Favorite Rodney Dangerfield line?

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by freedom's door, Feb 21, 2015.

  1. freedom's door

    freedom's door Supporting Member

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    Rodney is the only comic i ever went to see live, i loved the guy.
    My favorite line is actually from Back To School-

    "The war's over, get new parts for your head" :rotflmao

     
  2. Peteyvee

    Peteyvee Premium Platinum Member

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    "My wife said to take her someplace that she'd never been before, so I took her to the kitchen."
    :rimshot
     
  3. John Coloccia

    John Coloccia Cold Supporting Member

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    I love my wife. She gives great headache.
     
  4. DYNA BILL

    DYNA BILL Member

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  5. Hwoltage

    Hwoltage Member

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    "This is the worst looking hat I ever saw. You buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup. Oh, but it looks goon you, though!"

    "Hey whitey, where's your hat!?"

    "Ok! You can owe me!"

    "Hey, Smails! How 'bout that grand you owe me!?"

    :rotflmao :rotflmao :rotflmao

    Good ol' Caddyshack.
     
  6. redeyedjim

    redeyedjim Silver Supporting Member

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    "A woman told me for two hundred dollars she'd do anything I wanted.
    I said great, paint my house"
     
  7. Tom CT

    Tom CT Old Supporting Member Gold Supporting Member

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    I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said "Are you Louise?" She said, "Are you Rodney?" I said, "Yeah." She said, "I'm not Louise."
     
  8. dcbc

    dcbc Member

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    My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
     
  9. jelloman

    jelloman Member

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    You must have been something before electricity...
     
  10. Fuzzles

    Fuzzles Member

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    One of his last jokes:

    Upon entering the hospital, he uttered another characteristic one-liner when asked how long he would be hospitalized: "If all goes well, about a week. If not, about an hour and a half."
     
  11. Suave Eddie

    Suave Eddie Member

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    Ask your doctor if lobotomy is for you.
    The first time I had sex I was so scared ........ I was all alone!
     
  12. ACfixer

    ACfixer Member

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    I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said "No, I hate myself now."
     
  13. Guitarworks

    Guitarworks Member

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    "We used to get along great. Now our relationship is fallin' apart like a Chinese motorcycle."
     
  14. teledude55

    teledude55 Member

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    "my Proctologist used to be a Photographer, taking an x-ray, he told me to bend over and say "Cheese.""
     
  15. John Coloccia

    John Coloccia Cold Supporting Member

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    I went to the proctologist the other day. He stuck his finger in my mouth.
     
  16. John Coloccia

    John Coloccia Cold Supporting Member

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    How about Henny Youngman...

    A doctor gave the guy 6 months to live. He couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another 6 months.
     
  17. joe_jr

    joe_jr Supporting Member

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    I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
     
  18. John Coloccia

    John Coloccia Cold Supporting Member

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    I was an ugly kid. When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother.
     
  19. freedom's door

    freedom's door Supporting Member

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    :rotflmao

    Classic- keep 'em coming!!!
     
  20. DrumBob

    DrumBob Gold Supporting Member

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    My doctor-Dr. Vinnie Boombotz.
     

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