Hilarious Lyrics's In Song

[hawkeye17]

I was just listening to my mp3's and an old Smith's song called "Frankly Mr. Shankly" came on and it has a laugh out loud line in it:

"I want to live and I want to love, I want to catch something that I might be ashamed of."

What are some of your folks favorite funny lines in songs?

 

[speedtaco]

Here's another of his that I like...
"And if a ten ton truck kills the both of us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die"
Pretty funny in IMHO.

 

[guitgator]

No one ever made me laugh as much as Loudon Wainwright III over the years

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otowPKgdnlg

 

[airwarrior]

Cisco Houston, "I Was Born 100,000 years Ago"-

"I was born a hundred thousand years ago
And there's nothin' in this world I do not know
Why the flag started flying
When George Washington stopped lying
I can lick the man who says that isn't so

I saw Eve and Adam driven from the door
I'm the man who picked the fig leaf that they wore
When the apple they were eating
I was from the bushes peeping
I can prove that I'm the man that ate the core

Queen Elizabeth, she fell in love with me, poor girl
We were married in Milwaukee secretly
Then I snuck around and shook her
'Cause I went with General Hooker
Just to fight mosquitoes down in Tennessee

I saw Noah when he built his famous ark
I slipped into it one night when it was dark
I saw Jonah swallow the whale
And I pulled the lion's tale
Then I crossed the land of Canaan on a lark

I taught Solomon his little ABC's
And I helped Brigham Young invent limburger cheese
Well I sailed out on the bay
With Methuselah one day
And I saved his flowing whiskers from the breeze"



Great song with hilarious lyrics. I always get a smile singing along with this one.

 

[The Golden Boy]

"I'm a cold Italian pizza..."

 

[The Last Rebel]

"She wanna' pearl necklace... and that's not jewelry she's talkin' about"

Most of ZZ Top's material from Deguello forward had some slick innuendo.

 

[robyogi]

Maybe my sense of humor is a bit sick, but a lot of Warren Zevon's stuff makes me laugh.

 

[joachiml]

Some of Turbonegro's stuff is hilarious.

Bad Mongo's a good one:
Run back home and lock the door / The streets ain't safe no more / Wild eyes and a dribbling tongue / He likes murder and he likes wrong

Bad Mongo - gonna kick you in the face / Bad Mongo - gonna schtompf you in the eye / Bad Mongo - gonna make you crawl and beg /Before he makes you die

Sailor Man ain't to bad either:
Oh sailor man / I sure hope you don't drown / I'd rather have you showing me Cape Town / You know your way in New York, New York / Where we can go to bars /
A strong blonde handsome sailor / Norwegians call you Lars

 

[Gas-man]

Vince Gill--"It's hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your ass out all day long"

 

[twinrider1]

You took the words right outta my mouth....
Must've been when you were kissin' me.

That one always give me a chuckle.

 

[atquinn]

Lots of Robyn Hitchcock's lyrics are funny, including the whole of "Uncorrected Personality Traits"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHlEroy7gkM

-Austin

 

[Ryan]

Maybe my sense of humor is a bit sick, but a lot of Warren Zevon's stuff makes me laugh.

Werewolves of London...AooooooooooooooOOOOOOOO!!

 

[bluesjunior]

Anything by Weird Al Jankovich or even earlier Alan Sherman.
"Hello mother, hello father, here I am from camp Granada"

 

[Gary]

Give me back the wig I bought ya
Give me back my one glass eye
Give me back the teeth I loaned ya
Baby don't ya say goodbye
And when I take my pegleg
you're gonna break down and cry

 

[Bankston]

Any Sublime song.

 

[jrm]

Fountains of Wayne has some clever and funny lyrics.

 

[Lance]

40's Theme by Umphrey's McGee

Got your barbecue sauce
and your chicken wings
Throw it in your deep fryer
Burning chili set your heart on fire

Think you've got real soul
Eating chickens by the whole
And make a stop at your liquor store
And go pick yourself up a couple of 40's

Your brother, your mother, your father, your sister,
your cousins, your daughter, Your brother your father
and your house pets

Now the grill be hot (Hot as balls)
So throw the flesh down (s-s-s-s-s)
Beans and cheese and pork fritter
Tomorrow you'll be sufferin on the shitter

 

[mcdonaldkd]

In barlight, she looked alright
In daylight, she looked desperate.
That's alright, I was desperate too.

- The Hold Steady

 

[aftguitar94]

I've been to hell. I spell it...I spell it DMV
Anyone that's been there knows precisely what I mean
Stood there and I've waited and choked back the urge to scream
And if I had my druthers I'd screw a chimpanzee-call it pointless

When I need relief I spell it THC
Perhpas you may know vaguely what I mean
I sit back and smoke away huge chunks of memory
As I slowly inflict upon myself a full lobotomy-call it pointless

Barbecues, tea kettles, gobs of axle grease
There comes a time for every man to sail the seas of cheese
Now, life's a bowl of bagel dogs, but there are unpleasantries
Cold toilet seats, dentist chairs and trips to DMV-call it pointless

I've been to hell. I spell it...I spell it DMV
Anyone that's been there knows precisely what I mean
I've stood in line and waited near an hour and fifteen
And if I had my druthers I'd screw that chimpanzee-call it pointless


-DMV by Primus

 

[wooldl]

Greasy Granny's Gravy, it'll make you sing
it'll shrivel up your pecker, make you your nostril sting
rot out your teeth and make your left ear ring
we love our Greasy Granny.
- Govt Mule w/ Les Claypool