Engagement ring advice?

[fretnot]

Any jewelers or knowledgeable jewelry folks with any engagement ring advice? Yeah, yeah, I know...DON'T DO IT! I get it. But jewelers I have been to all seem like used car salesmen to me (No offense to used car salesman, but I don't feel like an engagement ring should feel like I am buying a new set of tires.) Thanks for any advice.

[orogeny]

i learned a whole lot going through that.

i actually have a gorgeous ring here. i'd sell it for a wee bit over half the appraisal. send an email if you want more details.

meanwhile, what specific questions do you have?

[mwc2112]

Don't overlook online dealers. I wound up getting one from someone who actually sold on eBay and I was able to get one and avoid sales tax etc. He even let me send it back to do a modification to it with no additional cost beyond materials.

Also, wherever you get it, make it personal. I designed my wife's engagement ring myself, so when I bought the stone I wanted I was able to show the dealer my design and he made it to my specifications which I thought was much cooler then some of the cookie-cutter rings you'll find in a store.

Oh... and most importantly... congrats!!! :)

[orogeny]

actually, first decide what shape and general size you want and work from there.

[orogeny]

Oh... and most importantly... congrats!!! :)
plus one on that. hope it works out better than my first try! (no wedding, so i got lucky).

[orogeny]

you'll learn a lot just by messing around right here.

adjust parameters . .. . .

http://mondera.com/diamonds/index.asp

[Tonefish]

I saw some surprisingly nice ones at Costco when in there with my wife recently. She knows a lot about jewelry and said they were really good quality at a really good price. No kidding!

[orogeny]

oh, and GIA is preferred certification for most folks.

[yumanike]

Look at Blue Nile. They are GIA certified and my wife loves the ring I got her from there. Also, we got my wedding ring from there and it was the wrong size (my fault), so they took it back no problem and sent me the right one. Also, if you don't live in Washington, you save a ton by not paying sales tax.

[orogeny]

Look at Blue Nile. They are GIA certified and my wife loves the ring I got her from there. Also, we got my wedding ring from there and it was the wrong size (my fault), so they took it back no problem and sent me the right one. Also, if you don't live in Washington, you save a ton by not paying sales tax.

also very good.

[chrisgraff]

Look at rings with your lady.

Antique rings cost less, (if she's open to the idea).

For goodness sake don't go into debt for a freakin' ring!

[Tonefish]

oh, and GIA is preferred certification for most folks.

:agree ....I've seen some lousy diamonds that the poor girls were really proud of....man, what are you supposed to say :tapedshut

[fretnot]

Look at rings with your lady.

Antique rings cost less, (if she's open to the idea).

For goodness sake don't go into debt for a freakin' ring!


I'll be paying cash, so that is not an issue. I am not a debt kinda guy. :BEER

[Kingbeegtrs]

don't indulge. If she loves you she'll be happy with whatever you buy. If she isn't happy you don't need her anyway. Cheap lovers make expensive wives.

[ReflectionsBurn]

what kind of cut/style does she like...i had a great experience here, a personal jeweler, beautiful store only works by appointment was referred to me by a friend, really down to earth on the 4c thing and would recommend to anyone i know...so granted you arent here...my soon to be bride has tiny hands so i had to find something not gaudy that didnt engulf her hands so i got a white gold band with little diamonds all the way around and round stone on top...its 1.2 carats now the thing about finding someone that owns a local shop vs a chain...is negotiation...diamond markup is usually 100% to wholesaler and 100% to retailer...so it goes from $1,000...to wholesaler $2,000 to retailer $4,000...like the edited version of lethal weapon with joe pesci...'they freak in the drive thru'

[A-Bone]

you'll learn a lot just by messing around right here.

adjust parameters . .. . .

http://mondera.com/diamonds/index.asp

+1 for mondera. Great resource for jewelry and jewelry information.

[Midnight Lady]

Just a word of advice --- obviously I've never purchased a diamond. I've usually been on the receiving end. But when making a large purchase that has emotional overtones, you should decide before you go shopping what your absolute top price is. And STICK to it. It's easy to overspend under pressure and if you feel any regret about it later -- not conducive to a happy beginning.

Just something to keep in mind.

[fretnot]

I have negotioating skills, and would never buy anything that I wasn't comfortable with the price. I have been known to negotiate the cost of popcorn at my movie theatre, which is about the same price as a diamond ring. :messedup

[teestone]

I will agree that GIA is the preferred certification. But don't think you can't find a nice stone with a different certification.

I just recently went through the adventure of buying an engagement ring.

After viewing many, many stones I ended up buying an EGL certified stone. At the end of the day, it just looked better to me. The cut was fantastic and it just popped better than any other stone I looked at. That doesn't mean mean it's better or worse, I just liked it the best.

Naturally, she loves it and could give a rats ass who certified it....it's freakin' gorgeous!!!

My advice....educate yourself....learn your four C's and know what you're looking at when shopping. Don't be afraid to ask the sales guy to get more stones out for you to view. The more you look at, the easier it will be to decide what factors are important to you and your girlfriend.

Stay away from retail chains...try to find a local wholesaler. Places like Jared with their "Leo" diamond are a just using gimmicks. The stone may look nice, but you'll overpay for sure. In actuality, there's no way to grade such diamonds because Jared is the only place using that kind of cut.

Check out Pricescope....it's a very informative forum. Don't read to far into some of the stuff you'll read there. Some of those guys are nutso about diamonds.
Good luck to you and congrats!!:BEER

[metz420]

+1 to the GIA certification and also to teestone's recommendation about learning the 4 C's (cut, color, clarity, and carat weight). In general, after deciding the cut, I would try to find the most colorless stone you can find, with relatively good clarity. Clarity (the measure of flaws or inclusions) will cost you a pretty penny the more towards VVSI (very very slight inclusion) and I know no one personally that has a flawless diamond. Problem with clarity is that, unless you have a magnifying glass, you can't see and appreciate all that flawlessness. You CAN, however, see firsthand if the diamond is clear or milky.

[Jon Silberman]

I find it amusing indeed how guitarists who claim they need >$2K boutique bolt-ons and amps to sound good consistently advise newly engaged men to skimp on the engagement ring. Take the pennies out of your loafers and buy her something excellent for cryin' out loud!

Note: this diatribe is not addressed to the OP. I don't really have any advice for you as I bought my wife's engagement ring stone from my cousin's diamond wholesaler employer on the 73rd or so floor of the Empire State Building.

[reentune]

If in Philly, what about trying Steven Singer Jewelers.
Come to NYC and I'll hook you up with an awesome Russian lady on West 47 in the Diamond District.
She did me right.
And, yes, the ring I bought cost more that any one of my fancy guitars (including my Heatleys—I know you're a fan, fretnot).

[Teleplayer]

I find it amusing indeed how guitarists who claim they need >$2K boutique bolt-ons and amps to sound good consistently advise newly engaged men to skimp on the engagement ring. Take the pennies out of your loafers and buy her something excellent for cryin' out loud!

Note: this diatribe is not addressed to the OP. I don't really have any advice for you as I bought my wife's engagement ring stone from my cousin's diamond wholesaler employer on the 73rd or so floor of the Empire State Building.

Stellar post Jon.

Yep, "I need that $650 stomp box from the Maharishi Stompbox Mahesh Electrician to make my $8,500 bedroom rig sound better. Oh yeah.......diamonds are just pieces of old carbon; just ornamental.....and don't let DeBerrs tell you otherwise... If she really loves you, she'll be happy with anything you get her.....no need to spend more than $2k...."

Definitely NOT pointed at the OP. I just happen to agree with Jon. Regardless of market value, the ring will be an endearing lifetime symbol.

The $8,500 bedroom rig? Meh.

[Shamus]

1. Take time to find out what she likes.. Stone, cut, setting, metal...

2. Determine whether you want new or antique... Older diamonds have wonderful personality, but were not cut with the same precision as today. Older diamonds are less expensive, haven't been "treated", but often don't have the same brilliance because of cut imperfections.. New diamonds are expensive, but are cut to more exacting specs.

3. Online is great, but get out there and educate yourself!! This requires a great deal of time. Get into some larger cities, preferably, and bounce from shop to shop.

4. Know and understand the 4 C's - it will be important to be armed with knowledge when you begin comparing and negotiating.

5. Don't be contained by mass taste. I ended up custom designing a large sapphire fillagreed yellow gold engagement ring that turned out incredible - a perfect match to my wife's personality and tastes. The search had begun 6 months prior with me looking at antique mine-cut diamond rings... It was a long process, but I learned a ton and ended up with the perfect ring for her.

GOOD LUCK!

[ezyrydr]

I have a ring for sale if anyone is interested.

I paid 2k for it and I'll let it go real cheap.

PM if interested

[customstrat]

Shop around. I wanted to be different than the norm around me. I was so used to seeing the Platinum/solitaire ring that I got sick of it. I went antique. An old mine cut flanked with three diamonds on each side and ornate engraving all through the band. She was very happy that I took the time to find something "different". It didnt cost me an arm and a leg either. It was online but I drove to see it in person as well as others.

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i170/kwynneth/age1908a.jpg

[sir muttley]

I would be leery of online stores vs. real stores.

1. You take face-to-face negotiating out of the mix. You already
said you like to negotiate. Face-to-face is always best.

2. You get service at a real store, like free ring cleaning for life. Not sure
how that would work online.

3. You can get other perks from the real store. When I was negotiating my wife's ring, they came up with the idea of sending the "official" ring box (empty) out-of-state to a family member so I could save on the tax. That was almost $1000 savings right there.

Finally, determine, what it is that your future wife is looking for. A larger carat size? A cleaner diamond (color & inclusions)? That will help, as well. But from what I can tell, most like the "big rock." I wouldn't go any lower than SI1, though.

Good luck and congrats!

[RockStarNick]

Dude, you like around Philly... take the day trip to NYC and go to the diamond district.

#1 thing: FIND OUT WHAT SHE WANTS.

Yes, its not "old fashioned", but for example.

a 1K Princess cut diamond ring with a PAve band is an AMAZING looking ring. But, if I would have got that for my Finace, she wouldn't have liked it.

Think about it this way: Would you want your girlfriend going to Guitar Center and buying you a $5,000 guitar, but you have NO say in the matter? And you're praying that she brings home a Custom Shop Strat, but she picks out a vintage Rickenbacker... great guitar, but not what you wanted.

That's why I'm glad my fiance "put in her order..."

[neastguy]

I spent a lot on the ring (more than andy music equipment I have, way more), but I figured it was going to be a lifelong thingy.. which it should be.. lol.. anyhow I went to a private jewler (on a recommendation) and I looked at each diamond individual and selected it.. then later had it set in a ring.. I think its the best way to go... I cant see buying a diamond on line.. and the stores in the mall cant compare to how nice my wife's ring is... when she is in the grocery store, those lights make that mutha shoot rays everywhere.. it was worth the money...IMO

[Aaron Cheney]

I've worked in the jewelry biz for 20 years. I'm currently the marketing director for a small, high-end jewelry design firm in Seattle.

A lot of the advice here is the same that I would give. First and foremost: educate yourself. Knowing how the speak the lingo with a salesman will almost always get you a better deal, because they know they can't juke you around. Know what the Rappaport is. Make sure you drop the term while shopping....and don't say "Rappaport"; say "Rap", as in "How much over Rap is this stone?" And don't say "under Rap"; say "back of Rap". They probably won't tell you anyway, but the minute you lob those terms out they will know you are in it to win it. Don't be surprised if some green salesperson says "Huh?" Kindly explain Rap to them, and watch them squirm as they realize you know more about diamonds than they do. :)

Get to New York if you can. 1000x the resources of anywhere on the East Coast.

Buying from a wholesaler would obviously save you money, but most will not help the general public. Any "wholesaler" that sells to the public probably isn't a legitimate wholesaler - just a retailer in sheep's clothing. You'll have to know someone on the inside to get in. If you don't, then you're out of luck. Don't stress over this. Nobody is making a ton of dough on diamonds these days (except to people that aren't educated about diamonds before they go shopping!)

Most importantly: Don't, I repeat don't, buy a diamond based solely on specs. Some guys get all into comparing specs, proportions, ratios, blah, blah, blah, like they are trading baseball cards. Specs are a starting point, but they don't tell the whole story. You have to look at a diamond to know what you've got. It's been said that no two Stratocasters are the same, even though they were made to the same specs. Diamonds are no different. You have to look at many, side by side, to find the one you want. Of the four C's, the cut is the one most often overlooked, and the one most difficult to quantify. A good cut can make or break a diamond. The other three C's simply refer to the material, but Cut refers to the quality of the finished product - not just the shape, but how skillfully the material was crafted to capture and reflect light.

GIA and EGL are the two most widely valued cert's. This is becuase they are independent, and have to interest in the stone...you know that the grade is accurate. NEVER place as much value on a cert done by a private appraisal service. They operate on the same level as house inspectors referred by real estate agents - to keep from becoming known as "deal breakers" and losing referels they sometimes get a little liberal with their grades. Having said all that, you also pay a premium for a GIA or EGL stone. Don't be afraid of a non-certed stone. They are no better or worse....they just haven't been cert'ed. If you are working with a dealer you trust you can find good deals here.

As diamonds get bigger, prices go up exponentially. Look for stones just under standard sizes...as in .96 or .97 instead of 1.00, or .48 instead of .50. You'll get a stone very close to a standard size, but you'll save twice: once because of the lower carat weight, and again because you bought just under a higher price bracket. Stones like this are more difficult to find.

ac

[PinoyBoy]

Any jewelers or knowledgeable jewelry folks with any engagement ring advice? Yeah, yeah, I know...DON'T DO IT! I get it. But jewelers I have been to all seem like used car salesmen to me (No offense to used car salesman, but I don't feel like an engagement ring should feel like I am buying a new set of tires.) Thanks for any advice.

What type of "advise" are you looking for? Where to buy? What "specs" are best? What's okay vs. good vs. wowow?

In my case, I was fortunate to have found the right stone for my budget and preferences through a well-connected friend. It was "low" 1-something stone, round shape, VVS2 (or VS1?) clarity, I color. I forget the rating for cut. I brought the stone to a different family friend who completed the ring. I chose a white gold band instead of yellow gold.

I think these specs are just right -- not too flashy or too pricey, and yet great looking.

[localmotion411]

I was given a diamond engagement ring by my grandmother this past year (she has a few, been married 5 times). White gold setting, and a little dinky, so I had the diamond put in a new setting. It is a 1.52c O-color almost flawless diamond, and my local shop advised me to use it instead of trading it for a smaller, better color diamond. They made the ring and I picked it up last week. Haven't even given it yet (Thanksgiving).

The ring is platinum with three diamonds set on either side of the center brilliant cut diamond (the heirloom). Here is the problem: the ring and the rest of the diamonds are so white, it makes the main stone look pretty yellow in some lights. I'm debating whether or not to just give it as-is or exchange the main stone for one that looks a little better. The shop says that it is a family diamond which makes the color okay. I have a little sentimental value for the diamond, but not enough to make me stick with it. Other than the slight color of the diamond, the ring looks fantastic and I really don't think it would be an issue. Any suggestions?

Sorry to derail, but I thought my experience might help the OP and others.

[Structo]

http://www.wikihow.com/Choose-a-Diamond

http://www.diamonds.com/education/education_intro.aspx

[Quinny]

I spoke with one of the guys here:

www.diamondland.be (http://www.diamondland.be)

for about 5 months before heading over to visit him with my good lady. The plan was for her to choose a diamond and a ring, he'd make it there and then. We spent the morning there, went for lunch before planning to return.... on the way to lunch she fell in love with one in another shop window. :D I went back and explained to the guy, he was as gracious as could be.

Do your research.... and I'd advise staying under 1 carat, the prices go rapidly skyward once you hit the 1C mark, seemingly without much logic.

Q.

[teestone]

I find it amusing indeed how guitarists who claim they need >$2K boutique bolt-ons and amps to sound good consistently advise newly engaged men to skimp on the engagement ring. Take the pennies out of your loafers and buy her something excellent for cryin' out loud!

Note: this diatribe is not addressed to the OP. I don't really have any advice for you as I bought my wife's engagement ring stone from my cousin's diamond wholesaler employer on the 73rd or so floor of the Empire State Building.

Just in case this is directed at me....the diamond ring I bought was more than all of my musical gear combined. Does this validate my advice now?

[Hendrix99]

Shop around, do all of your research online before you even think about going into a store and consider what I did. I took my mom with me. I know, it seems weird, but to me it was just like taking my dad with me when I bought my first car. The sales people didn't seem to even try to pull any fast ones on us, since both mom and dad knew the game. I saved a bunch on the car and the ring and it made my parents feel important (they are anyway, but you get the point).

[JDJ]

There is a difference between having a stone GIA certified verses having a GIA-trained in-house person give the stone a GIA rating. The tendency is for in-house folks to inflate the GIA rating (b/c then they can charge more for the stone).

Actually having the stone GIA certified means sending it out to the GIA lab. There were only two labs in the US when I went through this many years ago.

[ben_allison]

I designed my ring. Drew it up, took it to a jeweler that I was referred to by a friend.

She showed me a few stones, I picked one. She made a wax cast of my design, I approved it, she had the stone set. Voila! Took about 3-4 weeks, and I ended up paying half the price (I have the Gemscan certificate to prove it).

Great experience. Say no to retail!!!

[teestone]

Most importantly: Don't, I repeat don't, buy a diamond based solely on specs. Some guys get all into comparing specs, proportions, ratios, blah, blah, blah, like they are trading baseball cards. Specs are a starting point, but they don't tell the whole story. You have to look at a diamond to know what you've got. It's been said that no two Stratocasters are the same, even though they were made to the same specs. Diamonds are no different. You have to look at many, side by side, to find the one you want. Of the four C's, the cut is the one most often overlooked, and the one most difficult to quantify. A good cut can make or break a diamond. The other three C's simply refer to the material, but Cut refers to the quality of the finished product - not just the shape, but how skillfully the material was crafted to capture and reflect light.ac

Great advice!!! Let your eyes do the judging.

[Notverysuttle]

I took my fiancee, now wife, shopping to find her engagement ring. I found out one very important thing, the ring I would have selected was not even in her top five choices. Also, ring shopping with her was fun, not to mention she got the exact ring she wanted.

[Bluestar]

Diamonds are expensive. Prepare to join the ranks of those who simply can't understand why you pay so much for a little sparkly thing on a ring. Really, get comfortable with the fact diamonds are expensive so you can at least have some enjoyment with your shopping experience.

Diamond grading is real, and you get what you pay for. The difference between a low grade and high grade diamond is very significant, and a medium grade and high grade diamond significant, especially in the best light to note the differences, natural sunlight.