My son is going to the "big house"-what to do?

[j2b4o]

Ya 2-7 is a rough stay.
Personally I would just do everything I could to be there for him because most people will likely loose contact completely and it helps some to have a connection to their old life. You could wright letters and send him stuff so he isn't broke and can barter for stuff instead of having to do real shitty favors(likely to happen anyway). Not much anyone on the outside can do to help him stay safe. It's really all in his hands and the hands of those on the teir.

[JamesT]

Originally Posted by Porrig

Sounds like your son needs to take his lumps and you need to face up to it instead of complaining. Hey - you asked.

WTF? What a nasty person. Go read Eric peterson or at least say

I feel for you.

Can't you be nice?

A bit like group therepy- Sorry your son goes to jail for awile... we send you "mojo".

[EricPeterson]

OP, I am really glad Mike Anderson posted in this thread, he knows what he is talking about, take his words to heart, out of all the posts you read in this thread, I know that he talks from experience (as an attorney)/.


Doug -- thanks for sharing the story, that sucks that it happened to you. A similar thing happened to my wife, she managed to avoid the jail cell though, but it was close, she had paid a ticket, somehow it was lost in the shuffle, and there was a warrant.

[Hwoltage]

Originally Posted by EricPeterson

Doug -- thanks for sharing the story, that sucks that it happened to you. A similar thing happened to my wife, she managed to avoid the jail cell though, but it was close, she had paid a ticket, somehow it was lost in the shuffle, and there was a warrant.

This is why I ALWAYS at least appear to the court clerk. Never mail in. You can confer with the clerk at any time and they document every person that walks through the door.

[newking70]

Originally Posted by wstsidela

Bernie Madoff hired a prison coach before he served time.

what was his advice, don't drop the soap?

[EricPeterson]

Originally Posted by pedalbored

And please-no jokes about picking up the soap in a shower or being someone's bit*h !

Originally Posted by newking70

what was his advice, don't drop the soap?

It made it 7 pages, not bad for TGP.

[projam619]

Originally Posted by Mike Anderson

Hey,

Criminal defense attorney here. I'm very sorry for your son's trouble. I don't know exactly what your son did, but I agree that in general, we're way, way too quick to lock people up for long periods of time.

For the most part, prisons are NOT like on TV. (Is anything??) What Eric said is absolutely correct, they vary tremendously from place to place. If your son is lucky, he'll end up somewhere halfway tolerable, with a bunch of other low-security prisoners.

Not that he won't have a hard time -- prison sucks no matter where you are. All those people who think prisoners have it easy have no idea what they're talking about. The boredom alone is enough to kill you. Regardless of where he goes, he should try to keep his head down and stay out of peoples' way.

The best thing you can do for your son is to do everything you can to keep in touch with him. You don't say where you are in relation to him, but if he's lucky, he'll be within driving distance. If so, visit him as often as you can. Having a lifeline to the outside world makes a HUGE difference to a person in prison. If you can't visit him in person (or even if you can), write and call (or have him call you) frequently, and put some money on the books for him as often as you can afford to.

There are some online forums where you will get much better help (not to mention less judgmental) from other families with imprisoned relatives. Check out Prison Talk, for example. Somebody on there will be able to give you all the inside dope on whatever prison he gets assigned to.

Your son is lucky to have a father who cares; there's plenty of folks in prison who do not have anybody at all on the outside. Think about how badly that must suck...

Incredible post, and big up to you Mike Anderson! We need more empathy in the world as exemplified here. Best of luck to the OP and his son, and I hope his son's life turns around for the better.

[Hwoltage]

Originally Posted by projam619

Incredible post, and big up to you Mike Anderson! We need more empathy in the world as exemplified here. Best of luck to the OP and his son, and I hope his son's life turns around for the better.

It worked for my cousin and he was a SLIMEBALL. He had a couple little slip-ups but every time, in some ways and trend towards a better life was evidenced with each incident.

What makes it so hard for long term criminals trying to make that transition is the fact that they are living the life of a criminal. It's not like they are feeding a newborn, cooking supper and posting on TGP then are suddenly hit with the urge to go hi-jack a vehicle or pull an armed robbery. They are committed to the life and therefore have not maintained alternative "life avenues". It makes no difference how bad you want it, the transition takes a lot of time and a lot of effort.

[SG_Seth]

Originally Posted by pedalbored

Thanks to everyone who gave me advise-positive and negative. I strongly agree he should be punished, and prison time is not out of the realm. I know he broke the law and needs to pay for it. I personally think prison will either make him or break him, but hoping it will make him more of a responsible person. He has spent some time in a halfway house, almost two years, trying to fly right, and I thought it would do the trick, but I was wrong. Thing is, he was 2 weeks shy of completing his probation. He was on probation for not pulling over for the police when they tried to stop him. He was violating a no contact order on an old girlfriend by driving around in her area of town. He admited he was scared and wasn't thinking, so they got him on an eluding and resisting charge, plus the violation of the contact order. His mother and I got divorced when he was only 12, so he really didn't have anyone to kick his ass until his mom remarried when he was 16, and by then it might of been too late. Of course, me being a guitar player, I was on the road playing out west while he grew up, and I wasn't there, and for that I feel guilty. I'll give him all the support I can, and hope that he learns something solid this time. Thanks for all the advise, and I'll relay it to him next time I talk to him.

You're a stand up guy. Your words show a lot of character. If I was in your position, the insensitivity by a few individuals in this thread would have elicited a response that would have gotten me banned from this forum.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Best of luck to you and your family.

[projam619]

Originally Posted by Hwoltage

It worked for my cousin and he was a SLIMEBALL. He had a couple little slip-ups but every time, in some ways and trend towards a better life was evidenced with each incident.

What makes it so hard for long term criminals trying to make that transition is the fact that they are living the life of a criminal. It's not like they are feeding a newborn, cooking supper and posting on TGP then are suddenly hit with the urge to go hi-jack a vehicle or pull an armed robbery. They are committed to the life and therefore have not maintained alternative "life avenues". It makes no difference how bad you want it, the transition takes a lot of time and a lot of effort.

Yup, I hear ya. Needless to say, some folks are recidivist, revolving door criminals that seem beyond rehabilitation, and they deserve to be locked up for a long time - but we should always hold a glimmer of hope that these guys will eventually see the light.

[Doug's Tubes]

Originally Posted by Hwoltage

This is why I ALWAYS at least appear to the court clerk. Never mail in. You can confer with the clerk at any time and they document every person that walks through the door.

I did appear a couple of weeks after I answered the summons because I got a DMV revocation letter for driving w/o ins and the $15 check for the administrative fee had not cleared yet.

I went to traffic court after the holidays, Jan 9th, 2011 or so I believe and they confirmed that everything was good. Yep, we got the ins letter, disregard the DMV letter.

I ran my DMV license abstract after I got out of jail and it said 12/09/10, case dismissed. 12/16/10, conviction for driving without insurance and a $1500 fine. I had to pay an attorney to vacate the conviction.

But how is it I never knew this? How did I register not one but two motor vehicles if I had no license?

Sorry OP for a slight thread derailment, I'm with you and you have my full sympathy's.

[JamesT]

Originally Posted by SG_Seth

You're a stand up guy. Your words show a lot of character. If I was in your position, the insensitivity by a few individuals in this thread would have elicited a response that would have gotten me banned from this forum.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Best of luck to you and your family.

This was what i meant.

If you can't be a Mike Anderson and I can't then be this .

[Hwoltage]

Originally Posted by Doug's Tubes

I did appear a couple of weeks after I answered the summons because I got a DMV revocation letter for driving w/o ins and the $15 check for the administrative fee had not cleared yet.

I went to traffic court after the holidays, Jan 9th, 2011 or so I believe and they confirmed that everything was good. Yep, we got the ins letter, disregard the DMV letter.

I ran my DMV license abstract after I got out of jail and it said 12/09/10, case dismissed. 12/16/10, conviction for driving without insurance and a $1500 fine. I had to pay an attorney to vacate the conviction.

But how is it I never knew this? How did I register not one but two motor vehicles if I had no license?

Sorry OP for a slight thread derailment, I'm with you and you have my full sympathy's.

Wow. A word was invented just for this type of incident and that word is "screwed".

[Stratoben127]

By the "Big House" I thought you were reffering to the Allman Brothers' house in Macon in the early 70's. It's an ABB museum now. I'd rather go there than jail.

[Hwoltage]

Originally Posted by Stratoben127

I'd rather go there than jail.

I chuckled.