31 Excellent Insults...

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by Kentano2000, Feb 6, 2015.

  1. Kentano2000

    Kentano2000 Member

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    I predict all of these will be used to full effect here on TGP. Be careful, NSFW language.

    A few of my favorites:

    “I find no arse-crack in it”
    Dutch (“ik vind er geen reet aan”). This is boring, this does not interest me at all.

    “Asparagus Tarzan”
    German (Spargeltarzan). A thin, weedy person.

    “May your house be live on CNN”
    Serbian (A bog da ti kuca bila). Expressing a wish that you will be blown up by a bomb falling on your house.

    What are your favorites?

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/tomchivers/...-profanities-from-around-the-world#.rwrR5Y7AR
     
  2. mango

    mango Member

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    I like “Arse with ears”
     
  3. JWDubois

    JWDubois Member

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    The best one I ever saw:

    "May your hemorrhoids dangle like a bunch of grapes."
     
  4. pjs ire

    pjs ire Member

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    "I hope you jump on your bicycle and discover there's no seat on it". PRR
     
  5. fredgarvin

    fredgarvin Member

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  6. fredgarvin

    fredgarvin Member

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    "Whatever is eating at you is probably sick to its stomach by now."
     
  7. SouthpawGuy

    SouthpawGuy Member

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  8. Polynitro

    Polynitro Member

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    sarah silverman to the cop who just pulled her over

    "do you know why im standing here?"

    "because you were a c student in high school?"

    :D

    a similar one Dr House said to a know-it-all EMT,

    "If you wanted to be a doctor you should have studied more in high school instead of chasing girls"
    (or something to that effect)

    then the always classic
    "the jerk store called: they are running out of you!"
     
  9. Kentano2000

    Kentano2000 Member

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    What's the difference? You're their all-time best seller!
     
  10. kkregsg

    kkregsg Supporting Member

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    "I refuse to engage in a war of wits with someone who is unarmed."

    I don't know who said that, but I've always liked it.
     
  11. MONSTER ZERO

    MONSTER ZERO Member

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    You want insults? Look up Don Rickles. to this day I don't think anyone has ever been better.

    "Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera".
     
  12. rog951

    rog951 Member

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  13. NewLeaf09

    NewLeaf09 Supporting Member

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    Shakespeare? My favorite:

    A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud,
    shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy,
    worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver'd, action-taking, whoreson,
    glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue;
    one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of
    good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave,
    beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch;
    one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deny the
    least syllable of thy addition.

    Or Golda Mier to Moshe Dayan:
    Don't be so humble. You're not that great.
     
  14. neoprimitive

    neoprimitive Member

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    the best shot you have at a good education is shutting your mouth and listening to me.
     
  15. MVrider

    MVrider Member

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    Your apartment is like a shithole without a hole.
     
  16. Fantom1

    Fantom1 Member

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    Man, no Spanish insults? You can say everything on TV, and most things are used commonly in spoken language (though not professionally). Some favorites:

    Me cago en tu madre. (I poop on your mother). Variation- Me cago en tu puta madre. (Slightly worse).

    Cabrón. "Big goat" Que cabrón. "what a dick."

    Cabronazo. "Huge goat" Que cabronazo "what a huge f$$%&ing dick."

    Coño. We have the same word, but it's not used in the same way. It means like "Hey!" or "what the hell!" Ex: "Que coño haces?" What in the hell are you doing?

    De puta madre. Literally, "from the prostitute mother" but means "The best." I guess it's not an insult, but still funny.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2015
  17. Clyde Billt

    Clyde Billt Member

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    John Cooper Clarke
    Poetry at it's zenith

     
  18. The Captain

    The Captain Supporting Member

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    I think I'm going to learn Spanish, just for the swearing,
     
  19. TenThumbs

    TenThumbs Member

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    Not as much of an insult, but it's a good way to shut someone up:

    I've said all I wanted to hear on the subject.........

    or, my personal favorite, when someone is asking the same question over and over again:

    Asked.....Answered.....
     
  20. coldinWI

    coldinWI Member

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    I grew up in National City, just south of San Diego. A good portion of my old buds are Hispanic. One of my friends spoke of his mother as "the cry of war". It's funny, she was very loud and very harsh, but also loving and generous. To be fair, we deserved the criticism. :)

    There is no language that can equal Spanish with regard to speaking your mind. The rest of the world are just pretenders.
     

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