Hard to stay motivated when band breaks up

[StompBoxBlues]

It's funny. I have played in bands (mostly) since the 70's, and then at one point in the 80's just took a break, not playing at all for 5 years. After that I started playing acoustic, fingerstyle, etc, and gradually got back into electric, then the bug hit, (after I had moved to Norway) and I started having to play with people....did the open mic thing for a few months (fun but not satisfying as they do here just a few songs per player) and then got in a band that was damned good, but though we played out a few times, and they were good!, there was too little motivation and after about 6-7 years broke up.

In between acoustic and playing in bands, I had started home recording, but to my surprise it was a lot less playing and more arranging, mixing, playing instruments I am not as good on (bass, especially keyboards) etc. But I learned a lot about structure.

But in the band, I practiced like a madman...playing often an hour or so every night in addition to the band practice, sometimes playing 3 hours on some nights, and I really noticed heavy improvement.

After the band breakup I tried a few bands, but they had such a long way to go and it wasn't the same, I couldn't get "room" to play, or the response my band had where everyone worked in the same direction, etc.

Now, though I play a few times a week alone, I find myself so demotivated to actually work focused on any one thing, on particular songs (even my own).
I plan on recording some original material but (if you listen to my site on most of the songs you'll see what I mean, but they were all recorded before my breakthroughs with the band...in the band I had no time for recording at home) instead of lush with lots of padding and overdubs, my songs AS A BAND would be able to do them...a normal band, either three piece, or 4 or so. Then put out the music on the web, and then refer musicians to it to see if anyone is interested in playing that.

But...I find it really depressing sometimes not playing regularly with anyone. As you get older it gets harder to find musicians (if you have kept up your chops) around your age, at about the same level, and that have the same tastes and maybe even history in music as you do.

Just wondering if anyone else has advice, has coped with this (of course lots have, but if they have any insights to offer), ideas...

[crzyfngers]

"then the band broke up,
woo hoo,
and it looks like,
woo hoo
we will never play again"

[torgeot]

advice I wish I had some. I've been there and now doing the exact same thing. Band broke up and just not motivated to play anywhere near as much as I used to. I love practicing, but I feel I need a reson to practice. Whether I'm writing for someone or in a band, both of those give me a reasonto buckledown and practice, but I'm afraid trying to motivate yourself can be tough if you don't have a goal you're trying to reach. Maybe try to set a couple of goals for yourself in a timeframe, maybe that will help.

[mikem]

It's funny. I have played in bands (mostly) since the 70's, and then at one point in the 80's just took a break, not playing at all for 5 years. After that I started playing acoustic, fingerstyle, etc, and gradually got back into electric, then the bug hit, (after I had moved to Norway) and I started having to play with people....did the open mic thing for a few months (fun but not satisfying as they do here just a few songs per player) and then got in a band that was damned good, but though we played out a few times, and they were good!, there was too little motivation and after about 6-7 years broke up.

In between acoustic and playing in bands, I had started home recording, but to my surprise it was a lot less playing and more arranging, mixing, playing instruments I am not as good on (bass, especially keyboards) etc. But I learned a lot about structure.

But in the band, I practiced like a madman...playing often an hour or so every night in addition to the band practice, sometimes playing 3 hours on some nights, and I really noticed heavy improvement.

After the band breakup I tried a few bands, but they had such a long way to go and it wasn't the same, I couldn't get "room" to play, or the response my band had where everyone worked in the same direction, etc.

Now, though I play a few times a week alone, I find myself so demotivated to actually work focused on any one thing, on particular songs (even my own).
I plan on recording some original material but (if you listen to my site on most of the songs you'll see what I mean, but they were all recorded before my breakthroughs with the band...in the band I had no time for recording at home) instead of lush with lots of padding and overdubs, my songs AS A BAND would be able to do them...a normal band, either three piece, or 4 or so. Then put out the music on the web, and then refer musicians to it to see if anyone is interested in playing that.

But...I find it really depressing sometimes not playing regularly with anyone. As you get older it gets harder to find musicians (if you have kept up your chops) around your age, at about the same level, and that have the same tastes and maybe even history in music as you do.

Just wondering if anyone else has advice, has coped with this (of course lots have, but if they have any insights to offer), ideas...

Yup, I hear you. As far as I'm concerned, I go through peaks and valleys with music. I went through about a year and a half drought of not playing out or jamming with anybody- it gets tough to sustain interest during those periods and I have difficulty getting motivated enough to "practice". Of late, things have picked up a bit- got a couple of projects on the go, gigged in late December and am looking forward to playing out again and getting these projects (hopefully a CD will be produced out of one) on wheels. I find that I have to compromise a lot in order to play with other guys, but it's worth it to be able to play out. Things looked pretty lousy three months ago, but things have picked up for me. Hopefully, they will for you too. After thrity years of playing, I'm feeling the excitement again and am motivated to play and try new things. It's nice when you have things to work on or gigs to practice for or new tunes to work on. I find I need something to keep me interested or I spend a whole lot less time playing.

Mike

[Jon Silberman]

In my early '50's, I find myself going in the opposite direction. I began with a new band last month (we practice tonight, in fact), and have two regular jamming groups going at my place, one classic rock/blues, the other Grateful Dead. The band I met through TGP, the Dead musicians via Craiglist, and the classic rock/blues guys are decades-old friends. Were I to play any more "regularly" I'd collapse!

Once thing I've learned is that there really are a ton of musicians out there and many of them are just as ready and happy to play as you. You have to make the effort to find 'em, though, and be a team player (the latter quality is key to any long-term relationship).

[supergenius365]

For me, the hardest thing to deal with is the history or common ground you had with the old band. The little inside "jokes" you had, or the fact that the guys knew what it meant when you wiggled your hand a certain way. Knowing each others strengths and weaknesses and working with or around them. I had been playing and writing with the same guy for 20+ years. Same drummer 10+ years. Things eventually fell apart. I would like to play with some new people, but it is difficult not having the comfort of that familiarity.

[90wreck]

I just ran into an old friend after several years.(funeral).
He told me he hadn't done a gig or plugged in his electric in over 2 years and couldn't be happier.
BTW, he was known as one of the best players in central Ohio.
When he told me, I could tell he was telling the truth.
He talked very shortly about the scene/keeping the band together/crappy gigs (This is Ohio you know).
I told him he I was glad for him and he responded "It was a good run while it lasted, but I could care less to go back"
It actually made me feel pretty good about questioning my own future.
(We are both a bit older and have kids that are of school age and got a chance to sew our oates with road work and late nights for MANY years.
IME, it is harder to stay motivated after years of doing it.

[Seegs]

I kind of retired from active gigging to pursue actually earning money in 2005...have done a couple of acoustic duos etc. and a few jam sessions but no regualr band activities...do I miss it...in parts yes to a large part no...I love music and playing guitar...packing up and driving to the gigs... setting up...playing the gig...breaking down and getting home late and reflecting on the gig...I didn't always care for dealing with musos and all that involves...lack of gigs and fragile egos drove me away from fulltime music...



if I could earn enough money doing my own thing I would do it fulltime...in my downtime I have been working on developing other skill sets such as singing...playing slide and developing my own voice as a soloist as well as pre-production for a release of original music...not too mention acquiring new tools (LesPaul and 335) and integrating them into my repitoire...I have also starting teaching a few students and am beginning to love it...

I have also been getting together with a few fellow forumites and having semi-annual Euro tonefests which are a great way to exchange info. with people from different countries and cultures...I play more and enjoy playing now more than ever...

when and if I come back it will be on my own terms doing my own thing and I have to say that is at least a year away as my other professional life is starting to take off...


Chow,
Seegs

[Jazzydave]

Oh man, I've been running in and out of projects for about 16 yrs now (I'm 27) and haven't ever found that right mix. It always came down to me putting way too much into it vs. everyone else.

There were a few bands I probably should have spent more time with although I was more of a "sit in" with them. One in Minneapolis was killer...but when I went to go audition, apparently they didn't inform their lead vocalist (or me for that matter) that they were wanting me for lead guitar and front man duties. I don't think that went over well when the guy showed up and I was contemplating moving back home to TN for awhile.

Anyhow, I've been doing solo shows for years and you're right, there's just something missing in that. I've never been into the backing tracks thing although I recently got a DL4 and have been playing around with that.

After I recover from my surgery in Feb I want to seriously start recruiting for a trio. My problem is that a lot of guys my age (and younger) don't have the same tastes in music and the guys who do, and can play, are usually much older and don't have the time to get out a play a few times a week. I just want to do some local gigs for a few years until I'm freed up after my enlistment!

Its late, I'm rambling. All of that can be summed up with, "Yes, I agree." Haha

[?&!]

The singer for my last band got a great job in L.A., so he had to move. He's a great guy and there are no hard feelings, so it was an amicable breakup. This was the first band I've been in where the breakup didn't involve a fistfight, which was nice. Every other time a band I was in broke up, I would immediately start another one, mostly as an F.U. to the now ex-bandmember. Since I'm still on great terms with my last band, I didn't have the same angry motivation to jump right back in.

Instead, I turned my musical focus to teaching. I've always had students, but I picked up a bunch more after the band was over. I have a few who are pretty advanced, so I have to practice a lot to stay a couple steps ahead of them. It's both musically motivating and personally rewarding.

I don't miss playing shows right now, mostly because of my position as lead guitarist/principal songwriter/roadie/guitar tech/drum tech/manager/publicist/booking agent/chauffeur/accountant/psychiatrist would get a little tedious. But, I will inevitably be drawn back to playing live. I'm happy right now, and I think I'll probably know when the time is right to put together another band. Until then, I'm content to just practice and teach.

[franksguitar]

The hardest thing is when you've played with a great band for a number of years steady, and made good money and great reviews, big appreciative audiences Then it breaks up and everything else you either try to join is just not as musically satisfying mojo or doesn't have either the personalities, talent or the magic and you get bored. Yet, I have played some really great freelance gigs with a signed artist but it's few and far between and that has been great when it happens.