As many gay friends and relatives as I've had...

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by 27sauce, Apr 28, 2016.

  1. 27sauce

    27sauce Member

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    I've never known one who came out during our friendship, until recently. So bizarre. It's been a few months now. Good friend of mine for a couple of years, not a lifetime or anything. One day he's got a hot girlfriend and all seems cool, and a few weeks later, bam!

    He lives in a different city now and I just keep up with him through text/social media. So crazy to me, that he's a totally different guy than I met. I'm happy for him, I think. His family was already tough on him for not pursuing the family biz, which is football. He seems happy.

    Any coming out stories?
     
  2. sanrico

    sanrico Member

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    I was on tour with a flamenco company in 1997. My roommate was one of the male dancers. We finished soundcheck and went back to the room to get ready for the show. We were just chatting casually and I asked, "How long have you been out of the closet?"

    Silence, then, "How did you know I was gay?"

    Turns out, he had never outed himself before (other than his lovers). He went home from that tour and came out to his family. He said our conversation is what spurred it on.
     
  3. stephax

    stephax Member

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  4. Peteyvee

    Peteyvee Premium Platinum Member

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    My best friend worked for 10 years with a guy who he thought was straight. The first time I met the guy I could tell he was gay. I quietly told him that everybody he worked with thought he was straight and maybe he should come out and be honest with himself. I also told him that no one was going to change their opinion of him based on what he did in the privacy of his own home.

    To my amazement, he did and I was right. Everybody treated him exactly the same. I ended up working with him at a different company 15 years later and he said the advice that I gave him that day was the best advice he'd ever gotten and he should have done it sooner instead of living a lie. Seriously, he wasn't fooling anybody, except maybe his co-workers, but I'm sure it just never occurred to them. My buddy told me, "so and so told everybody he was gay today. Weird huh?" I replied something like "Not really, he's flaming. I don't see how you guys could not know." and he said "Well he had us fooled, but it's no big deal. He's still the same guy."
     
  5. 27sauce

    27sauce Member

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    Man, I never saw it, although my wife says I mentioned something the day I met him.

    But now, looking back, there were so many tells. I just chalked it up to him being a nice guy, or a small town guy.
     
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  6. Peteyvee

    Peteyvee Premium Platinum Member

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    Right and my buddy and the rest of his co-workers chalked it up to the guy being shy around girls. :rotflmao
     
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  7. 27sauce

    27sauce Member

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    Yup, that was it. He had the pick of any girl that came near him, and rarely did anything about it. Then he dated a really hot single mom chick that he scared off. He got really clingy, way too attached. I don't know what that was all about.
     
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  8. BrewDrinkRepeat

    BrewDrinkRepeat Member

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    IMO it's kinda sad that we live in a world where anyone has to "come out of the closet." People should just be free to be who they are, they shouldn't have to hide things like this for fear of scorn... or worse, retribution.

    I could go much further on this, but that would violate any number of forum rules. :rolleyes:
     
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2016
  9. 84Bravo

    84Bravo Member

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    In college, mid-seventies, all my buddies and I are veterans. My friend Denny gets excited when a close army buddy from out of state wants to come by and see him and spend the night with him and his wife. Cool. Denny wants me to come by and meet him, so I stop over for a few beers. Nice guy, they were MPs in Vietnam, most came home. We shared stories, I left so they could catch up. Next day an outraged Denny comes by to tell me his buddy revealed that he was gay, as were a number of others in their company. Poor Denny. He couldn't accept it, wouldn't accept it. Sad. It ended their friendship.
     
  10. stephax

    stephax Member

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    Two of my ex-girlfriends are gay.

    The last one in date has moved to Canada and is on the activist side. She did not mention it to me. My mum, who is still in touch with her parents told me so. I was not surprised to be honest. She lives a happy life with her significant other, has kids etc...

    Years ago, my old friend told he'd met my very first GF at the supermarket. "She's gorgeous and asked for you, how you've been... I gave her your mobile number, she calls you asap. Lucky bastard, guess what ? She's single ! Her girlfriend left her recently... "

    -SAY WHAT ?

    Leah calls me, we arrange to meet each other -with my old fellow as well- at my flat.

    She comes home, my friend did not... we smoke weed and she freakin' rapes me in my own kitchen !

    I call her the day after to have a little chat about how we should cope with this little affair. NOT A SINGLE WORD ABOUT BEING GAY !

    This was 15 years ago...

    Five years ago she calls me and asked if we can meet, what we did. And came out. So yeah OP !
     
  11. Turi

    Turi Member

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    My cousin came out as being homosexual about 6 or so years ago.
    His parents actually kicked him out of the house for while and it took like a year before they would even talk to him again.

    I, for the life of me, could not understand how they could not know.
    He was the gayest dude I've ever seen. He used to dress as woman all the time and prance around the house. His parents SURELY couldn't be that stupid.
    Perhaps they were just ignorant, or had other plans for him.

    Either way he got tired of not being able to bring his boyfriends home, and told them (and everyone else).
    Everyone besides his own parents was totally cool with it. He came up to stay with me almost immediately after he came out the closet, to get away from his family (and also yeah, not allowed in the house probably had something to do with it - I live 2 states away).. while he was up here in QLD, he was 100% gay.
    Can't actually get any gayer.

    He bought himself some Gaydar thing that he put his keys on and had a Gaydar wrist band. He came to a few karaokes with me and some jam sessions, wearing a ****ing massive fur coat and gayboi sunglasses - in our QLD summer.
    He went all super-gay after he came out, I guess he felt liberated or something.

    He hasn't stopped being an over the top gayboi.
    His family talk to him at least but they're still not keen on it, AFAIK.

    He's a great guy. Just prefers men.
    He's actually a whole lot braver than most fellas. My friend had his bike stolen off him, while my gay cousin was up here, and my friend was too pansy to do anything about it - even with me. I was on my way over to this deros house to get my mates bike back, and I hear my gay cousin callin' my name up the street.
    My friend totally stayed at my place and just let me and my gay cousin go knockin' on this idiots door.

    After I knocked on the door, I noticed the bike was just over a little fence I could easily reach over, so I just pick it up and we start headin', then the dude opens the door and goes "what the **** are you faggots doing? That's MY bike now ****heads" and my gay cousin drops "don't be such a bitch".

    Yeah.
    He's cool. He's gay. He doesn't pretend he's not and never really has except he DID used to have girlfriends but I mean, I still knew..

    OH!
    ANOTHER STORY!

    One of my step dads used to beat on my mum, physical abuse etc etc you know, all that good '90s dysfunctional family stuff - and then one day, she catches him beating himself off to some mens pornos in the garage.
    So that happened.
    He hasn't "came out" though. Still pretends he likes women.
     
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  12. Doug's Tubes

    Doug's Tubes Member

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  13. Doug's Tubes

    Doug's Tubes Member

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    I have a close high school friend to this day. We were room mates in 1974 and one evening he seemed very quiet, something was bothering him. We had adjoining bedrooms with a louvered shutter in between so we could talk. I said tell me c'mon. It's Doug. You wouldn't understand he said. Stop, let's have it. So he proceeded to recount all the guys he had over(I thought nothing of it) and yadda yadda yadda........

    I sprang out of bed and ran into the bathroom when I realized what he was saying. Then I returned moments later and said well, nothing has changed between us.

    The last girlfriend he dated has been my wife and companion for the last 41 years......
     
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  14. Fishyfishfish

    Fishyfishfish Member

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    One of the most jock chick magnet dudes in high school came out to us while in college.
    Great guy, just got tired of keeping up an image for his family.
     
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  15. Multicellular

    Multicellular Member

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    I got to come out as straight to half my grad school class.

    For real.

    I was the president of the LGBTQ club at school. Because...equality and ****. But, thus, lots of people assumed I was gay. No one in the club thought I was. Theyd met my girlfriend and stuff.

    But we had a coming out event and I was mcing it. Then people were saying tell your story...lmao.
     
  16. gtrdave

    gtrdave Member

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    One of my best friends since we were in grade school together. Was my best man at my wedding.
    Dated girls all through middle school, high school, college...then moved to Tampa and *poof* he's gay.
    Still a friend, although the soft-core gay pin-up photos he posts on his Facebook page is not my thing at all...
     
  17. marktweedy

    marktweedy In Transit®

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    I sobered up some years ago in a treatment centre. A guy I got to know well came out while in treatment. It was tremendously liberating for him.

    Apart from that I have no other first hand experiences. However anybody that has told me their story about coming out has expressed the same sense of freedom that my friend in treatment expressed (although things were not always smooth sailing in terms of acceptance by others after they came out).
     
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2016
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  18. Stratonator

    Stratonator Member

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    Happened to me in college. Guy was a school acquaintance. We were in the same clubs at school. Went once at his place where he broke the news that he was gay. It was a little surreal as this was my first encounter with anybody I knew was gay. I reluctantly asked him if he had a crush on me and he said yes but that he knew I was as straight as can be so that it wasn't to make a pass at me that he invited me over. After 5 min of talking about it, we started playing some board game.

    And that was it. He was a good guy just trying to find his way in life. I'm glad that even though I was extremely immature back then that I reacted the proper way, didn't freak out, and was all cool with it. One of my few proud moments in college where I initially failed at everything else, including my classes. :D
     
  19. Sarutobi sasuke

    Sarutobi sasuke Member

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    i used to have a buddy growing up who was gay and everyone knew but him. several of us told him "hey, we know, and it's cool, be who you wanna be." he ALWAYS denied it. i lost track of him a few years after high school when i moved to another state for a while. years later, i came back home for a funeral, and ran into alot of my old friends, and we started catching up. i run into the guy's sister and i ask about him. "O...M...G... she says, that's right, you've been away, so you don't know. i'll leave it to him, he'll be here any minute" so he comes walking into the funeral. he's lookin like a goth liberace. i say "hey man!!! long time no see! how are ya?" we talked for a bout 5 minutes and he says to me "have you seen my sister? i guess she told you i'm gay now, huh?" and i told himwhat do you mean now? we always knew, we knew before you did. he says " OMG WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT!!!???" apparently i wasn't the only one to react that way to his "coming out" and he seemed a little disappointed in the lack of drama. he's a good guy, everyone liked him. i guess he wanted it to be a big deal, and everyone yawned and went about their day. i hope he's out there somewhere being happy.
     
  20. Doug's Tubes

    Doug's Tubes Member

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    And more.

    My wife's sister has gorgeous twin girls a few years older than my boys.

    For years one of them was showing up at our family holiday gatherings with a rather masculine looking girl. I never cared for her guest over the years(always gave me nice tools for Christmas though....lol)

    One evening I was out to dinner with my family, and the discussion came up. Dad, did you know she was gay?

    What????

    Oh, that explains a lot I guess.

    Fast forward, my niece ended that relationship and met a wonderful girl from a family with 5 other brothers, and they were married in 2014.
     

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