Selfish Rant

[DickensCPA]

This is just a bona fide selfish rant to make myself feel better. I'll let you know if it works.

I know drummers get a bad rap, but I don't think this is a "drummer" thing. I think this guy is just a jerk. Put an ad on CL trying to put a new band together. I described specifically the music I was wanting to play and gave examples of 4 artists. This drummer answers the ad but we have to hear him complain about the type of music we want. It's gotten bad, to the extent that no one else showed up to practice last night but he and I.

We always practice at his house. I'm OK with that since I have two small children and a wife trying to sleep and I understand he would have a hard time packing up his kit. He lives in BFE and I can live with that too. The problem I have is we have to get there around his eating schedule, leave around his sleeping schedule, practice on nights around his TV schedule, etc. If each one of the band members had a quirk or two apiece, fine. Everything revolves around him and he hates our music.

I asked him last night why he even replied to an ad with the music and artists I listed. His response was he thought he could change me. Well, sorry.Drummers and bass players are as rare as a boar with tits around here, but I had to cut ties.

It worked, I feel better.

[thewhit]

Sounds like you made a good decision. Now to get about finding some boars with t*ts.

By the way, re: the old drummer joke, did he drool less or more when you delivered the news?

[strat6866]

Only thing you could do I guess.

[DickensCPA]

Originally Posted by thewhit

Sounds like you made a good decision. Now to get about finding some boars with t*ts.

By the way, re: the old drummer joke, did he drool less or more when you delivered the news?

To be honest he really started pleading. To the point where it was very obvious his personality had put him in this situation before.

I tried to explain to him that it would be like me wanting to play blues and answering an ad for a symphony and expecting them to change. He wasn't getting it and I decided I'd given him plenty of explanation. So I left.

[mbargav]

You did the right thing. I was in the same situation with a bassist in a band I used to be in. Responded to the ad, but seemed to hate EVERYTHING listed in the ad and was a pain about it. I don't know why people do this. I get the feeling that some people want to be in a band more than make good music (i.e. that everybody in the band sees as "good") and will respond to anything on CL.

[Flyin' Brian]

Originally Posted by DickensCPA

Everything revolves around him

This is the statement that's the key to the whole issue.

[cbguy]

bad decision. you should have kept the drummer no matter what it took to keep him happy!.

[ItsaRat!]

You did the right thing. It would've continued to be more frustrating for both parties.

This goes for all instruments. Over the years due to experiences like this one I've learned to be fairly quick to make decisions about new band members. People with serious ability have joined us this last year and just as quickly been booted out. We're not A holes, but what seems to happen is that people see us, like us, and want to be a part of the band, but then seem to want to change us to something jammy, funky, whatever. I fully expect that any band member will have an effect on the way we sound, but why would you join a space rock band (by which I'm not talking extended psychedelic jams) and want it to be something else? I certainly wouldn't join a band I couldn't relate to musically, and I know enough about my own abilities/tastes to discern the difference.

Then we've also had guys who don't want to polish and put in the work, they'd just rather throw some stuff together and call it good. For me, I play for fun and artistic satisfaction, but fun doesn't mean playing crappily thrown together songs. I want to be in a tight band that writes songs that I'd actually want to listen to. Or their songs have absolutely no bearing on what we're trying to do, and they complain that we're trying to make them take a back seat. Yes, you're right, I didn't start the band to play pop punk songs, nor did I ever give any indication that we were looking to bring that into the band, so please take a back seat.

I'm telling you, don't settle on someone who is a square peg. We recently got a drummer in our band who has been in a couple of really, really cool bands, and is completely on the same page as we are. That's the first time in my life I've had four people in a band with a common goal, and it is refreshing. My drummer is a great guitarist as well, and he brought some sick riffs to the table.

I'm telling you, it's night and day to work with people who understand and enhance what you're trying to do. Sometimes it is a frustrating process getting there though. Best of luck to you, stick in there and it'll happen eventually. For me, I'd personally rather work with someone whose ability isn't as strong as long as they can get there through practice, and have the right attitude.