Daughter and wife want to get a dog. How can I defuse this?

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by NB_Terry, Apr 29, 2016.

  1. NB_Terry

    NB_Terry Member

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    I love pets. I had cats and dogs for 20 years; paid huge vet bills, loved the pets, but hated the mess.

    We're not a very tidy household, and I work from home.

    Wife and 7 year old daughter will leave me at home with this dog 70% of the year, and leave a mess in the backyard to clean and a dog to walk when it's -20.

    How do I get around this without being the bad guy?

    Maybe a foster house for pets?

    I like dogs better than cats, but cats are less work.
     
  2. SteveO

    SteveO Member

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    Move out.
     
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  3. Stratonator

    Stratonator Member

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    You're not the bad guy if you'd be stuck with the lion's share of the work.

    Honestly, I'd stick to my guns. 99% of the time, kids want a dog and never contribute in any way in taking actual care of him.

    Everybody is different but I'd use the opportunity to teach the kid about responsibility and how it's unfair and not very nice to dump most of the responsibility on somebody else just because she wants something.

    And then, I'd suggest something that is lower-maintenance like a fish.
     
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  4. 84superchamp

    84superchamp Silver Supporting Member

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    yessir. draw up a contract (or bring it up for discussion) before the dog comes to the house. they may change their minds.
     
  5. NB_Terry

    NB_Terry Member

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    I like this idea.

    I think teaching a 7 yr old guitar is too young, so is expecting a 7 yr old to take care of a dog.

    A gerbil or hamster might be a good compromise.
     
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  6. Stratonator

    Stratonator Member

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    Life lessons like being empathetic to YOUR plight, what responsibility is, and what it would be in the case of a dog, how a gerbil would fit you guys' lifestyle MUCH better would be great concepts for her to grasp.

    I'd suggest presenting that last part in a way that'd be exciting for her. And have her be excited about choosing the exact gerbil she wants! And also the name. Maybe that'd be enough of a hook to reel her in.

    Think you're doing the right thing here, bud. Don't know how much convincing your wife will need, though. Good luck.
     
  7. monwobobbo

    monwobobbo Member

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    how involved will the mrs be? if she's willing to be responsible then maybe this could work. i'd suggest a small dog they make far less of a mess. something like a chihuahua isn't to far from a cat. they sit in your lap like one.
     
  8. NB_Terry

    NB_Terry Member

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    Wife will barely lift a finger.

    I don't want a tiny dog, but I can get a long with a medium sized dog.

    I also have the feeling that when I'm out of town, inlaws will have to have access to my house to care for and walk the dog.

    Bad idea all around.
     
  9. Matt Jones

    Matt Jones Member

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    Well I'll speak from experience in this area and say that hamsters stink no matter how much you clean the cage. As soon as they pee it smells very bad.
     
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  10. Tone_Terrific

    Tone_Terrific Supporting Member

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    .
    Everybody has to want the dog.
    Everybody has to look after it. (any pet actually)
    Your situation sounds great IF that was the case.
     
  11. NB_Terry

    NB_Terry Member

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    Perhaps taking her for horse riding lessons would be a good plan.

    Things are kind of tense in the household.

    If I say no to a pet, I'm the bad guy, If I say yes to a pet I'll be picking up **** and I will definitely not be a happy guy.
     
  12. flatfinger

    flatfinger Member

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    Wifey bargained to walk pooch half the time.........
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    you will be the bad guy doing all the work !! Enjoy !
     
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  13. Pedro58

    Pedro58 Member

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    You have bigger issues than the dog request, it seems. Barely lift a finger? Can you say that to her, using kinder words, and give it as the reason you're saying "No.?" Don't do that in front of the child. But it seems that you're communicating better to us than to her. She might surprise you and this could go a long way toward a better understanding between you.
     
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  14. NB_Terry

    NB_Terry Member

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    You're very perceptive...
     
  15. Stratonator

    Stratonator Member

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    I agree with this. If both parents are on the same page, it doesn't matter what the daughter wants. Parents make rules and decisions. The tough situations I read here are when the parents disagree and nobody's willing to compromise.

    OP, talk to the wife, explain all the reasons why it'd be a bad idea and suggest the idea of a smaller more manageable low-maintenance pet. Since I'm sensitive to noises and smells, I'd personally go for a fish. Also, if they die, it might be as simple as getting another one that looks identical to avoid the child feeling emotionally distraught.
     
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  16. Pedro58

    Pedro58 Member

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    Not really, just experienced! But thank you for the compliment. I'll take it!
     
  17. Ampedusa

    Ampedusa Member

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  18. lp_bruce

    lp_bruce Member

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    Just give in. You know you want one. I mean..... come on..

    [​IMG]

    Peace,
     
  19. Darkburst

    Darkburst Member

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    You're not the bad guy by saying "no". As the parent it's your job to establish rules and boundaries. Explain that a dog a big responsibility and that she's not old enough to handle all the tasks involved to take care of a dog.
     
  20. sixstringfuel

    sixstringfuel Hotdogs kill Silver Supporting Member

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    Everyone knows the whole idea of the dog responsibility agreement goes right out the window as soon as I'm gonna stay overnight at so and so's house or I got homework I have to do. Or honey I am watching my shows can you walk the dog. And if you mow your lawn do you see your wife or kid saying hold on before you mow I will get the $hit up for you.
    But in the end when them two are pissed off at you the dog will still worship the ground you walk on.
    Good luck with the decision!

    I'm a dog person always have been. Puppies are cute monsters covered in soft fur!
     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2016
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