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View Full Version : Guitarist Gifts for Christmas....


LavaMan
12-16-2008, 10:18 AM
Inspired by the Onion and the Gotcha Boxes here's my list:

The Auto-Tuner - This light-weight device attaches to your guitar's tuning pegs and automatically tunes your guitar every 500 milliseconds - you will never have have to worry about being out-of-tune again...designed espcially for those players with tin ears...fits all guitars...

The Playing Adjuster - This device sits on top of your amp and connects wirelessly via a earpice and plays a loud beeping noise whenever your timing is off or your playing is off. Kind of a self correcting click track for guitar players...now you can always be spot on as a player...plays extremely loud series of obnoxious beeps when excessive wanking or soloing occurs....

The Pick Leash -Tired of dropping your pick when you kick off into your nightly burning solo? The the Pick leash is just for you. It snaps on to any pick of any size and then via "dog-like" collar fastens to your wrist...You'll never have to worry about loosing a pick again....

The Auto-Volume - Tired of club owners and fellow band mates yelling at you because you are too loud? This device is built around a super sensitive DB meter and connects to any amps master volume via a specially designed control arm. Just pre-set and go....

I am sure we can think up some more... :D

re-animator
12-16-2008, 11:32 AM
THIS (http://www.notcot.com/archives/2007/12/guitar_vox_ohmi.php) should do it.

bkd_guitarist
12-16-2008, 11:43 AM
Some good ideas here...I would suggest the following refinements:

The Playing Adjuster - This device sits on top of your amp and connects wirelessly via a earpice and plays a loud beeping noise whenever your timing is off or your playing is off. Kind of a self correcting click track for guitar players...now you can always be spot on as a player...plays extremely loud series of obnoxious beeps when excessive wanking or soloing occurs....

I like this one, but instead of obnoxious beeps, I'd integrate it with a shock collar like they use for dogs. A great gift for your favorite pitch-challenged singer or tempo-disadvantaged drummer!

The Auto-Volume - Tired of club owners and fellow band mates yelling at you because you are too loud? This device is built around a super sensitive DB meter and connects to any amps master volume via a specially designed control arm. Just pre-set and go...

I assume this device responds to volume complaints by turning the volume UP? Almost goes without saying, just wanted to check.

My contribution would be the Bass Tube, a handy cast-iron sleeve that easily slides over the neck of the bass and bolts in place, blocking off access to all but the bottom five frets. Give your favorite bass player the gift of not having to worry about soloing!