5 Top Ways Of Getting Along With Your Wife or S...

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by StevenA, Feb 6, 2015.

  1. StevenA

    StevenA Member

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    As a graduate of the Men are from Mars Women are from Venus Academy, majoring in "there ain't no way I'm gonna win this argument," I respectfully offer my 5 best rules for marital bliss:
    1. Don't fight. Women love to fight. It's their way of flexing their feminine muscles. Always apologize, it's no sweat off your brow. And follow it up with that you are just want to know what movie she wants to see Sat. Night, and where she wants to eat. Save fighting with your friends about music or sports.
    2. Let them be right about everything even when they couldn't be more wrong. They need to be right as much as they need to breathe oxygen. Makes them feel good, smart, confident. If they're wrong and you come up with something better, give them the credit.
    3. Be chivalrous. Make sure they get what they need. Refresh their drinks, make sure they're comfortable, come to their rescue. There is a reason why firemen are the subject of calendars and not software programmers.
    4. Don't be lazy. There is no more of a turnoff then for a wife to see her husband on the couch watching reruns of "Married with Children." If you're outside with a shovel and your shirt off, your wife is probably planning something for you later that evening.
    5. Talk, make conversation. Ask probing questions. Women need words, can't survive without them. Make **** up. Have no dead space. Silence drives women to commit murder.
     
  2. coltonius

    coltonius SeƱor Member Silver Supporting Member

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    This is hilarious(ly true). Thanks for sharing!
     
  3. Matt McGriff

    Matt McGriff Member

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    Talk. That is the most important thing. Too many relationships fail because of unrealistic expectations and lack of communication to get expectations in line between the two.

    Also, always remember it is not your partner's job to make you happy. People really have to quit wondering what their spouse is going to do for them and start wondering what they can do for their spouse.

    Also, make sure your wife knows you think she is beautiful. And avoid comparing her to other women and unrealistic expectations of looks in pornographic material or pop culture. Don't gawk at women. My wife takes good care of herself but will still ask me about her looks and if I am attracted to her after 17 years of marriage. I know how good I have it-it only takes a visit to Wal-Mart to reinforce that.
     
  4. travisvwright

    travisvwright Member

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    Wow not only do I not agree with the mentality, but actually find it to be quiet misogynistic. Do you really think that way about females?
     
  5. Fred132

    Fred132 Member

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    6. Fake deafness. They'll give up and go watch "Housewives of Orange County".
     
  6. pjs ire

    pjs ire Member

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    Sounds more like the five ways to take care of a two year old......PRR
     
  7. Jiffy_Jeff

    Jiffy_Jeff Playin Tunes and Having Fun! Silver Supporting Member

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    Haha. If I did number 4 and took my shirt off it would blind everyone within a mile radius and the sight of my shape would make people ill.

    And if I followed that list I would have to turn in my man card.
     
  8. chrisjw5

    chrisjw5 Supporting Member

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    Yeah. The first sentence of 3, 4 and 5 aren't bad, but the underlying assumptions are pretty awful. "Women" aren't a homogeneous group.

    The simple answer is to treat her the way you'd want to be treated - and that starts with treating her an equal, not a bomb to be defused.
     
  9. Chris Scott

    Chris Scott Silver Supporting Member

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    I'll give you #3, though not quite as "puppy dog" as you outlined. Hey, opening doors and the like is a civilized way to treat people in general, and besides, it's fun.

    #4 - yeah, though more for me than for her - being a contributing member is where it's at, at least for me.

    The rest?...

    ...nah, too much fantasy-land crap foisted upon us via the collective media (books included, especially back when people actually read them...) which fostered the notion of "women are special", which we the men bought into in order to insure receipt of "the prize".

    (...how's that for a mouthful of basic disdain for the oh-gee-dear-are-you-ok-with-that approach to dealing with women?)

    Hey, I'm married to a very bright, strong Polish woman, and 15 years of being married to her, (as well as having been married to uhh, errr.... someone else) has shown me just how twisted the "relationship paradigm" if you will in the U.S. has become.

    The TV shows up there ain't helping either, I can tell ya...



    EDIT: I think that in the end, Chrisjw5's last sentence says it best.
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2015
  10. HurricaneJesus

    HurricaneJesus Member

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    I can get on board with 3,4, & 5 but the first two seem like a one-way ticket to being a lap-dog.
     
  11. RLD

    RLD Member

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    I wouldn't be married to a woman that needed that much babysitting.
     
  12. option1

    option1 Member

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    These.

    The fact that anyone would seriously subscribe to the views expressed in the OP are just mind-boggling, knuckle-dragging. Misogyny doesn't even come close to describing it.

    Neil
     
  13. DGTCrazy

    DGTCrazy Moderator de Emporio Staff Member

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    The only real problem with this thread is the Title. It should read;

    "5 Top Ways of ME Getting Along with my Wife". :)
     
  14. HurricaneJesus

    HurricaneJesus Member

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    I mean, the OP is most-likely tongue-in-cheek.
     
  15. gigs

    gigs Member

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    YAY. A generalized 5 point list for everlasting bliss with your wife. Changing all six strings on my guitar sounds tougher.
     
  16. BBSuggs

    BBSuggs Gold Supporting Member

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    My wife's painting the kitchen and breakfast room. Mediocrity at its finest, but damn, "great color babe!"

    However difficult, refrain from criticism. Straight lines are hard. Brush and roller strokes are inevitable.
     
  17. option1

    option1 Member

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    I suspect so to, but I'm not so sure about some of the responses agreeing. :hide2

    Neil
     
  18. Dog Boy

    Dog Boy Member

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    Man...if this is what you have to do to maintain the peace I feel sorry for you.
     
  19. HurricaneJesus

    HurricaneJesus Member

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    Which is why we need a tongue-in-cheek font.
     
  20. itkindaworks

    itkindaworks Member

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    I've never met a person(woman or not) that wants to hear someone "make **** up" and "Have no dead space", that sounds incredibly annoying.

    To sum up, treat all women as divas and talk nonstop?
     

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