speakerjones
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So, I'm 33 and I've been in bands pretty steadily since I was 15 years old. Early last year the band I was playing with broke up in a rather nasty falling out with the keyboardist/singer and the bassist. We were on the verge of finishing our first album and starting to get some really good gigs. Anyway, the experience kind of soured me on the band thing for a little while. When the singer got a new project together and invited me in, I decided that since my daughter was due to be born soon at that point, that I would rather spend my weekends watching her grow up than sitting in a basement developing yet another band that could very well break up in a year again anyway. Maybe I'm still a little bitter. Whatever.
I don't regret my decision at all. I treasure the time I'm able to spend with my little girl. Watching her grow up has been the single most amazing and humbling experience to me. She thinks I'm a great musician and has been a great audience for me these past 7 months. But I'm also a performer at heart and I honestly miss gigging. I don't want to seem selfish, but it's a true release for me, an itch that home recording, occasional jamming and playing in my living room is not going to scratch. I'm figuring that this summer, after her first birthday, I'm going to slowly ease back into things with an acoustic duo or something and just try playing out once month or so to see how it goes. I don't know.
I guess I just wanted to see how you gigging fathers do it (or did it). How do you juggle time with the family vs. time for music. I hear a lot of stories of how people just gave up on music for a while after they had kids, and are only just getting back into it now that their kids are all grown up. I'm not sure if I can do that and maintain mental health. I quit cigarettes last year too, so I guess I can give up anything, but do you guys know what I'm saying? I feel like being a performing musician is part of my identity, and by giving it up, I'm not being true to myself. But on the other hand, I don't want to miss my daughter growing up. Any advice?
I don't regret my decision at all. I treasure the time I'm able to spend with my little girl. Watching her grow up has been the single most amazing and humbling experience to me. She thinks I'm a great musician and has been a great audience for me these past 7 months. But I'm also a performer at heart and I honestly miss gigging. I don't want to seem selfish, but it's a true release for me, an itch that home recording, occasional jamming and playing in my living room is not going to scratch. I'm figuring that this summer, after her first birthday, I'm going to slowly ease back into things with an acoustic duo or something and just try playing out once month or so to see how it goes. I don't know.
I guess I just wanted to see how you gigging fathers do it (or did it). How do you juggle time with the family vs. time for music. I hear a lot of stories of how people just gave up on music for a while after they had kids, and are only just getting back into it now that their kids are all grown up. I'm not sure if I can do that and maintain mental health. I quit cigarettes last year too, so I guess I can give up anything, but do you guys know what I'm saying? I feel like being a performing musician is part of my identity, and by giving it up, I'm not being true to myself. But on the other hand, I don't want to miss my daughter growing up. Any advice?