parenting is overrated

[The Guy]

hi guys. i saw this posted by a couple of 'moms' on facebook. Parenting Is Overrated: Why the Secret to Happier Parents Is Doing Less i have my first child on the way (july 9 is the due date), so naturally i read the article. i thought it was interesting - it goes against a lot of what ive interpreted as popular opinion, yet it still seems to make sense to a childless person like myself. any thoughts from the seasoned moms and dads of TGP?

[ccpa]

Congrats!

The joy of being a father is not overrated. Discipline is not overrated. Too much is too much and you and your wife will make the determination of what works and what doesn't and every child is different and will respond differently to you even if you "raise them the same". I think the most important pieces are discipline/manners, learning/reading/etc, socializing and above all confidence. I think installing confidence is very important for a young boy/girl. Always tell them when they've done a good job. Make them feel good about themselves so matter what life has to throw at them, they can keep their head up.

Parenting isn't overrated. It makes a significant difference. And you will agree with me once you start socializing with other kids and their parents.

[mcdes]

touche'

Originally Posted by ccpa

Congrats!

The joy of being a father is not overrated. Discipline is not overrated. Too much is too much and you and your wife will make the determination of what works and what doesn't and every child is different and will respond differently to you even if you "raise them the same". I think the most important pieces are discipline/manners, learning/reading/etc, socializing and above all confidence. I think installing confidence is very important for a young boy/girl. Always tell them when they've done a good job. Make them feel good about themselves so matter what life has to throw at them, they can keep their head up.

Parenting isn't overrated. It makes a significant difference. And you will agree with me once you start socializing with other kids and their parents.

[Jet Age Eric]

A big +1 to everything below. -E

Originally Posted by ccpa

Congrats!

The joy of being a father is not overrated. Discipline is not overrated. Too much is too much and you and your wife will make the determination of what works and what doesn't and every child is different and will respond differently to you even if you "raise them the same". I think the most important pieces are discipline/manners, learning/reading/etc, socializing and above all confidence. I think installing confidence is very important for a young boy/girl. Always tell them when they've done a good job. Make them feel good about themselves so matter what life has to throw at them, they can keep their head up.

Parenting isn't overrated. It makes a significant difference. And you will agree with me once you start socializing with other kids and their parents.

[Axe-maniac]

Originally Posted by ccpa

Congrats!

The joy of being a father is not overrated. Discipline is not overrated. Too much is too much and you and your wife will make the determination of what works and what doesn't and every child is different and will respond differently to you even if you "raise them the same". I think the most important pieces are discipline/manners, learning/reading/etc, socializing and above all confidence. I think installing confidence is very important for a young boy/girl. Always tell them when they've done a good job. Make them feel good about themselves so matter what life has to throw at them, they can keep their head up.

Parenting isn't overrated. It makes a significant difference. And you will agree with me once you start socializing with other kids and their parents.

Great post! As a father of three great kids I could not agree more. One of the great rewards as a parent is when other people tell you that your kids are well behaved/well adjusted/well mannered/polite etc. It makes the hard work worth while. Do the hard yards in the first 5 years and you will reap the benefits forever.

[msr13]

As I read the article, I summarized that too much active parenting may or may not help the distinction between great kids and troubled kids. That other external factors may play a role. Essentially, we don't know. Hence the millions of parenting books all differing on approach.

For our daughter we have instituted a self-determined motivational model She is now seven. She wonderfully obeys, and toes the line. She;s playful, thoughtful, empathic, social, and engaging. She's confident and willing to risk learning new things. While I would love to take credit for how we raised her from the start, I believe that her personality and disposition are a credit to her genes, supported by her environment. Just as many parents have done what we did. Very little variation in approach, but the kids are different. Innate. Complex.

Parenting should cover the physical needs, the educational opportunities, emotional support, emotional development, etc. Biology determines social ability, knowledge, skill, physical strengths and weaknesses, ets.

[Slackerprince]

Had my first at 45 and it's challenging.
My motto is "love and discipline."
Let them know the discipline comes from love.
When you're tired and you feel like letting something
go, that's when the trouble starts. You can't give an inch.
You have to set healthy boundaries and remain consistent
with enforcing them. By discipline, I mean, making sure he's
putting his toys away before bed, keeping to a daily routine,
not saying bad words, etc.
We don't spank, so we rely on reasoning and time-outs.
So far, so good, and everyone LOVES him in school.
We're always proud at family oriented events or gatherings that
he is so well behaved. He's a typical, active boy, looking to touch
everything, run and smash stuff, but that's normal and we encourage
him to have fun, but don't take it too far.
Anyway, I was watching a parenting documentary that said something
about new parents buying a dozen Parenting books, and they don't always
get read, but it's the fact that you cared enough to buy them in the first place.
Good luck.

Here's our guy:



S

[harpinon]

I think parenting in theory is beneficial, but as I look at the big picture, I have come to this conclusion.

Parental instruction helps kids fit into their ( the parents) mold, but children are "pre-wired" to have a certain "bent" in life and they will become such regardless of what their parents do or say.

I have seen kids of wild beer guzzling filandering parents end up clean kids on the honor roll and I've seen kids of fine upstanding parents end up rotten.

[Gham]

I think the best way to be a good parent is to have two kids close together,that way you don't fawn all over the first one,thank goodness I didn't have daughters or they would be spoiled rotten!! I'm not the greatest example of good parenting but I love my boy's and try to raise them to respect adults and treat other kid's equal.

[Tony]

I'm guessing that the authors wanted to catch some eyeballs with the title "Parenting is Overrated." After reading the article, I might suggest that it could've been titled "Over-parenting is Overrated" - a concept with which I would agree.

[Don A]

Originally Posted by Tony

I'm guessing that the authors wanted to catch some eyeballs with the title "Parenting is Overrated." After reading the article, I might suggest that it could've been titled "Over-parenting is Overrated" - a concept with which I would agree.

Exactly. I expected to see something controversial, something that I'd disagree with, but I agree with them for the most part.

[xroads]

Originally Posted by Tony

I'm guessing that the authors wanted to catch some eyeballs with the title "Parenting is Overrated." After reading the article, I might suggest that it could've been titled "Over-parenting is Overrated" - a concept with which I would agree.

The article is geared towards a certain species of parents - I agree. If you do parenting by applying common sense, you are OK, and you don't need articles like those...

[tonegangster]

Being a parent rocks!!

[morlll]

Originally Posted by Gham

I think the best way to be a good parent is to have two kids close together,that way you don't fawn all over the first one,thank goodness I didn't have daughters or they would be spoiled rotten!! I'm not the greatest example of good parenting but I love my boy's and try to raise them to respect adults and treat other kid's equal.

Nah, I have one daughter she is going to university next year, she's a great kid.

Sometimes spoiled, but not a bad person. Has a job for after school, just finished college on the honour roll, and plays the guitar with me sometimes.

[rwe333]

Originally Posted by ccpa

Congrats!

The joy of being a father is not overrated. Discipline is not overrated. Too much is too much and you and your wife will make the determination of what works and what doesn't and every child is different and will respond differently to you even if you "raise them the same". I think the most important pieces are discipline/manners, learning/reading/etc, socializing and above all confidence. I think installing confidence is very important for a young boy/girl. Always tell them when they've done a good job. Make them feel good about themselves so matter what life has to throw at them, they can keep their head up.

Parenting isn't overrated. It makes a significant difference. And you will agree with me once you start socializing with other kids and their parents.

Well done/said!