Not drinking at parties

[dmb70]

I quit drinking for about a year around the age of 19, just to sort of reset myself. It's not a big deal, just say no thanks if somebody offers a drink. Drink a soda, water or whatever non alcoholic beverage. As far as peer pressure, for me that was never really an issue, I'm pretty strong willed, so if I decided to do something no amount of razzing is really going to influence me. Just say no thanks if/when offered a drink, it doesn't have to be a huge deal.

[tennisplayer]

Originally Posted by 5E3

Do not succumb to peer pressure. Lie if you have to. Say you are taking some medication that cannot be mixed with alcohol.

BTW, you're in for an interesting experience. When you are sober in a room full of drunks it is a real eye opener. You might be surprised to see how stupid people get when intoxicated. You might ask yourself "do I look like that when I am drunk?" It isn't pretty. In fact, it could be enough of an eye opener that you decide to never get drunk again ... but you are very young, so maybe not.

Good luck, and I mean that

This. I rarely drink, I have no problem not drinking at a party. Just say you don't feel like drinking tonight.

[straightblues]

You really aren't that special. Nobody will care. Stop making such a big deal out of nothing. The more you build it up, the more of a thing it will be. Go and have fun and don't worry about it. If anyone gives you a hard time just avoid them and talk to others. If everyone gives you a hard time these people aren't your friends so go find new friends

[Britishampfan]

Originally Posted by mark norwine

"I'm alergic. I break out in handcuffs"

That`s good funny one

I would like to have a beer or drink but seriously I`m allergic I break out in hives like a bee sting and get very ill.

I like Cannabis but can`t because of work as mentioned on other threads.

Being sober is just fine with me but no so with drunks at a party they just won`t let it go but then Gasp in horror when I mention Cannabis.

[ACfixer]

Mark Norwine has it right.

[Jon Silberman]

Originally Posted by Tom Gross

I've been sober 18-1/2 years, and at first I thought it would be a problem not drinking at events where everybody else is.
It has never been an issue. I drink my diet coke, or tonic & lime or club soda, nobody ever says much. "No Thanks" generally takes care of almost all drink offers. If someone asks or notices, I have a few standard comments ("I'm not drinking tonight", "I exercise bad judgement when I drink", etc.)
Actually, I have been for the most part been really pleasantly surprised by most folks reactions. A lot of folks go out of there way to make sure I'm comfortable, for instance, when getting a pitcher for the table, someone says "You OK? You need anything?".
Anyone who badgers you, well, that kind of behavior speaks for itself.

More than once, though, I've forgotten, offered Tom a beer, and then had to slap myself in classic "doh!" fashion.

[nmontz]

I got real sick about my senior year of college. After about 7 different doctors we figured out it was a condition called cluster headaches. Also known as suicide headaches because I'll bet people off'ed themselves to get the pain to stop. I know I thought about it. It's a rare condition of hell I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Anywho....alcohol is my trigger. It was pretty simple...drink and I got so sick I wished I was dead. So I stopped...the doc said that I'd probably get them later in life a few times too...so at about 22 I stopped drinking. Haven't had a drink in 11 years. I do miss it too.

My observations....hanging around people who are drinking heavy isn't all that fun when I'm not. Nobody really cares if I'm drinking but me....most people only really care what pertains to them. Since I mostly liked imported beer and single batch bourbons....I've probably saved a boatload of money in 11 years (I'd so Loooove to have a nice big glass of murphies irish stout, or a knob creek whiskey sour right now though) Lastly, I'll bet money all the brilliant things I thought up when I was drinking....probably weren't.

[themadcaplaughs]

Being sober over 3 years now, the best principle I have found is if you could not enjoy a party sober, it is not a party worth being at. If you feel uncomfortable at any time or just not enjoying yourself, leave; why waste your time.

[Teh RedWizard]

Originally Posted by themadcaplaughs

Being sober over 3 years now, the best principle I have found is if you could not enjoy a party sober, it is not a party worth being at. If you feel uncomfortable at any time or just not enjoying yourself, leave; why waste your time.

We have a winner!!

[wizard_23]

Really glad I found this thread guys, there’s some interesting stuff in here. I’ve just recently started cutting back my drinking. I’ve had a reasonably big six-months or so on the booze and was starting to get sick of what felt like a routine of writing myself off and then spending the whole next day/week analyzing and over analyzing every conversation I had when I was drunk and inevitably feeling embarrassed about something I’d said.

I don’t really drink heavily mid week, but have trouble saying no when I’ll be the only sober person out to dinner or at a party. Anyhow, I went out with friends for dinner the last two nights, both times at pubs, and both times I was the only non-drinker, but I managed to stay on the diet cokes. I have a tendency to have 10 beers when I intend on having 2, so I’m sort’ve coming to terms with the fact that it’s better for me not to drink at all if I don’t intend on having a big one.

I know everyone has different aims and stuff and while I have the utmost respect for those who’ve managed to give away the bottle completely, at this stage that’s not for me. Just looking to get some control back and leave my big nights for special occasions.. But once again, I’m really glad I came across this; people have interesting stories to tell and they can be very helpful.

[wrathfuldeity]

Originally Posted by chell

Thanks for the replies so far!

I'd like to go to the party and enjoy myself. I'm an introvert and socially awkward most of the time so I figure it's time to change that.
Whether or not I'll be able to do that while sober is another question (The point someone made about being "left behind" by the drinking people is very valid in my experience. I have a friend who is sober 90% of the time (designated driver) and sometimes it seems that he feels alienated when the others are drinking and getting more and more drunk).

I'm also an introvert and socially inept...but in a group of drunks...you could be a rock star...say almost anything...and who would remember...a great opportunity to try something new.

Guess what...most folks are too full of themselves to care who you are or what you do as long as you are generally in bounds of the socially accepted decorum. So what I learned a lifetime ago as communication and psychology major...smile abit, ask them a question or two about themselves (people love to talk about themselves) and at some point if you can get them to laugh, they will think you are the niceist and great guy (try it at the next party...it can be fun bustin (teasing) drunk college girls...ulitmately rather boring, but a great place to test and refine your social skills. Btw they will know very little of you but often will want to be your friend....however you may not want them as a drunk friend.

[wrathfuldeity]

[QUOTE=Joe Robinson;9149527]
Here's one thing to do: Look for women who need some relief from annoying drunks. You'd be surprised how appealling a sober fellow can be when the room is full of obsessvie drunks.
QUOTE]

truth

[Dillow4092]

Since my wife has been out of rehab I haven't touched a drop. I don't want her exposed to it if I can help it. Yes I'd love to have a beer or two at home. I do this out of respect for her. Plus it's much better having my wife back.

[Jon Silberman]

Wow, so many are so black and white on alcohol consumption. The only experiences many of you seem to see or have are "drunk" and "sober." In my circle of friends, the dominant social mode is the responsible enjoyment of delicious and enjoyable alcoholic beverages. And of course, if people choose not to drink, their choices are respected.

[MudPies]

I think what helps fuel that Jon is that the OP speaks of parties with 20something young adults. I don't know about your early 20's but when we were young my peers drank to get drunk, not to socialize with a light buzz.