Golf Joke

[Last]

If this is an oldie I apologize.

Tiger Woods & Stevie Wonder are in a bar...

Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the singing career going?"

Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?"

Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right, now."

Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right."

Incredulous, Tiger says, "You play GOLF?"

Stevie says, "Yes, I've been playing for years."

Tiger says, "But -- you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see?"

Stevie Wonder replies, "Well, I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice."

But, "how do you putt" asks Tiger.

"Well", says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball toward his voice."

Tiger asks, "What's your handicap?"

Stevie says, "Well, actually -- I'm a scratch golfer."

Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime."

Stevie replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole. Is that a problem?"

Woods thinks about it and says, "I can afford that; OK, I'm game for that.. $10,000 a hole is fine with me. When would you like to play?"

Stevie Wonder says, "Pick a night."

[lcjc800]

[Blindspot]

Ok. Good one.

[dave s]

da dum, pshhhhhhhh!

Good one.

dave

[nsureit]

Me likey! I laughed out loud!

[SteveO]

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

Bad golfer: (Thwack!) "Shit!"

Bad skydiver: "Shit!" (THWACK)

[Brazen]

I knew what the punchline's gonna be and I was right.

[Craig Walker]

Heard it, but that's a good one.

[KDAD]

A man and a woman golfer were each looking for their golf balls that had landed in a cow field next to the golf course.

It was a hot day and the cows were swishing their tails to cool off.

As one cow swished her tail, the male golfer saw a golf ball lodged in her rear end.

Looking closer, he saw that it wasn't one of his.

Pointing at the ball, he yelled to the woman golfer

"Hey lady, does this look like yours?"




And the fight was on...

[Guitar55]