Credit and the wife

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by time2kill, Apr 23, 2019.

  1. Timcito

    Timcito Member

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    I'm off on a bit of a tangent here, but do we 'deeply' love someone when we marry them? I deeply love my wife now, after 17 years of marriage, but I don't think I did when I first married her. I was certainly very involved with her and felt a binding affection, but 'deeply loved'? I don't think so.
     
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  2. gigs

    gigs Member

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    Get rid of the credit card for her. She either doesn't understand it or probably doesn't want to understand it.
     
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  3. lhallam

    lhallam Member

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    You may want to remind her that the majority of divorces are from money issues.

    My pal is going through the exact same thing, he's retired, she is not, etc. He got the finances under control and now the credit card debt is through the roof once again. His wife will simply not change and blames him for not supporting her inability to budget.
     
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  4. MrSteve

    MrSteve Member

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    Who knows really. Sounded good when I typed it.
     
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  5. Eric Rowland

    Eric Rowland Member

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  6. Tone_Terrific

    Tone_Terrific Supporting Member

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    OP lit a firestorm of opinion and war stories.:rolleyes:
     
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  7. Lance

    Lance Member

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    Hey, it could be a lot worse. Had a buddy that used to live in SF too. He worked at Schwab and made decent money. She worked at a big downtown bank in loan processing, and made decent money too. Well, one day his CC, nor debit card worked. He was like, "What, I KNOW there is a lot of money there!" He asked wifey about it, and it turned out she had cleaned out EVERYTHING they had and it was all blown on cocaine!
     
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  8. Madsen

    Madsen Member

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    A buddy of mine & I like to joke around about measuring a persons wealth by how long of a "coke & whores" bender you can afford to go on.
     
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  9. Lance

    Lance Member

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    :spit
     
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  10. Peteyvee

    Peteyvee Premium Platinum Member

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    I once worked with two guys who were also roommates. One guy was literally about 400 lbs and the other weighed maybe 160. One day the bosses wife asked them who did the cooking at home and the skinny guy said "I do all the cooking for both of us and he washes the dishes." Then she asked how he managed to to make enough food for both of them. He replied "Oh, it's easy. I just cook for four people and eat a normal serving." Then someone else blurted out "That's good, we were worried he was gonna cook you and eat you."

    All of my cards are with one bank. They had better follow my instructions or I'll dump their asses, even after banking with them for 40 years... :D
     
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  11. Gasp100

    Gasp100 Supporting Member

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    It amazes me how some people don't take creditors seriously and are completely willing to accept bankruptcy as an option (sometimes multiple times).
    Totally saying "**** it" takes some balls and IMHO doesn't put you much above criminal in my book. My brother went through a ton of problems, got his life straightened out then married a woman who's vice was shopping / credit card debt.
    I think they are finally getting their **** together after many years because I don't receive collection calls for them much anymore.
    My advice to those people is GROW UP!
     
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  12. Gasp100

    Gasp100 Supporting Member

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    OMG her allowance... this is classic, you are my hero. Does she get extra bonuses for doing anything cool?
     
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  13. Heinz57Pep

    Heinz57Pep Member

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    Dump your financial burden onto everyone else, then do it again and again...what's not to like?
     
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  14. Metalflange

    Metalflange Supporting Member

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    57% of marriages end in divorce due to money fights and money problems. I would consider watching this

    I would also consider attending this together as a couple.

    https://www.daveramsey.com/store/pr...tent=Financial Peace University#in-progress=1

    This may be a pivotal moment in the change and transformation of your marriage my Fiance' and I attended this class and it completely changed my habits with money because I was blowing everything I got on guitar equipment. I have eliminated roughly 12,000 in debt over the last 12 months and we are cash flowing a wedding that will be just shy of 30000. I can guarantee if you get into this guys wisdom and do this class together you will not regret it! Also she is an insane saver got frustrated with me for spending 14.30 on her due to us paying for the wedding in cash. She did just buy me a VOLANTE however to fulfill my Strymon masterpiece collection. If you apply these principals I promise you it will fix this problem1
     
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  15. Nelly

    Nelly Member

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    Really? My wife and I never even spend $75 on groceries in a week! Mostly fresh healthy foods that we prepare ourselves. The supermarkets here have a minimum spend for delivery (around $50), we rarely spend that much.

    To spend $275 we would have to be shopping in Harrods. What did she get? A few lobsters?
     
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  16. twoheadedboy

    twoheadedboy Member

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    It appears that you've missed or ignored a couple of major red flags. I know you love your wife, but it's very dangerous to marry someone who can't handle money.

    Now that you're in this situation, I think you and your wife should see a counselor to work on healthy strategies for handling money together. IMHO, it is not healthy for you to control and monitor everything.
     
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2019
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  17. Drew816

    Drew816 Supporting Member

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    $275 in groceries for the TWO of you? What the heck did she buy? That's a lot of Oreos and Pork Rinds, hopefully not eaten together, though... ;)

    My wife is more frugal than I, I was never crazy or seriously in debt but I haven't had a car payment in over 20 years, pay cash and plan out what I'm going to buy (if and when that happens). Guitars and gear are "somewhat" on the outside of that, but I haven't made a true impulse buy in years, no debt, plan purchases, etc.

    In the OP's case, yep, remove the Credit Card and had her an envelop of cash for the week; done. It's tactile, you can see the totals in person and what's available, no discussions, that's it. Sounds like she has a history of issues with this, you're just trying to help and keep BOTH of you in the clear, etc. And if she wants new shoes, save your cash and in a month you can get them. Family purchases like groceries you'll have to make, that's the burden you'll or you go together and manage directly. It's a hassle but oversight often is.

    Condescending? No, how many adults can you rattle off the top of your head that can't manage your money? My father doesn't have a dime to his name, makes a crazy amount every month in retirement and is in debt on top of that and has nothing to show for it; how is that possible? I have a neighbor down the street that literally makes twice as I make per year, he barely works to boot and is so far in debt it's crazy. Two brand new cars (he paid full price for because he was in a rush, he liked the salesman, etc.) and both are really nice cars, spoils his kids, etc. etc. He's almost 50, and has the money management IQ of a 14 year old, honestly. Hold on, my 14 year old's have been sense then he does... And why is he alone, his ex-wife gave up trying to break him of these habits for 15 years and finally threw in the towel. He made the money, he wouldn't listen and...

    Work through it, patience, reinforcement and best of luck.
     
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  18. Studio420Ben

    Studio420Ben Member

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    Pick up yer guitar and go to a quiet place and write a blues tune. Good luck mate :cool:
     
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  19. Peteyvee

    Peteyvee Premium Platinum Member

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    Depends on where they live too. We'll spend $200 on groceries here in LA (fresh healthy foods that we prepare ourselves) and it lasts about 2 weeks. At our rural Florida house, I can go to the local Winn-Dixie or Publix, buy the exact same stuff and spend half of what we do here. Our minimum for delivery is also $100, not $50 too. Some places are much more expensive to live than others and that includes groceries.
     
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  20. Bolt VanderHuge

    Bolt VanderHuge Member

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