Give me some friggen feedback on an original

Discussion in 'Member Video and Sound Clips' started by KaLL, Feb 3, 2012.

  1. KaLL

    KaLL Member

    Messages:
    146
    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2012
    This is a rough take that i'm working to improve. The lyrics in this take are a bit awkward and have been touched up since, and the vocals are amazing but they aren't that bad either.

    Let me know what you think, i would appreciate it.

    [SOUNDCLOUD]http://soundcloud.com/kallanjphillips/wastedepchoirvocalsfalsemaster[/SOUNDCLOUD]
     
  2. buzzp

    buzzp Member

    Messages:
    6,534
    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2011
    Location:
    Charm City (baltimore)
    Dig the guitar, the melody for the most part too. I don't know if its the recording or you, but your vocals are.. "breathy". When the song gets to what I think is the prechorus at 2:03, I like the melody for the first 2 lines, but for the other 2, go higher with it on the 3rd and lower on the 4th or something... whatever you do, don't repeat such a similar melody 4 times in a row. It sounds like its building into something, and then you don't go anywhere.

    Not a bad tune, thats my 3 cents
     
  3. burningyen

    burningyen Vendor

    Messages:
    13,387
    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2002
    Location:
    CT
    I like where it's heading, nice voice and nice guitar sound. I agree that some additional range in the melody at the climax would help. But it really does sound nice.
     
  4. KaLL

    KaLL Member

    Messages:
    146
    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2012
    Cheers for the feedback guys, really appreciated. The vocal recording does help make it sound breathy, but i've decided since this take that i can step it up a key and it reduces that also - so its a bit of both.

    And the melody changes you've described are exactly what i've been working towards, and line up with all the other feedback i've gotten!
     

Share This Page