Assembling Ikea furniture: The Divorcemaker

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by Mike Anderson, Apr 22, 2015.

  1. Mike Anderson

    Mike Anderson Member

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    Ikea sells a piece of furniture so difficult to assemble it's called the 'Divorcemaker'

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    I can identify with this. I've put together some serious finger-smashers in my time, including a large corner/desk/computer-hutch module with about a hundred little shelves and doors. We moved three times, and I dis-assembled and re-assembled it each time, until finally all the little wooden pegs had been broken or lost and the particle board had split open in several different places.

    Thankfully, my wife and I have mostly moved on from Ikea's concoctions, but recently she wanted to buy a cheap coffee table there, so we did. I figured, "It's just a little coffee table, how hard could it be?" I swear to god, whoever designs these things is a serious masochist.
     
  2. Trotter

    Trotter Supporting Member

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    We bought that exact piece. It actually wasn't that bad to assemble IMO. But it did require some thought, patience and a lot of time. I can see why some folks would have problems!
     
  3. fetishfrog

    fetishfrog Member

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    Don't you have a math PhD and a JD?

    Seriously the only thing about IKEA furniture I hate is the fact that it's so poorly made, every time I buy something from them I feel like a sucker. The only reason I do is my kids will destroy everything, so I am going to let them destroy cheap stuff.
     
  4. cas29

    cas29 Member

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    People think I'm crazy, but I actually enjoy putting this stuff together.
     
  5. Mike Anderson

    Mike Anderson Member

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    I don't have any problem following the instructions or figuring out what goes where. I actually find the instructions (which are usually devoid of language) to be quite decent.

    What I don't like is how the whole thing goes together -- which is to say, very poorly. Screws don't line up with holes, particle board crumbles, pegs break, etc. etc.
     
  6. BarkingTree

    BarkingTree Member

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    -Divorcemaker- I like that..!


    Why don't they just assemble it in China then drop it by Drone on your front lawn?
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2015
  7. fetishfrog

    fetishfrog Member

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    I was poking a little fun at ya

    But yeah, that's why I feel like such a sucker for buying it.
     
  8. AbstractLunatic

    AbstractLunatic Member

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    The secret is to use wood glue when you assemble. Solid!
     
  9. Fred132

    Fred132 Member

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    I refuse to buy furniture that has to be assembled.
     
  10. Peteyvee

    Peteyvee Premium Platinum Member

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    That would be great if they actually used real wood. :p
     
  11. EricPeterson

    EricPeterson Member

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    I found that you have to be picky with their furniture, we had good luck with their solid pine stuff. the rest of it is typical press-board crap.


    I am glad to be done with purchasing that type of furniture.
     
  12. Mike Anderson

    Mike Anderson Member

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    As long as you never have to disassemble it!
     
  13. lefort_1

    lefort_1 Nuzzled Firmly Betwixt Gold Supporting Member

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    Agreed.
    We picked up one of their 5x5 cube bookshelves....cheapest carp ever.
    And yes, relationship-strain goes part and parcel with assembly.
     
  14. AbstractLunatic

    AbstractLunatic Member

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    A lot of their stuff is solid pine. The particleboard stuff is less than ideal but people would buy solid wood if they had the money right? ;)

    Anyway, I have Ikea furniture I assembled with wood glue(and all included hardware) that is 19 years old and rock solid and has survived 9 moves so far.
     
  15. Peteyvee

    Peteyvee Premium Platinum Member

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    I was joking...we have one of their pine closets and it's fine after 10 years. OTOH, the particle board stuff, is well, cheap particle board.
     
  16. LPBlue

    LPBlue Member

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    I've never had any trouble with the assembly of any of their pieces...only with pronouncing the names of them without hurting my mouth. I always anticipated them making a computer desk called "Nerde" but it never happened.


    J.R.
     
  17. AbstractLunatic

    AbstractLunatic Member

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    Do you regularly disassemble fine handmade furniture? Why would that be different with Ikea stuff? :)
     
  18. Stike

    Stike Member

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  19. AbstractLunatic

    AbstractLunatic Member

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    No worries. I figured but wanted to append my earlier post with some supporting details. Cheers!
     
  20. Mike Anderson

    Mike Anderson Member

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    Because when my furniture was from Ikea, I was living in apartments! We threw most of that crap out when we bought our house.
     

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