Emporium guys: no need to be rude...

Jon Silberman

10Q Jerry & Dickey
Silver Supporting Member
Messages
40,657
Not really

A flippant comment made in a thread is an altogether different thing than one made in actual negotiations to buy an item.
You've given me an idea for a new emporium slogan: "Better flippant than rude!" ;)
 

Jon Silberman

10Q Jerry & Dickey
Silver Supporting Member
Messages
40,657
Wow.... page after page of people arguing over if it’s okay to be a dick.....

Question is do these folks just like to argue semantics online for the fun of arguing, or is this really how they operate in their daily life ?

If you say, imply, suggest etc, your doing soemthing, then do it, if not, you can come off as a dick. Now there is no law against being a dick, but do you really want to be one ?

Does anyone want to associate with a dick?

Ever hear someone say “I’ve got a coworker who is a total dick... I can’t stand the guy but we hang out on weekends simply because I respect his right to be a dick”. ?

I doubt it, people say “that dudes a dick” and spend time instead with people they like, or buy and sell gear from people who aren’t .

If your a known dick, I’m not even going to bother responding to a message. Your free to be one still, and I’m free to not buy or sell from you.
Or maybe resorting to dismissing others who disagree with you by obnoxiously repeating an immature 6th grade slur is what makes one a dick.
 

Yam the BOMB

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
2,465
I am upfront when i am selling - i will not "hold" an item if you say you want it unless you put down a deposit of some sort. Had a local deal get ugly with a buyer who was good with communication but came to check out the item without money in hand. Ok...so they promise me that next weekend they will have the money. I am clear that nothing is for certain if another buyer comes along.

Had to tell them today that I was sorry but someone else with cash in hand bought it.

"Oh that was such a dick move...we had a deal!" .... um, no we didn't.
That same guy would have felt ZERO sense of obligation if you would have turned other buyers away because you were holding it for "we had a deal guy" and then he decides to not buy it for some reason. In fact he would have felt like you were a sucker and being a jerk if you tried to make him feel committed.

People who say they are definitely buying something but do not INSTANTLY pay you or pay a substancial amount of non-refundable deposit are never to be taken seriously. No one should EVER give them the impression that you will hold something for them. If you need to "talk to your wife, go to the bank, wait until payday, sell your car, etc." that's fine. Go do that stuff and then call me to see if I still have it for sale. That's how it works.
 

Bodhisattva

Member
Messages
2,206
I've come to realize that buying and selling music gear on the Internet is roughly on par with dealing with people on a dating site. They are all hot to trot one minute then cold fish once the New Kid In Town comes along. I had a guy drive up (to nashville) from Mississippi to buy my Martin OM only to stop by a local guitar store and buy something else, and another guy coming to buy a 335, texting emailing all week to setup a time place, only to ghost me on the day of transaction.

Seems to be more about the dopamine rush of The New rather than acquiring and playing cool gear. I think the notion that I've been guilty of having "well i'm going to buy this shiny new thing since i can just sell that Martin/335 or whatever" is not as valid anymore thanks to the fickle and flaky nature of this hobby.

I respected the Martin guy because he called me from Gruhn's to tell me he'd done lost that loving feelin, but the ghosting guy..... F that. Be a grown-ass man and communicate. People plan and take time out of their day to deal with this stuff and the least you can do is let them know this deal isn't going to happen.
 

saltbird

Member
Messages
1,570
I am fully convinced that 99% of people who ask a set of questions about an item are drunk and have no idea why they are even asking questions. When you reply with details, they ghost. I understand what you need to deal with when selling gear, but it is always amazing....
This is why it really is helpful to list all the details, even the seemingly verbose ones. The fewer amount of inquiries you'll need to respond to, often ends up saving you more time in the long run. I also know that as a buyer, at least for me personally, I'm more likely to purchase something when the seller thoroughly describes the exact item at hand. It just makes it seem more trustworthy and genuine overall.
 

Peanut73

Staff member
Gold Supporting Member
Messages
343
I once tried to buy a piece of gear in the Emporium where the seller stated in his ad that the first person to send the funds would be the buyer, and no holds. When I contacted the seller offering to PayPal immediately, he responded that the guitar wasn't sold yet, but he was holding it for someone who promised to pay him the next day. People are pretty lame, even here.
 

Emigre

Member
Messages
3,371
I've come to realize that buying and selling music gear on the Internet is roughly on par with dealing with people on a dating site. They are all hot to trot one minute then cold fish once the New Kid In Town comes along. I had a guy drive up (to nashville) from Mississippi,
I was wondering where you were going with this :D
 

Andres6and8

Member
Messages
297
Seriously, have some level of class if you're buying/selling. The rudeness and name calling isn't needed.
OK, have some "class," got it.

If you don't have my money in your Paypal, I haven't "committed to buying" your item.
Wait, I thought you just told us to have som-

Just because I messaged you saying I'd like to buy it, and then someone else with the same item messaged me back before you did, doesn't mean you get to chew me out.
Oh I get it. "Having class" must be a one way street!
 

DRS

Member
Messages
11,182
Not really. As a general rule if a potential buyer says something along the lines of "I want to buy your advertised item at your asking price (or at a price you agreed to accept during negotiations}, send me your Paypal information so I can pay," and the Paypal information is then sent by the seller, a legally enforceable contract has been formed and the buyer then is not legally free to walk away. There may be cases where there are some terms that have not been resolved, e.g., ambiguity about where the item is going to be shipped to (e.g., USA vs. another country), and in this case one might say there has not been a "meeting of the minds" and therefore no contract, but I would think this is the exception. But realistically, even where there is a meeting of the minds and formation of a contract virtually no one is going to file a lawsuit over something like this (well, unless we are talking about something like a '59 burst, in which case maybe). That, however, should not be confused to mean a legally enforceable contract has not been entered into.
You truly believe this is the law?
 

pjs ire

Member
Messages
6,573
Wow.... page after page of people arguing over if it’s okay to be a dick.....

Question is do these folks just like to argue semantics online for the fun of arguing, or is this really how they operate in their daily life ?

If you say, imply, suggest etc, your doing soemthing, then do it, if not, you can come off as a dick. Now there is no law against being a dick, but do you really want to be one ?

Does anyone want to associate with a dick?

Ever hear someone say “I’ve got a coworker who is a total dick... I can’t stand the guy but we hang out on weekends simply because I respect his right to be a dick”. ?

I doubt it, people say “that dudes a dick” and spend time instead with people they like, or buy and sell gear from people who aren’t .

If your a known dick, I’m not even going to bother responding to a message. Your free to be one still, and I’m free to not buy or sell from you.
A “known dick”, you say....
 

Rufus

Member
Messages
1,715
You truly believe this is the law?
Yes, that is the law. Practically speaking, no one would make an effort to enforce it, but offer + acceptance = a legal contract. Of course, there is nuance in every deal and the particulars matter, but this is an accurate statement of the law, generally.
 

Machew

Member
Messages
1,661
I'm selling something right now.. I realize most folks that are asking questions have no intention on buying it.. its cool, I enjoy talking to people about amps. The guys who are serious normally say the following: "I'll take it, send me your paypal addy" not a lot of fuss or fanfare.. That's what I do anyway!
Gives you ideas to what you might have missed in your ad.
 
Messages
1,467
What cracks me up is the low ball offer followed up by dismay that the item sold to someone else. No, an offer does not grant you exclusive negotiating rights.
 

middlechainringguy

PV = nRT
Gold Supporting Member
Messages
1,842
This is what an honorable human does. When in doubt, imagine the transaction taking place face to face, with all parties present, and do the right thing.
Face to face transactions among professional market participants can have different standards of honor from dealings with your neighbor. (I think there are a few members here who spent time in the CBOT pit or similar places. They’re probably puking over the fact that this is even a subject for a thread.) The Emporium operates in between these sets of expectations for honor - which is great but which can also produce hard feelings at the margin.
 


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