Please give comments and suggestions.

[AbstractLunatic]

Hey guys,

I'm trying to get some feedback on these songs. The recordings are meant to be demos eventually but need work. I'm interested in critiques about the song, arrangement, mix, guitar parts, and singing for 1 or all 5 songs. Hopefully you will at least tell me good, bad, or ugly :D

I have a thick skin and would really like to improve so the more the merrier.

These songs are meant to be played LOUD! Even the slow ones.

The newest song is Expressionless Girl

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/7/morganmeader_music.htm

[AbstractLunatic]

Who do I gotta sleep with around here to get some feedback?

[lhallam]

It helps if people don't have to sign up in order to hear your clips.

[AbstractLunatic]

The streaming will work but to download the mp3 you need to register.

[AbstractLunatic]

Is my post count too low?

Look guys. This rhythm guitar player wants to improve. Does anyone have a heart to give me some advice or anything at all?

[lhallam]

Originally posted by AbstractLunatic
Is my post count too low?

Look guys. This rhythm guitar player wants to improve. Does anyone have a heart to give me some advice or anything at all?

It has nothing to do with your post count I'll be glad to listen and critique but I'm too damn lazy to sign up at any website to listen to you or anyone elses clips. I get enough spam as it is.

If you want comments, you have to make it easy for people to listen. It's as simple as that.

[Jerrod]

I listened to Expressionless Girl. I liked it, except...

The lead guitar with the wah kind of jumped up in funny spots... could be the mix or could be the playing. It also seemed like it started to get on my nerves in certain spots. Maybe don't use the wah the entire time?

Also, I liked the lyrics OK, but the vocals sounded muddy and annoying to me.

Seems promising.

[AbstractLunatic]

Originally posted by Jerrod
I listened to Expressionless Girl. I liked it, except...

The lead guitar with the wah kind of jumped up in funny spots... could be the mix or could be the playing. It also seemed like it started to get on my nerves in certain spots. Maybe don't use the wah the entire time?

Also, I liked the lyrics OK, but the vocals sounded muddy and annoying to me.

Seems promising.

Thank you for the feedback guys! I was beginning to wonder if I needed to pass an initiation or something... ;)

The wah was an afterthought. I just doubled the lead track and added an envelope filter to one of them. I tried to have it in the back of the mix but didn't quite work it out. When I get my Cry Baby fixed I'll just add the wah to the chorus which is really where I want it.

My lead playing needs a lot of improvement too. Too much pentatonic, much much too slow in parts where I hear a faster phrase in my head, and not enough distinct licks to make the solo sound fresh and more importantly, to make the songs sound different in the solos. These are the things I'm working to improve. {edit}I also have to stop hiding behind the effects. So I'm playing clean much more often at home and it's getting less clammy.{/edit}

Can you give me some pointers about appropriate effects and tone settings for vocals? I sang two tracks and panned them 30% left and right. They had delay, reverb, and compression and I'm sure I was just guessing on the EQ because I'm not really sure how vocals are supposed to cut in the mix.

I'll try to get a setup where I can give a direct link to songs. Soundclick doesn't offer it and neither does .mac and I haven't really looked anywhere else... but I will now that I know soundclick requires a login( silly me I have cookies set :) )

[lhallam]

Just my opinion.

Listened to all and giving my overall impression.

Writing is good, arrangments need work.

Playing lead gtr throughout a song gets tedious.

Pentatonic licks are going to require something to make them interesting. I suggest coming up with a melody that you come back to.

Dynamics, sparse rhythm, heavy sections, harmonies and breaks are tools you can use to arrange tunes.

In other words, just strumming chords through songs with the ubiquitous lead gtr is OK, but not on every song. Come up with parts and stick to them. This is one difference between your everyday garage band and the big guys.

Intros and outros are signs of professionalism.

Lead guitar needs better bends and vibrato. Too many cliche licks, too many major second redundancies, too much scale meandering and not enough exploitation of melodic ideas.

Also note attack requires some work. Be sure NOT to bend the strings when you first hit a note as they will sound out of tune. Hit the note dead on without allowing the string to move up or down first and then add vibrato. Later as you get used to the technique you can change this.

For now, practice your scales concentrating on making each note in tune and sweet.

Use more hammer-ons, pull-offs and string muting.

Melodies are built on a number of tools. For example, melodic & rhythmic repetition, inversions, retrogrades, retro-grade inversions and the like.

When jamming, come up with a very simple 3-4 note idea and try playing the same idea as many different ways as possible. For example, down an octave, up an octave, up a scale tone then up another scale tone, faster, slower, more notes, less notes, backwards and upside down.

LEAVE SOME SPACE!!!! In other words, play your idea, then wait, play it again, wait again. Think in terms of speaking, a sentence then a paragraph, then a chapter, then a book.

Listen to the arrangements from "The Band", "The Beatles", "Led Zepplin" and early "King Crimson". Not necessarily to cop their sound but to get an idea how they didn't just strum and play leads.

Hope this helps. Keep in mind this is just one old man's opinion. I guarantee there's 30 other guys who don't agree with me at all.

[Terrell]

I'll try to get a setup where I can give a direct link to songs. Soundclick doesn't offer it

It seems that Soundclick is trying to sell me deep-linking on my band administration page:

"# Service 3 - VIP Band: custom pages, ad-free, deep-linking,... ($9.95)"

[dave s]

Link to song worked fine for me without signing up or anything.

Ok, I'm the Simon of American Idol when it comes to reviews.

One positive thing about the song is that it starts and ends and someone has written an entire song.

First off, I'll echo the other poster who said the wha wanking just doesn't fit. It's annoying after about the first 4 seconds and never goes away.

Also, the song starts nowhere, goes nowhere and ends nowhere. There is absolutely no 'hook' anywhere aside from the 3 chord chromatic 'connecter' between what I believe are the verses and chorus. And that part shows up WAY too many times to be anything but overdone.

The vocal range of about 3 notes either side of the key of the song is droning and monotonous.

Here are some suggestions to consider that might improve the song from an arrangement perspective:

1) Look for ways to work the wha guitar parts between vocal lines (instead of stomping all over the lead vocals) and just at the right time and probably not more than a handful of times throughout the entire song.

2) Write a bridge for the song that is different than the verses and chorus and let the vocalist stretch out a bit.

3) Maybe add a hard stop or two somewhere in the song and take the listener back to the intro, then send the song somewhere completely different for a few moments. It's kind of like an unexpected 'twist in the story's plot.'

4) Varying at least the bass part would lend some more interesting 'texture' to the song. Inexperienced bass players think they have to follow exactly what the rhythm guitar is playing. Not so. Bass lines are always a way to make the song more interesting.

5) If the chorus part is the same words over and over, (she's an expressionless girl) your singer might be using the same melody to convey that thought, but the chorus may be another opportunity to add some interest by varying the melody line or the point of entry or exit in terms of timing.

And just so you don't think I'm a complete idiot, send me a PE and I'll attach a couple of my originals that I feel are arranged pretty well. Different kind of music, but my songs contain the same basic instrumentation and vocals as your song.

Don't mean to be a jerk, but I wrote an honest review for you and tried to lend some constructive suggestions.

dave

[r9player]

My 2cts overall I liked the song and the instruments (I am not that technical or anything so I can't comment on solos intros finish etc too much)
Intro was a little bland perhaps?
Personally liked the wah it's .. different but sometimes cuts through too much.
I personally didn't care for the vocals.
1. vocals seem muddled
2. "emotion" of vocals didn't seem to match the instrumental parts - singer sounded either depressed or too controlled and perhaps not using max vocal ability/expression?

[AbstractLunatic]

These are exactly the kind of posts that will help me improve guys. Thanks so much! I am truly looking for that kind of real advice.

Please keep the posts coming. Don't worry about me... I have a thick skin.

Whew! I've got a lot to work on. :D

Any advice on effects and/or EQ settings for vocals? I'm lost with recording vocals.