Critique a track for me?

[jehza8]

So I bought Ableton Live recently, probably a few too many plugins for my own good, and a midi controller.

This first song is half novelty, half an attempt to learn my way around the software and midi programming.

I'd be grateful if any generous listeners would check it out, give me some feedback on composition and mix. I'm new to the genre and this level of composition. So, if you have the time, "Brian de Catalogne":

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...?bandID=757815

Cheers.

[jehza8]

Well it must be beyond repair since the song got 15 plays yesterday and no comment.

[rob2001]

Well, it's electronic music, and this is more or less a guitar based site. That may explain why no comments were made. I'm not into that either but i'd make the comment that it sounded good. I mean my computer speakers are pretty bad but I heard everything that was there and nothing was overbearing. To me stuff like that needs a BIG PA or house system to really get a feel for it. Sounds like it would lay some thump down on a packed club!!

[Layne-o]

Jehza8,

Try to pan things out a little more. It seems to be a bit congested especially with all the layers going at once. There's a good incorporation of your melody line. A valiant effort none the less!

Kind regards,

Layne

[jehza8]

Thanks:

@rob2001: I appreciate it. you're probably right about the fact that this is a guitar oriented forum. I just got used to people talking about synths and stuff in this particular corner of the board that i hadn't considered the guitar sound bias.

@Layne-o: Good point, thank you. I've replaced the track with an updated mix using more panning, though I still have congestion. I'll have to learn how to exploit the stereo spread more...

[LSchefman]

I do techno in my ad work a lot. Clients seem to want it. I'm not guitar-based, so I'll make a few comments.

The good: lots of good ideas stuck in there.

The less-good: the track builds in a slightly scattered way. Overuse of the formant (or vocoder) "broya" sound. Gets better toward the end.

I'd simplify the ideas, and build the track out more like the ending. Stylistically, the chord changes are a bit much.

This isn't a put-down, I hope it helps. It's a strong first effort.

[jehza8]

@LSchefman: not taken as a put-down, sir; much appreciated. i asked for critique and i am grateful for it (in my day life i am a writer and a critic; i thrive on tough criticism). i've been wanting to write in another recent thread (power pop) that encouraging the younguns is good, but giving them honest appraisal is also essential to helping them develop their thinking about what they do. i encounter this every day as i teach young writers: find the good, and make suggestions for improvement.

anyhow:
The formant/vocoder overuse was deliberate, but your point is good. I'm steering away from that in future projects. This first trial was launched based on the gimmick, and I'll probably keep it (especially since this song is a tribute to a good friend Brian, and the sickening repetition of his name has significance in the joke that lies outside the music), but I want to learn to avoid such problems for the next go around.

And I think your comment on how to build the track is dead on. If I understand you correctly, you're recommending that I build it up in a way that is the inverse of how the track winds down at the end. That makes complete sense. I love Daft Punk, and their early tracks do just what you're describing. Frustrating that I didn't think of it that way!

I realize, to get at this music, I need to stop thinking in pop song structures...

Would you mind elaborating on what you mean about the chord changes? You can say that my fear is, in trying to make a dance/techno track, I won't have enough harmonic content to keep it interesting. I suppose my ultimate goal is to straddle multiple realms...but if the songs don't vibe, i need to adjust my goals.