Discussion in 'The Sound Hound Lounge' started by EpicEsquire, Aug 15, 2019.
When I was in the Army I played in a few bands with some really amazing musicians.
Most pretentious twats have better language skills
You might not like the jabs they throw but if it really peeves you off because you feel slighted, you are not what they need. They saved everyone’s time.
I just want to show up in my best hipster apparel with a 335 and bust out “Cat Scratch Fever”.
Thank you for not wasting my time.
I'm a veteran, play blues, and live 500 miles away...think I have a shot?
Well, I know what they don’t want. But have no idea what exactly they do want. I mean, what style of music are they going for? These guys don’t even sound like mature adults.
That ad has similar vibe to this one I saw a couple of weeks ago that a drummer put up.
After reading the ad...I felt like responding just to ask the guy what exactly WAS he looking for, since his entire ad was about what he WASN'T looking for.
"Not the drummer you're looking for...
If your "band" is an excuse to get together and get drunk or high, I'm not the drummer you're looking for...
If your band is the next big thing with record label interest and you're just one gig away from your next big break, I'm not the drummer you're looking for...
If the words doom, sludge, or stoner have ever been used to describe your band, I'm not the drummer you're looking for...
If your idea of a gig is paying a venue for the privilege of entertaining their patrons, I'm not the drummer you're looking for...
If you want to play a majority of original songs, I'm not the drummer you're looking for...
If you've made it this far without being offended, you're likely someone I'd like to work with. If you want to play some good music and have fun, give me a text or an email and let's talk."
He say's "let's talk"...but he doesn't leave much for people to want to talk about.
The add is still up...I guess no one wants to talk with him.
It would be funny if most guitarists responding to this add would be blues-rockers from New Jersey an Long Island
I can dress up like the guys in GWAR and no one will suspect I'm almost 70.
Can I join?
How about the one that says Girl singer needed, US born?
My Buddy worked for them. they clean the inside of the costumes with spray bottles full of vodka.
I remember my first beer.
I'm eligible, yay!
Have never successfully rocked any blues so far.
Finally something is moving. I hope they don't need a hollow body guitar though. :/
All they had to do was preface the ad with an age range and not go on an anti-classic rock rant
I highly doubt they meant "veteran" in the military sense, it has no relevance in this context; however it does have relevance when you are talking about older musicians. It's just another way for them to say "don't call us if you are old"
In the final analysis I think this is an effective ad because the only people who have little enough sense to respond to it, or not recognize the very obvious red flags, are people who are like-minded fools. Also any respondents won't be into classic rock, and that's important to the ad posters.
Whatever job this individual has which pays HIS bills, call it a hunch but I guarantee it isn't proofreading. Good lord, that was painful.
They're talking about music scene veterans... people who've been in the scene for a long time i.e. old. They're not talking about military status.
That said, the ad is a reminder why I left NYC decades ago. Lots of pretentious people with nothing to show for. Seems like nothing have changed.
I'm sure a lot of us have been in the position of auditioning new guitarists. I don't even put ads up anymore. 90% of the responses and most of the auditions I got last time were either super-shredders, complete hacks or fedora wearing basement blues Kings (their moms totally love the fedora).
All of those things are fine. When they're somewhere else. Far away from me.
As for the age thing - well... I'm in my mid 40s. I'm the oldest guy in the band. Youngest is mid 30s.
We spend a lot of time together. I have very little in common with the average twenty something or the average sixty something. Age isn't an immediate disqualifier, but it shouldn't be surprising that many people tend to people-shop within their own peer groups.
Guitarist shopping is such a huge hassle that last time we needed to replace a guitarist, we simply decided not to. After 5 years, the band became a 4 piece instead of a 5 piece.
I am an old guy. I can understand why younger bands would not want me in their band, talent level not even considered. Perhaps they are not just looking at it from a musical point of view, but are wanting to put a stage act together that requires a certain image based on a certain physiognomy.
Which doesn't include white bears or wrinkles.
And, perhaps they want guys that are for the most part green and want to grow musically together. You never know.
I am betting, for example, when Steely Dan first started looking for musicians they probably pissed a lot of guys who thought themselves potential candidates off. Because those guys were doing something completely off the wall and somewhat anathema to what was going on in music at the time.