Gibson Firebird X - update!

[FatTeleTom]

It appears Gibson is doing some further tweaking on the much-anticipated (cough) Firebird X. Saw an ad link on a webcomic site and had to click on it--takes you to this:

http://www2.gibson.com/News-Lifestyle/Shared/Firebird-X-Update.aspx

[Jahn]

Hey, if Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark can survive its horrific preview debut and manage to get kudos in its actual run, who knows what can happen with the Firebird X. That said, the updates will be MORE "functionality" on this thing? What are they going to install next, a coffee machine?

[Elias Graves]

Coffee would be nice.

EG

[VicAjax]

is it just me, or are the pickups crooked on this one? or maybe it's just an optical illusion from the "blue vomit" finish? :huh

http://images.gibson.com.s3.amazonaws.com/Products/Electric-Guitars/Firebird/Gibson-USA/Firebird-X/Splash-08.jpg

[silvertone1481]

It's so ugly that those unfortunate enough to look at it for extended periods of time begin to cry an subsequently drown in their own tears.

[EricPeterson]

So the revolution is on back order?

[A-Bone]

is it just me, or are the pickups crooked on this one? or maybe it's just an optical illusion from the "blue vomit" finish? :huh

http://images.gibson.com.s3.amazonaws.com/Products/Electric-Guitars/Firebird/Gibson-USA/Firebird-X/Splash-08.jpg

That guitar makes me nervous and a little woozy.

[nationalnate77]

I wish Gibson would put their "creative energy" into making sure the regular ol' Firebirds ship with a nut that is properly cut or tuners that don't slip out of tune all of the time.

Maybe they can at least squeeze in a coffee grinder or a GPS below the neck pickup somewhere. Terrible guitar...

[zestystrat]

It's so ugly that those unfortunate enough to look at it for extended periods of time begin to cry an subsequently drown in their own tears.

They should put that on the one-sheet when they sell it....or as a surgeon general's warning.

[dougk]

they still haven't shipped that freaking thing yet?

[Sandy Cheeks]

You have to hand it to them, have you ever seem more polish applied to a turd?

[EricPeterson]

That guitar makes me nervous and a little woozy.

Reminds me of the smell of rental shoes and stale beer.

[fisticuffs]

....but but but it's got Apps! Everyone lives apps right? This guitar has them. Poor Gibson must have too much cheddar invested in this to hit the abort button.

[ScottR]

Firewood X

[harpinon]

Needs an ash tray and a beer holder too.
I'm thinking on stage might be an awkward place to grind coffee, though.

[harpinon]

Firewood X

:rotflmao:rotflmao:rotflmao

[Funkwire]

So they got rid of the inlays and put the 'Flood' (AKA 'bowling ball') finish on it?

You can put lipstick on a pig, but...it's still a pig.

Love the fine print at the bottom of the webpage:

"All descriptions are subject to change until the guitar ships."

[_jt_]

they still haven't shipped that freaking thing yet?

Maybe they are finding it difficult to ship it without any orders.

[silvertone1481]

It's like these things:

"Here are three quality disguised weapons that I think you will love:

http://dontevenreply.com/images/glock.JPG

At first glance, this looks like a normal party cup. However, if you look close enough, you will see that it is really a fully automatic Glock 18C. You will be able to pour your enemies a nice warm cup of lead with this fine purchase. Asking $900 for the gun/cup combo.

http://dontevenreply.com/images/m16.JPG

Still thirsty for justice? Try this badass M16A2 disguised as a 24-pack of soda. The box has two finely crafted holes on each side to allow for any kind of optics (not included) that you wish to attach. This weapon is only for sale if you have a Class III permit.

http://dontevenreply.com/images/m3.JPG

This cleverly disguised weapon may look like a tissue box, but is actually a Benelli M3 12 gauge shotgun disguised as a tissue box. The ultra-soft quilted tissues serve as a comfortable grip on the pump-action shotgun. Also, if you find yourself sneezing during the heat of combat, you will have a handy tissue box ready for action. Asking $1500 for the weapon. Additional tissue boxes are an extra $5 per box."

Supposed to be versatile, but....not.

EDIT: I got these from dontevenreply.com

[Sandy Cheeks]

Firewood X

Firebird Retch

[rcl]

I looks like a toy. The buzz lightyear gibson wankateer. Everything I like about my gibsons-that guitar has none of it.

[_jt_]

http://images.gibson.com.s3.amazonaws.com/Products/Electric-Guitars/Firebird/Gibson-USA/Firebird-X/Splash-08.jpg

Why are the brush strokes of the X upside down?

[sksmith66]

it's really not that complicated to fix this guitar. all they need to do is change the bowling ball finish for a nice burst, change the silly metal truss rod cover for a standard cover, change the fretboard to rosewood, change the inlays to standard block inlyas, remove the metal switch plates, make the switch tips all match, change the knobs so that they all match, change the stop tail to something not hideous, change the control layout to something that makes sense, and then the guitar is perfectly fine.

see it's an easy fix.


:sarcasm

[_jt_]

http://www2.gibson.com/News-Lifestyle/Shared/Firebird-X-Update.aspx

Let's see what that link has to say:


After a very successful performance and some great consumer feedback at last week’s(1) European debut of the Firebird X at Musikmesse in Germany, Gibson is taking advantage of the unlimited capabilities(2) of the instrument and is exploring additional functionality on the guitar suggested by players and dealers(3). This will delay shipment, but everyone at Gibson is absolutely committed to making sure that when we ship the Firebird X it is the world’s ultimate guitar(4). Stay tuned at Gibson.com, where we will post an updated release date shortly.

1. Musikmesse was in April. It is now June. Last week was still June.
2. Awesome! I could also use an espresso.
3. The guitar was suggested by players and dealers? "functionality on"? What?
4. Since this is the world's ultimate guitar, is Gibson going to stop making all other guitars?

I think the marketing department should have Powerpointless meetings about English and writing ad/web copy.

[FatTeleTom]

I really do think it's the aesthetics that are the big hurdle here. I suppose there's a market for a guitar that looks like that, but not in the $5,500 MSRP range. Perhaps not in the $500 MSRP range.

And, man, I just tried to read the section describing the (user-upgradable) "Engine". Yikes. Are the "tog pots" new since when this thing was first announced? I don't remember those. Can't imagine what it would cost to replace a broken "tog pot", or how difficult it would be to use such a thing.

And the insane marketing-speak is all over that "engine" page--references to "Pure Analog" (as opposed to "sterile" digital mathematics), and so on.

Granted, I wouldn't want to be the person tasked with creating the marketing copy for this thing, but it seems to me they need a much less hype-infused approach for something like this project.

Just so much to shake your head at.....

[iainmc]

Wow, The Firebrid X has retail price of $5570. Wow.

http://www2.gibson.com/Products/Electric-Guitars/Firebird/Gibson-USA/Firebird-X.aspx

On one side, i think its great they are thinking outside the box with regards to the technology.

But i won't ever get over the look. For a Comany that makes many fine looking & playing instruments, why would they introduce this stuff in such a polarizing package? Its like the Dust Tiger - it could have been a fine looking guitar & much less polarizing without the chrome bits on the body.

I know i will spend some time looking at this guitar because of the technology. I know i will never purchase it because the of look of the guitar.

/i

[OldSchool]

Why are the brush strokes on the X upside down?


Thats the Optional Reverse "X" model.............:barf

[mattymel]

the next CEO should start off his reign by smashing THAT guitar onstage while unveiling the next line of guitars with well cut nuts.

-also 175s and 335s made with resonant lighter woods
-PAFs that sound like PAFs
good bridges and ABRs

...then we would be getting somewhere. Mr "J"ackass has gotta go.

[OldSchool]

This Has "MUSCIANS FRIEND STUPID DEAL OF THE DAY $399" written all over it........just be patient.

[OldSchool]

the next CEO should start off his reign by smashing THAT guitar onstage while unveiling the next line of guitars with well cut nuts.

-also 175s and 335s made with resonant lighter woods
-PAFs that sound like PAFs
good bridges and ABRs

...then we would be getting somewhere. Mr "J"ackass has gotta go.


The only well cut Nuts should be Henry's...........:barf

[Jahn]

Kinda reminds me of the worst Olympic mascot you can imagine, like Izzy?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Izzy_(mascot)

http://www.awn.com/mag/issue1.4/images/Izzy/izzy1.gif

[silvertone1481]

Why are the brush strokes of the X upside down?

They're not brush storkes, they're what was found in a diaper left in a men's bathroom stall at Gibson's "Custom Shop." Rumor has that Mr. Juskewicklewicjubugflogbjitzskivicz left it there. Just a rumor, though.

[Scott Auld]

http://images.gibson.com.s3.amazonaws.com/Products/Electric-Guitars/Firebird/Gibson-USA/Firebird-X/Splash-08.jpg


What that guitar right there needs is another toggle switch.

[mattymel]

i think it should have a neon sign that reads "Rock n Roll! Yeehaw!" and it should come with a Barbie doll. so she can play it.

[dspellman]

Coffee would be nice.

EG

Absolutely.
In fact, I'm thinking that this would be exactly what would be needed to save the thing.
Tap into that SteamPunk Vibe, pop out a good latte or cap and I'd give it some thought.

[scr@tchy]

That guitar makes me nervous and a little woozy.

If they just made this a normal guitar without the effects and um apps it would have been nice. Then offer basic finishes along with those magiky ones and some basic pickup options... I would get a natural or blonde one with two p90s, or a gold top. They have the volume knob in the right place, unless that is an app scroller... What is up Gibson?

In a related whine, I really don't enjoy their website navigation at all. I was trying to learn about the guitar's features and just ended up giving up. I am not internet challenged by any stretch, I just felt like when I was looking at their site that I was talking to an idiot.

[dspellman]

What that guitar right there needs is another toggle switch.

And in a different color, so that you could tell it from the others. And maybe another roadmap sign around it. You know, we always missed out on the pickup switch on the Red Poulfuss guitars because you could only ever fit Rhyme and Tribbles on them. How cool would it have been to have a big flashy sign like these have that you could put "Hi Yo Silver" and "Get'em Up Scout" ... or maybe "Head Around The Back, Pat" and "Sing us a song, Dale" on them? Right now you can do "Buck" and "Ming", "George" and "Gracie", "Oh Ricky" and "Oh Lucy", maybe "Booth" and "Bones."

I think the back of the neck is underutilized. A switch in the volute would give that idle left hand something to do besides just fret notes. If people have enough time to grab the headstock to do neck bends, they've got enough time to twirl a rotary switch with their thumbs and flick a miniswitch or two with a free finger.

And if we can put TV screens in our SUVs that play movies for the guy that's tailgating us, why isn't there a nice little iPhone-quality screen on the upper boat so that we can, say, catch up on old episodes of Dancing With The Stars while we're shoegazing, or playing wedding casuals or Samba Party gigs at Stevens' Steakhouse.

[dspellman]

I just felt like when I was looking at their site that I was talking to an idiot.

Sort of. If Henry can't figure it out, it doesn't go up.

[silvertone1481]

Sort of. If Henry can't figure it out, it doesn't go up.

But he can figure out the apps on the Firebird X????!!!!????!!!!

[dspellman]

But he can figure out the apps on the Firebird X????!!!!????!!!!

So far just one app. The On/Off app.

I can see app developers sitting around their conference tables planning apps. "Okay, we have a choice, here. We can develop an app for AndroidIphones with several million potential buyers, or we can develop one for the twenty-one delivered Firebird X's at Gibson. Anyone? Anyone? Beuhler? Anyone?"

[big jilm]

Seriously, that is the ugliest guitar I have ever seen. What are they thinking? It has no redeeming features. Some of the coolest looking guitars ever built - 335, Les Paul, Explorer, SG - and then they do this?

[choucas09]

I think everybody is being a little hard on this guitar, the strap buttons look great.

[Jahn]

All kidding aside - seriously, Gibson. Stop it. This guitar is NOT going to be your flagship guitar that lures guitarists to the cash register. Please take it off your website's front page, it's embarassing. Stick a '59 Paul on there with flames to melt your eyeballs and you'll do just fine.

[Steve73]

Firebird Retch

Very nice! For me though, it will always be the Fireturd.

http://www.habitables.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/simps.gif

[_jt_]

the next CEO ...

:rotflmao

[guzman]

Mac guys will love this guitar.

[V-P]

Does it have an autoplay function?

[Pfeister]

I haven't followed the Firebird X mockery as much as some people, so this might have been said before.

Did anybody else think of the Homer car when they saw this thing? Not only does their design process seem similar, but it got about the same reaction when it was unveiled.
http://onscreencars.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/TheHomer-300x171.jpg
http://onscreencars.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/the-homer.jpg

[FatTeleTom]

What that guitar right there needs is another toggle switch.

Ah, you are forgetting: those are not toggle switches.

They are Tog Pots.

Seriously--the shaft of the toggle switch is a rotating knob, at least I think that's what this is saying (note picture of, er, tog pot):

http://www2.gibson.com/Products/Electric-Guitars/Firebird/Gibson-USA/Firebird-X/The-Engine.aspx

[V-P]

I haven't followed the Firebird X mockery as much as some people, so this might have been said before.

Did anybody else think of the Homer car when they saw this thing? Not only does their design process seem similar, but it got about the same reaction when it was unveiled.
http://onscreencars.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/TheHomer-300x171.jpg
http://onscreencars.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/the-homer.jpg

Gibson Guitars CEO Henry J Simpson!

[mattoo31287]

Mac guys will love this guitar.

I have a Mac, and this guitar just makes me facepalm

[Sandy Cheeks]

It's also dragging the name "Firebird" in the mud. Real Gibson Firebirds are way cool.

[silvertone1481]

It's also grading the name "Firebird" in the mud. Real Gibson Firebirds are way cool.

Yeah. I can't picture Johnny Winter with this POS.

[Jahn]

on the other hand, Johnny's been known to not really mind about the guitar's stud factor much:

http://gabrielpalmaguitar.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/johnny_winter.jpg

[tsar nicholas]

Why are the brush strokes of the X upside down?

Done by an acrobat in flight?

[Sandy Cheeks]

Are upstrokes really that hard to imagine in the context of the Firebird X?

[V-Type]

Silly guitar. Way to much going on both aesthetically as well as functionality.
Then ad the nutz pricing on this and well you have another "winner" from the top of ol Gibson.
Im not sure why they feel the need too incorporate all the add on's and such as well as the Erie Dess finishes but hey Im sure a few folks might be willing too plop 3K+ just too be different.

[kleydj13]

I'd love to talk to somebody who purchases one of these...if there are any to be found.

[VicAjax]

Mac guys will love this guitar.

hmmm...

ugly
too many lights and knobs and buttons and switches
prone to delays
bright blue

this thing is definitely a PC.

[Virtual Pariah]

This is never coming out.
It's Henry's white whale.

[picknpluck]

....just watch, The Black Crowes, Joe Bonamassa and John Mayer will start playing them and soon everybody on the TGP will be clamoring for one! This will be a common sight on the emporium: "WTT My '59 LP Burst for your Firebird X":crazyguy

[memiller]

The electronics make my gadget pants go crazy. What the hell they were thinking putting it in a Firebird with a wibbly finish is beyond me. That's pure crapotanium.

I'd love to have the electronics in a guitar I gave a rat's ass about.

[kwaping]

These Firebird X threads are always comedy gold. I'm totally LOLing here. :D

[Jahn]

Oh. My. Jimmy Vivino is playing the Firebird X on Conan O'Brien. From last night, just watched it on DVR. He featured it for the "Name that Tune" bit. It was the red swirl version. Oh. My.

[mattymel]

why couldnt that thing come about in the 80s when it might actually have been accepted?

then maybe we could get back to trying to make things like they did in the 50s...

what? how does that makes sense? sad...

[Elias Graves]

And in a different color, so that you could tell it from the others. And maybe another roadmap sign around it. You know, we always missed out on the pickup switch on the Red Poulfuss guitars because you could only ever fit Rhyme and Tribbles on them. How cool would it have been to have a big flashy sign like these have that you could put "Hi Yo Silver" and "Get'em Up Scout" ... or maybe "Head Around The Back, Pat" and "Sing us a song, Dale" on them? Right now you can do "Buck" and "Ming", "George" and "Gracie", "Oh Ricky" and "Oh Lucy", maybe "Booth" and "Bones."

I think the back of the neck is underutilized. A switch in the volute would give that idle left hand something to do besides just fret notes. If people have enough time to grab the headstock to do neck bends, they've got enough time to twirl a rotary switch with their thumbs and flick a miniswitch or two with a free finger.

And if we can put TV screens in our SUVs that play movies for the guy that's tailgating us, why isn't there a nice little iPhone-quality screen on the upper boat so that we can, say, catch up on old episodes of Dancing With The Stars while we're shoegazing, or playing wedding casuals or Samba Party gigs at Stevens' Steakhouse.

Nah. Use that screen to display tabs.

EG

[treeofpain]

What, no ipod dock?

[Hecube]

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-M9GrBdmDzDc/Tfl_EWGQLfI/AAAAAAAAEKI/M5G12A5iqeo/Firebird.jpg

With Gibson, it's not just the guitar design team that's broken, it's the marketing team. What's that on the website? A guy with breasts? A girl with a guy's head? What's the target demographic here? Paragender guitar players?

[Sanjuro]

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-M9GrBdmDzDc/Tfl_EWGQLfI/AAAAAAAAEKI/M5G12A5iqeo/Firebird.jpg

With Gibson, it's not just the guitar design team that's broken, it's the marketing team. What's that on the website? A guy with breasts? A girl with a guy's head? What's the target demographic here? Paragender guitar players?

Maybe the Firebird X causes gynecomastia? Dude's got a rack.

[mattymel]

thats a pretty wicked Eb5(b9) though. jazzy!

[Hecube]

So... is that a girl or a guy? I'm not decided yet...

[_jt_]

thats a pretty wicked Eb5(b9) though. jazzy!

There's an App for that.

[Steve73]

Okay, who wants to join my Fireturd swarm!! You can't make this stuff up!

Incite a Revolution Swarm and Win a Firebird X! (http://www2.gibson.com/Products/Electric-Guitars/Firebird/Gibson-USA/Firebird-X/Swarm.aspx)

[_jt_]

With Gibson, it's not just the guitar design team that's broken, it's the marketing team.

From Gibson's crack pipe site (http://www2.gibson.com/Products/Electric-Guitars/Firebird/Gibson-USA/Firebird-X/The-Engine.aspx):

Turbo Charged "Pure-Analog™" Engine

"Using our secret Pure-Analog™ sauce, gives the player professional analog sound."

http://images.gibson.com.s3.amazonaws.com/Products/Electric-Guitars/Firebird/Gibson-USA/Firebird-X/Features-Images-New/Features-Engine.jpg


lolwut?

Imma go post this on the stupid terms thread.

[Sweetfinger]

http://cdn.mos.musicradar.com/images/Product%20News/Guitar/april11/gibson-big/firebirdx-460-100-460-70.jpg
I mean..... it's like, .... slow motion chicken rape.

[_jt_]

Okay, who wants to join my Fireturd swarm!! You can't make this stuff up!

Incite a Revolution Swarm and Win a Firebird X! (http://www2.gibson.com/Products/Electric-Guitars/Firebird/Gibson-USA/Firebird-X/Swarm.aspx)

Wow! I thought that was a joke until I saw the address bar said the domain was gibson.com.

[walterw]

"we have no clue how to market this thing! maybe you do!"

[tsar nicholas]

Oh my G_d

"And we're inviting our fellow revolutionaries out there to join us…and possibly win a very cool prize."

I knew it! Castro was just after the VERY COOL PRIZES

[sleepingtiger]

I love Firebirds. I love coffee. If it had a coffee maker, it would probably spew out some decaf, soy swill. Hasn't Gibson figured out yet, that guitarists love technology...but not in or on our guitars! Other than simple switching that provides useful tones, keep the tech AFTER the guitar output jack.
The fact that they call it a Firebird, is the ultimate insult to my sensibilities. Wanna make the ultimate Firebird? Get the pickups right!....which SHOULD be simple....make them like you did 48 years ago.:horse...idiots....

Tony

[The Last Rebel]

Oh my G_d

"And we're inviting our fellow revolutionaries out there to join us…and possibly win a very cool prize."

I knew it! Castro was just after the VERY COOL PRIZES
Lenin, did he overthrow tsarist Russia to institute socialism and stop the exploitation of the proletariat? NO, HE WANTED VERY COOL PRIZES!

[Chikn]

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-M9GrBdmDzDc/Tfl_EWGQLfI/AAAAAAAAEKI/M5G12A5iqeo/Firebird.jpg

It would seem the primary demographic will be lesbians.

[The Last Rebel]

From Gibson's crack pipe site (http://www2.gibson.com/Products/Electric-Guitars/Firebird/Gibson-USA/Firebird-X/The-Engine.aspx):


lolwut?

Imma go post this on the stupid terms thread.

So is it a car? A computer? A guitar? A horrible crime against humanity? A gigantic piece of shit? We need answers Gibson!

[MickeyJi]

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-M9GrBdmDzDc/Tfl_EWGQLfI/AAAAAAAAEKI/M5G12A5iqeo/Firebird.jpg

It would seem the primary demographic will be lesbians.

:D ... LOL, it certainly looks like it!

[VicAjax]

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-M9GrBdmDzDc/Tfl_EWGQLfI/AAAAAAAAEKI/M5G12A5iqeo/Firebird.jpg

It would seem the primary demographic will be lesbians.

who look like Justin Bieber (http://lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com/).

[chandlerman]

It would seem the primary demographic will be lesbians.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[thehikingdude]

They just announced the new release date!! :p

04/01/2012

[Jahn]

What's sad is the Swarm market push started last year. Haven't heard a peep about any local swarms. Does that mean the revolution won't be televised?

It all makes sense now. Get this revolutionary a Firebird X!

http://www.doobybrain.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/justin-bieber-black-flag.jpg

[_jt_]

The Revolution is based on "new universal standards" which take some time to establish I guess.

[VicAjax]

The Revolution is based on "new universal standards" which take some time to establish I guess.

sort of like the "new universal standards" of Betamax and 8-track? :dunno

[imsilly]

It's like these things:

"Here are three quality disguised weapons that I think you will love:

http://dontevenreply.com/images/glock.JPG

At first glance, this looks like a normal party cup. However, if you look close enough, you will see that it is really a fully automatic Glock 18C. You will be able to pour your enemies a nice warm cup of lead with this fine purchase. Asking $900 for the gun/cup combo.

http://dontevenreply.com/images/m16.JPG

Still thirsty for justice? Try this badass M16A2 disguised as a 24-pack of soda. The box has two finely crafted holes on each side to allow for any kind of optics (not included) that you wish to attach. This weapon is only for sale if you have a Class III permit.

http://dontevenreply.com/images/m3.JPG

This cleverly disguised weapon may look like a tissue box, but is actually a Benelli M3 12 gauge shotgun disguised as a tissue box. The ultra-soft quilted tissues serve as a comfortable grip on the pump-action shotgun. Also, if you find yourself sneezing during the heat of combat, you will have a handy tissue box ready for action. Asking $1500 for the weapon. Additional tissue boxes are an extra $5 per box."

Supposed to be versatile, but....not.

EDIT: I got these from dontevenreply.com

Why is it so many guns turn up on guitar forums?

WTF do guns and guitars have to do with each other?

[tsar nicholas]

So is it a car? A computer? A guitar? A horrible crime against humanity? A gigantic piece of shit? We need answers Gibson!

I think that Faith No More's "Epic" was prophetically written about this thing







p.s. I love how the put a comma between the two words in "form factor" -- guess they couldn't squeeze a copy editor into the budget

[dcooper830]

I'm probably the biggest Gibson fanboy there is.

And even I hate this thing.

[Hecube]

Why is it so many guns turn up on guitar forums?

WTF do guns and guitars have to do with each other?

Because they're made of wood and metal and people have irrational feelings toward them?

[TeleFromHelly]

That swarm contest is the worst idea I have ever heard of. They are seriously out of touch with reality. Besides, you have to get a swarm of people and only you get one of those ugly guitars?

[VicAjax]

That swarm contest is the worst idea I have ever heard of. They are seriously out of touch with reality. Besides, you have to get a swarm of people and only you get one of those ugly guitars?

you've gotta give these guys credit for doing their best to make it look like more than 7 people were at the bar:

2kK5KezyVLo

[Steve73]

you've gotta give these guys credit for doing their best to make it look like more than 7 people were at the bar:
2kK5KezyVLo

:facepalm

[MisterTV]

Instead of a coffee maker, maybe it could come with a soda fountain that dispenses New Coke and Crystal Pepsi.

[schristie]

My 11 year old thinks it looks really cool...here was the conversation.

Her: sure I'd buy one, how much is it.
Me: thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars.
Her: what, no way, I'd pay like 20 bucks for it.
Me: save your $20 you will be able to get one in a couple of years for $10.

[_jt_]

Instead of a coffee maker, maybe it could come with a soda fountain that dispenses New Coke and Crystal Pepsi.

"Enjoy some Coke and Crystal for a True Analog Standard Revolution Generation of Universal Turbo Swarm Engines. What does it mean? You tell us!"

[harpinon]

It should be called the Gibson Firewood X.

[spamsponge]

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-M9GrBdmDzDc/Tfl_EWGQLfI/AAAAAAAAEKI/M5G12A5iqeo/Firebird.jpg

With Gibson, it's not just the guitar design team that's broken, it's the marketing team. What's that on the website? A guy with breasts? A girl with a guy's head? What's the target demographic here? Paragender guitar players?

Maybe Gibson can get Pat
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/99/Itispat.jpg
and Phil X as a team for their demo videos...

[Gretsch6136]

I think there's actually some method in the madness here.....

Remember in the '80s when Pepsi was making serious inroads to Coke's market leadership? Coke decided to bring out New Coke and planned to axe Old Coke.

The consumers went mental. New Coke was discontinued and Old Coke regained its lost market share, and Pepsi was the loser.

Now how about this....Gibson releases the Firebird X with loads of marketing and PR support. Next they announce the old fashioned Les Paul is to be discontinued. Consumers go ballistic, demand the guitar stays in production. Gibson goes with the flow, axes the Firebird X and Gibson regains lost market share due to the publicity and the re-ignited interest in the Les Paul.

Just my 2 cents!

[danelectro]

I'd say this would be unlikely if they offered him a million bucks to endorse it
http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p81/dynasonic/FirebirdXPage655.jpg

[Hecube]

I'd say this would be unlikely if they offered him a million bucks to endorse it
http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p81/dynasonic/FirebirdXPage655.jpg

Ack

[Live Wire]

Maybe it just needs to be paired with the right amp. ;)

http://theguitarbuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/prsamps.png

[CyberFerret]

you've gotta give these guys credit for doing their best to make it look like more than 7 people were at the bar:

2kK5KezyVLo

Well, that was definitely NOT the Gibson marketing team in that video. I don't think any of their marketing people have EVER been to a bar to hear a band play live, or even actually PLAYED a guitar in their lives... Heck, they've probably never even SEEN an actual guitar, ever!

[_jt_]

Well, that was definitely NOT the Gibson marketing team in that video. I don't think any of their marketing people have EVER been to a bar to hear a band play live, or even actually PLAYED a guitar in their lives... Heck, they've probably never even SEEN an actual guitar, ever!

Yeah, that video was shot by one of the swarms.

[mslugano]

on the other hand, Johnny's been known to not really mind about the guitar's stud factor much:

http://gabrielpalmaguitar.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/johnny_winter.jpg

Is it just me or do his fingers, especially left hand, look like they came from Alien? Creepy.

Sorry, back to laughing at Gibson.

[mslugano]

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

OMG this thread delivers!!:rotflmao

[straycat113]

Coming soon, they have been saying this for ages now. I dont think they realized it already went.

[joey3f]

Goodness.

I didn't know about this guitar. Until today.

Now I'm going to shit in a box and sent it to Gibson.

Gibson, you have an image and a heritage that other companies would kill for, what the f*** are you doing? Ted McCarty must be rolling in his grave....

".... Tread softly because you tread on my dreams."

[andrekp]

I got no problem with how the guitar looks. Hey, it's not for me (I think it's ugly), but who am I to judge. There are a LOT of very ugly guitars that people have bought and loved over the years. Look at all those hideous Ibenez guitars that shredders have bought over the years.

The problem is the "concept" behind this thing. JUST MAKE A DECENT FRIGGIN' GUITAR, GIBSON!!!!. If the "fixed" the minor problems they have in their current production (i.e. badly cut nuts) and lowered the price to reasonable levels (maybe Fender American + 20%), they would sell so many damn guitars that they wouldn't need crap like this to try to restore their bottom line.

[Gray]

Gibson is applying the age-old metality that, if you say it enough times, it becomes true.

[RedTiger]

Look at all those hideous Ibenez guitars that shredders have bought over the years.

1. It's spelled 'Ibanez'.

2. Please do not compare the Firebird X in any way to anything FujiGen Gakki has ever produced. They do not belong in the same category. If they actuallywere, Gibson wouldn't be having it's name dragged through the mud in this thread.

/rant

[joey3f]

1. It's spelled 'Ibanez'.

2. Please do not compare the Firebird X in any way to anything FujiGen Gakki has ever produced. They do not belong in the same category. If they actuallywere, Gibson wouldn't be having it's name dragged through the mud in this thread.

/rant

+1.

[Funky Chicken]

What I really don't get about the Firebird X is where the thing even CAME from.
Who is asking for these features? What kind of market research did they do to end up with this design and concept?
If you plan to introduce a new Gibson guitar and price it at $5500 list, why base the design on ANY Firebird, let alone a non-reverse one, the most uncool of all Firebirds?
If you decide that in fact it is a Firebird, where is the Firebird headstock?
Do all the switches really need to look like they were sourced from different vendors over a few decades?
If the technology in this thing actually turns out to be cool and something people want to check out, it's still not going to sell.

[Scott Auld]

Ah, you are forgetting: those are not toggle switches.

They are Tog Pots.

Seriously--the shaft of the toggle switch is a rotating knob, at least I think that's what this is saying (note picture of, er, tog pot):

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5233/5842355349_1f9be35ba1_o.jpg

What happens if I want to play the Comp and Dist at the same time?

Seriously, I never get this desire to put effects inside a guitar. Musicians are not alike enough to want the same things. It's a bad idea.

http://www2.gibson.com/Products/Electric-Guitars/Firebird/Gibson-USA/Firebird-X/The-Engine.aspx

There are 21 uses of the word 'analog' on that site. Insane.

Okay, who wants to join my Fireturd swarm!! You can't make this stuff up!

:facepalm what are they thinking.

"And we're inviting our fellow revolutionaries out there to join us…and possibly win a very cool prize."

I LOL'D for real.

Why is it so many guns turn up on guitar forums?

WTF do guns and guitars have to do with each other?

The guns are necessary to kill the very ugly, useless guitars.

[RedTiger]

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p81/dynasonic/FirebirdXPage655.jpg

LOL. I just caught this. Someone needs to make this their forum avatar. Better yet, make it their avatar at the Les Paul Forum. :stir

[M55ikael]

Firewood X

Lol. The electronics might actually be interesting, though more than superflous. But I just can't get over the fact that it's the ugliest guitar I've ever seen and I wouldn't dream of paying over $500 for it even if it was the best guitar in the world.

[dspellman]

Maybe it just needs to be paired with the right amp. ;)

http://theguitarbuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/prsamps.png

That amp is also available encrusted with Swarovsky Crystal and accompanied by a tiny dog guaranteed to be related to one of those owned by Paris Hilton. Available for your consideration is the Nubian Slave option, wherein four glistening muscular black guys will haul you and the amp to gigs. Notice that it may be replaced by The Four Glistening Transgender Persons option for some environments, with city by city availability described on the website.

[dspellman]

They just announced the new release date!! :p

04/01/2012

Is that based on the Mayan Calendar for The End Of Life As We Know It Or That We Give A Shit About?

Are the dolphins packing and thanking us for all the fish? Do I need to have my towel handy?

[dspellman]

So... is that a girl or a guy? I'm not decided yet...

There's an App for that, too.

[Hecube]

LOL. I just caught this. Someone needs to make this their forum avatar. Better yet, make it their avatar at the Les Paul Forum. :stir

I'm on it.

[_jt_]

What does this mean?

The heart of this high-performance beast is a high-performance multi-processor from Freescale. This is the same chip family used in ProTools systems, except this engine is the latest and greatest and overpowers older Pro Tools set-ups.

So.... this "multi-processor" is the "same chip family used" for ProTools, "except" this same multi-processor chip family is not the same? it is newer and better than the older chip families?

What is the difference between "systems" and "set-ups" in "ProTools systems" and "Pro Tools set-ups" except for the space between "Pro" and "Tools"?

[_jt_]

They just announced the new release date!! :p

04/01/2012

April Fool's Day

[todaystomorrow]

Why does this revolution keep getting delayed? I'm so ready to show all you luddites what a true guitar is capable of.... In all fairness, I believe I remember hearing that the Flying V was announced in 1949 only to be released a decade later ;)

... or maybe they need at least 10 people on the pre-order list before they can start actual production....

[M55ikael]

What does this mean?



So.... this "multi-processor" is the "same chip family used" for ProTools, "except" this same multi-processor chip family is not the same? it is newer and better than the older chip families?

What is the difference between "systems" and "set-ups" in "ProTools systems" and "Pro Tools set-ups" except for the space between "Pro" and "Tools"?

Much of this text doesn't make sense at all. The worst part is how they've actually trademarked their "Pure Analog" engine when it clearly isn't analogue.

What systems are they referring to anyway? The only multi-core processor in my PT 9 system is the intel processor in my Macbook Pro.

[todaystomorrow]

The only multi core processor in my PT 9 system is the intel processor on my Macbook Pro.

So with this guitar and my dual-core MacBook I will finally be able to say that I've upgraded to a quad-core recording rig?

[underhillaccount]

"Using our secret Pure-Analog™ sauce..."

Really??
http://www.thegearpage.net/board/data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAABIAAAASCAIAAAD ZrBkAAAAATUlEQVQokWNgGGDw/z86IlkDYf0E9WDXiSxEpoXE6sRUjUcnAXswdRLrQqxs9MDAoxp dDxofl2ewu5PIMCQ/xrFoIEYnOVZRyZGkagMA6tluoCHi1swAAAAASUVORK5CYII=

[_jt_]

So with this guitar and my dual-core MacBook I will finally be able to say that I've upgraded to a quad-core recording rig?

Close. The combination would yield a high performance multi-multi processor from different high performance families that aren't the same as MacBook setups... but are better than Mac Book systems, which are the same.

[todaystomorrow]

Close. The combination would yield a high performance multi-multi processor from different high performance families that aren't the same as MacBook setups... but are better than Mac Book systems, which are the same.

:huh

but it'll still tune itself right?

[Live Wire]

:huh

but it'll still tune itself right?

Yes, it will still tune itself. The bad news about these guitars is that any bad notes get sent straight to your twitter feed.

[todaystomorrow]

Yes, it will still tune itself. The bad news about these guitars is that any bad notes get sent straight to your twitter feed.

That is bad news....

more bad news: most clubs I play don't have a wifi connection so I will have to shell out more for the 3G version. ATT or Verizon? Maybe Gibson will be kind enough to offer some smaller carriers like Boost Mobile and Cricket...

[Hecube]

LOL. I just caught this. Someone needs to make this their forum avatar. Better yet, make it their avatar at the Les Paul Forum. :stir

Check this out...

http://www.lespaulforum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=2272840#post2272840

[Hecube]

Not much of a response here or there...

[Live Wire]

Not much of a response here or there...

I think it's subtlety is lost on some of the ham-fisted goons who read these threads.

[tsar nicholas]

... why base the design on ANY Firebird, let alone a non-reverse one, the most uncool of all Firebirds?

^ can't agree with this bit about non-reverse Firebirds being uncool

look at this

iva_Y9W3hJ0

[GA20T]

hmmm...

ugly
too many lights and knobs and buttons and switches
prone to delays
bright blue

this thing is definitely a PC.

Definitely a pc.