Not drinking at parties

[chell]

Hey,

so I've recently decided to severely cut back on my alcohol consumption in the long run and to cut it out completely short to mid-term.

So far so good. Yesterday I got invited to a party where I suspect heavy drinking will take place (Most people there will be college aged, as am I).

I have 0 experience not drinking at events like that and wanted to ask if anyone here who for whatever reasons does not partake in the drink has any experiences/suggestions to share on how to still have a good time and maybe also on how to avoid being peer pressured into drinking.

I won't be a designated driver (no licence/car) so I'll take a cab home (still not planning to drink though).

[wrathfuldeity]

Have a non-alcoholic drink in hand...like a tonic and lime. If anybody asks..just say I have pancreatitis and will die soon...and I don't want to die a virgin...your place or mine...drunk college girls are easy.

[MadFrank]

Tough one. I've been sober for nearly 15 years now, and spent a good deal of that time working in pubs and bars. I'm sure someone more experienced here will tell you about the dangers of being 'Dry-Drunk', but the truth is there comes a time in the evening when you get seperated from the people around you, and you kind of have to take a step back and become an observer. This can be isoloating if you let it. I would allways treat people with an open mind whether they are drunk or not and enjoy the company of friends who are in good humor while it's there.

Some people - otherwise good people - will find your non-drinking a threat. They may think it's a judgement upon them, a threat to them, or they may have no concept of what you are trying to do. But who cares? Let them lead their life. I used to have a whole raft of easy fake excuses prepared for this, i.e. 'Im allergic to alcohol' etc.. Now I just say I quit and I talk about it only if they want to take it further. People always react best to honesty. In all these years though, the biggest problem I've had with not drinking is other peoples recation to it! Sheesh!

Good luck, and take it as far as you want to.

[dkaplowitz]

Originally Posted by wrathfuldeity

Have a non-alcoholic drink in hand...

Good advice. I'll add "at all times". I've been sober 24 years and having a good supply of something to sip on while you socialize is really important. So make sure you bring something of your own if you think there's only going to be alcohol on hand. Also, if you're anything like me, you'll quickly get bored at an event that is really all about getting drunk. Feel free to bail any time you feel like you've had enough or are just plain annoyed with what you're witnessing. The great thing about not drinking for me is that I get to do what I want with my life, that includes avoiding really obnoxious parties and events.

Good luck!

Dave

[Teh RedWizard]

You've gotta be brutally honest with yourself.You've apparently taken a step towards that end, because people who don't have 'issues' with their drinking don't feel the need to dry out for a spell.

Serious about this? You may arrive at the choice to skip it.

QUALIFICATIONS...Sober 3.5 years now,multiple relapser,came about as close to dying of alcoholism as one can!!

[5E3]

Do not succumb to peer pressure. Lie if you have to. Say you are taking some medication that cannot be mixed with alcohol.

BTW, you're in for an interesting experience. When you are sober in a room full of drunks it is a real eye opener. You might be surprised to see how stupid people get when intoxicated. You might ask yourself "do I look like that when I am drunk?" It isn't pretty. In fact, it could be enough of an eye opener that you decide to never get drunk again ... but you are very young, so maybe not.

Good luck, and I mean that

[chell]

Thanks for the suggestions guys.. The reason I'm taking it easy with the drinking for a while is that for me one drink tends to lead to another and I recently had a very unpleasant experience whilst under the influence. I wouldn't say that I'm an alcoholic but it's very scary to experience wanting a drink as a means to feel good.

They just told me that drinks are free at the party.. that'll make it even harder to resist but I'll try my best.

I think I've realised that nothing real ever comes from drinking.. The joy you feel etc. it's all fake and not real.

[5E3]

Originally Posted by chell

I think I've realised that nothing real ever comes from drinking.. The joy you feel etc. it's all fake and not real.

I sincerely wish I had realized this when I was college age. It would have saved me a lot of heart ache and possibly a couple of relationships, and a whole lot of very sickening hang-overs.

Good luck Chell.

[2 Loud 4 You]

I've never been a drinker so I can't even comment on what it would be like at a party while drinking. Typically I go to parties where I know most of the people and therefore have plenty of people to talk to. Being an introvert, I get uncomfortable around too many strangers and would most likely skip a party where I didn't know anyone other than who invited me.

[Relicula]

Originally Posted by 5E3

Do not succumb to peer pressure. Lie if you have to. Say you are taking some medication that cannot be mixed with alcohol.

BTW, you're in for an interesting experience. When you are sober in a room full of drunks it is a real eye opener. You might be surprised to see how stupid people get when intoxicated. You might ask yourself "do I look like that when I am drunk?" It isn't pretty. In fact, it could be enough of an eye opener that you decide to never get drunk again ... but you are very young, so maybe not.

Good luck, and I mean that

This is what I have experienced, I go to the same New Years Eve party every year, its also my son's birthday. So I take it real easy, maybe two beers max, and to see what your friends turn into when your not is an eye opener to say the least.

When I was a bartender, it was astounding. After many nights of bull from the same drunk, I finally said to him. "why is it when you get drunk, I turn into an a-hole" He didnt get it.

[Britishampfan]

Well, I have a severe allergy to alcohol that could work but normally I just tell people__ No thanks, I don`t drink.__ and If the guy turns into Douche Baggins my stay at the party will be extremely short.

[Dr. Tweedbucket]

You know what's weird is, if you are not drinking at a party, there are a handful of people who REALLY have a problem with that, and they put the pressure on in various ways, from a passive aggressive approach to out right calling you a wimp or whatever else. If you can wrap your brain around the fact that these people are the ones who have a problem and can laugh it off, you should be ok. Hang out with the others who are cool and comfortable with themselves.

Having a drink a N/A drink in hand is a great idea!!

[Jon Silberman]

One of the many things I've learned here is how many people find it easier to have no drinks at all as opposed to enjoying one or two but stopping there. I'm grateful I'm able to do the latter as I view alcohol in moderation as among the joys of life and the ability to enjoy a "vice" in moderation as an important and highly transferable life skill. This being said. if you know you can't stop, better not to start.

[Jetrow]

Who taught you to drink? Seems it's always no no no until you turn 21 in the US and then it's time to go nuts. Of course that results in getting sick, falling a sleep in public and loss of control of your body and many of it's functions.

If you don't want to drink, don't drink. You don't owe any one an explanation as to why. I suspect you will find yourself apart from the dopey sloppy aspects of being drunk like some of the others but too you may find that there are those who can handle their liquor and perhaps you will be more interested in what they talk about than those who need to obsess on how drunk they are getting.

Have fun.

PS what's the problem with getting a drivers license? You ain't getting any younger you know.

[Brazen]

As some of the guys said, it's an eye opener when you're sober among the drunks (sorry). I was amazed I used to be like that and wondered how much I said that I never meant to say. Unreal.

I quit drinking in 98 and started smoking pot. I needed some kind of stress reliever and this worked as well. I liked it better as it didn't impair me as bad as alcohol did. Didn't loosen my lips either. LOL.

3 months ago I had to stop smoking pot because of a new contract with my new doctor and drug screening is mandatory. I failed the first test. All that because I have chronic back pains and am taking pain pills. I want my old doctor back.

A week ago I tried 3 cans of beer and that took a lot of stress off of me but I felt goofy, like I'm drunk on my ass. That's not gonna work duh.

By the way I enjoyed the guitar while high but now, not so fun.