts that would be considered as such.

Please forgive me if I gave an indication that this thread had any sort of political intention behind it, rather I was using a specific post to comment on an observation.

[rob2001]

please forgive me if i gave an indication that this thread had any sort of political intention behind it, rather i was using a specific post to comment on an observation.

:beer :) :aok

[pfflam]

nevermind

[XKnight]

You are the one making the claims, ergo it is your responsibility to back up your arguments.

I'm simply expressing an opinion and have already provided you with information as to how I formed my opinion.

When one studies battlefield history one does not study the experiences of one soldier as that provides a very narrow view of the reality of the situation.

TGP is not a University course so your analogy is a bit misguided in light of the fact that we are not studying anything here.

One thing that I have noticed about TGP, is that when it sticks to gear, it is fantastic, when it veers from that there seems to be a lot of posts easily slipping into political discussion, or at the very least expressing something boarding dangerously on political opinion. An interesting thing around the rules.

So basically what you're saying is that when discussing gear it's perfectly reasonable to provide an opinion based upon personal experience, but somehow the topic at hand requires empirical data and statistics to substantiate an opinion.

[Guitar Slinger6]

Thought i'd share a little story.

I work as a furnace installer. My company gets a few jobs from a low income agency that helps out low income families. Well, as you might figure, one place I worked on had a 52" big screen, X-boxes, pretty nice cars in the driveway.... you get the point.

This week, I pull up to the house i'm gonna be working on. New siding, new decks, hot tub, almost totally remodeled .... and i'm thinkin, how do these people qualify for low income assistance?

Anyhow, I start my work, (no one is home) and this is a pretty tough install. About 4 o clock a couple with 2 kids come home. Driving a pretty nice car to boot. They seem like a nice young couple. But i'm still thinking they probably don't deserve a free furnace. The job took 3 days and in that time, I learned thier story.

He did a tour in Iraq, was shot and has no feeling on the right side of his body. Since coming home, he worked as an insulation installer, carpenters apprentice, and at an auto body shop. Durring that time he's been basicly recovering from his injury.

After seeing whats out there as far as work, he decided to go to school. He's gonna be a Paramedic. He said, "I might not get rich, but I can maybe save a few lives". She is also going to school.

The house in question was willed to them by her parents who had recently died. All the improvements were done by him, no assistance, while he wasn't at work. The hot tub was her parents also.

Yesterday, he bought me lunch, helped me out with some ducting, and to top that off, called my boss and told them that he was very happy with the work I did.

So my first impressions couldn't have been more wrong. At first, I thought, here's another parasite taking advantage of the system.

Now i'm thinking that at least this time, someone that needs a helping hand is getting it. And i'm feeling pretty good that a hard working, deserving young family will be warm and safe this winter with the new furnace I put in. (the old furnace was dangerous!)


I think that you have a great job, I don't get to help the hurt or hurting in my line of work. I think that it is really great that you get to do this.

[rattles]

I'm like the OP. I don't mind helping people that really need the help.
It's the scumbags that take advantage of the system that really piss me off. They know all the loop holes of every system. I've gladly helped a lot of people by giving them food when they had none.

Good on you OP!

[JRenn]

Way cool, Rob.

Thanks for sharing the story with us- it can be a reminder to keep our eyes open for the good in others...

...EVEN IF the usual situation is not as sincere.

[stratzrus]

I hope we can respect Rob's post and not take it somewhere else.

[Glenn D.]

Anecdote does not equal data.

First the cite request, and now this. You're taking the words right out of my fingertips. Are you on AFCA by chance?

Glenn D.

[TGwaH]

I'm simply expressing an opinion and have already provided you with information as to how I formed my opinion.

Actually, your original post was not framed as opinion, but rather as fact, ergo I call upon you to back up your statement of claim.



TGP is not a University course so your analogy is a bit misguided in light of the fact that we are not studying anything here.

Actually, I was using my analogy to point out the flaw in your argument, in that you were presenting an "opinion" based upon your personal experiences, and I was merely pointing out why doing so was faulty.

So basically what you're saying is that when discussing gear it's perfectly reasonable to provide an opinion based upon personal experience, but somehow the topic at hand requires empirical data and statistics to substantiate an opinion.

Yes. Opinion of gear is entirely subjective based upon personal tastes, whereas what you presented in the post I called you out on is something, that if true, you should easily be able to prove, no?

First the cite request, and now this. You're taking the words right out of my fingertips. Are you on AFCA by chance?

Glenn D.

Glenn, I'm not familiar with AFCA, though I suspect I would fit in quite well with the culture there. What is it?

I'm actually a member of the snopes boards. A board dedicated to learning the truth behind rumours tends to demand a higher degree of research, which I likes :)

[diego]

I think this board hosts lots of interesting and valuable discussions, including this one. A lot of what gets posted is opinion. When I see posts where others demand backup to validate opinions -- in terms of stating their experience, statistics and the like -- I think it's misplaced. We can all certainly decide whose opinions are of merit to us, but to set up one's personal standard as the bar which everyone else has to cross in order to be valid... well... it's a bit much. Beyond that, statistics can be really questionable, and used in questionable ways to serve arguments.

[enocaster]

This is a valuable story! And it should be noted that it's in a discussion section called "The Pub", not a peer-reviewed professional journal or doctoral thesis.

[crosse79]

A good story and a timely reminder :)

[The Golden Boy]

I used to live in a rooming house when I was in college. I learned a lot of stuff while living there.

I learned what crack smells like.

I also learned to check my empathy.

One of the apartments had a room on the north wall of the building- and it was cold in there. Not just a little cold, but really cold. I had 2 space heaters, so I told the guy he could borrow one. ****er sold it for crack money. It was a kickass heater too.