How do you deal with bodily functions whilst on-stage?

Discussion in 'The Sound Hound Lounge' started by Hecube, Feb 6, 2012.

  1. Hecube

    Hecube Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,810
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2008
    Location:
    Au nord du Big Bang
    Sneezing, coughing, #1 and #2, others, etc...
     
  2. JDW3

    JDW3 Member

    Messages:
    3,624
    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2005
    Location:
    Below Flint
    Tell the drummer to do a solo...
     
  3. Bussman

    Bussman Member

    Messages:
    2,527
    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2006
    Location:
    Montreal, Canada
    LOL! Hecube, you are such a card.
     
  4. Melodyman

    Melodyman Member

    Messages:
    2,342
    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2004
    Location:
    Western New York
    Awhile back someone posted that they played with a drummer who had a hole cut out in the middle of his stool with a bucket underneath for dropping a deuce.
     
  5. Hecube

    Hecube Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,810
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2008
    Location:
    Au nord du Big Bang
    Those are serious questions!
     
  6. EricPeterson

    EricPeterson Member

    Messages:
    48,498
    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2006
    Location:
    Under the Big Sky
    take a cue from GG Allin.
     
  7. Hecube

    Hecube Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,810
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2008
    Location:
    Au nord du Big Bang
    ???
     
  8. clothwiring

    clothwiring Supporting Member

    Messages:
    6,734
    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2006
    Location:
    Central NY
    Bass solo, drum solo. I'll put guitar down and run to the bathroom.
     
  9. Bussman

    Bussman Member

    Messages:
    2,527
    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2006
    Location:
    Montreal, Canada
    Do it on stage, in front of everyone. That's the GG Allin way.
     
  10. Hecube

    Hecube Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,810
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2008
    Location:
    Au nord du Big Bang
    No thank you.
     
  11. Dave2512

    Dave2512 Member

    Messages:
    5,775
    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2011
    Fergie knows the answer to this one.
     
  12. Stratoben127

    Stratoben127 Member

    Messages:
    4,771
    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2011
    Location:
    Nashville
    I was playing a really long cover of Voodoo child as the last song at a gig a few months ago and the whole time I felt a major bout of Diarrhea coming on so I gave my guitar to the drummer at the end of the song, ran like lightning, liquified every part of the bar's bathroom and blamed it on the bassist.
     
  13. Rockledge

    Rockledge Member

    Messages:
    2,885
    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2011
    Location:
    mars
    I am not thinking I would want to be in that band.

    I can't say I have ever had a problem with this. If you cough, sneeze, or fart, so what?
    As far as getting rid of processed food and drink, that is what between set breaks are for.

    One trick fora bad cough, suck on a clove. You know cloves, women cook with them, keep them in their spice racks.
    They work as good as any cough meds I have ever used at holding a cough at bay. Not perfect but they sure help.
     
  14. stevel

    stevel Member

    Messages:
    12,963
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2008
    Location:
    Hampton Roads, Virginia
    1. Stay healthy and eat right - this solves a lot of those problems.

    But, a sneeze or a cough, can't help. Turn away from the mic and as discreetly as possible, let it go in a corner. Come to think of it, same thing for belches and farts.

    For #1, I have a song in every set that I don't have to play on in case of an emergency. It helps of course if I don't drink. But we used to have a "synth" song that I could get away without playing on and I would say "play this now" and run to the head.

    Really it's unprofessional but what can I say - party band+small bladder = commercial you see on late night TV.

    For #2 - if that happens, I'm stopping everything and just going (not on stage of course). Luckily, I seem to be able to control that one much better. I had a drummer that wouldn't ever go in a club (too dirty) so he'd run across the street to the Harris Teeter, or Walgreens - he was one of those guys who knew where all the cleanest johns in town were, and which ones were open 24 hours.

    P.S. For some reason, it just so happens I always seem to eat beans before a gig. Poor drummers behind me ;-)

    Steve
     
  15. stevel

    stevel Member

    Messages:
    12,963
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2008
    Location:
    Hampton Roads, Virginia
    Updated for the 21st century :)
     
  16. Rockledge

    Rockledge Member

    Messages:
    2,885
    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2011
    Location:
    mars
    I meant it like I posted it. Reality is the same no matter what the date is. No matter how sick and twisted society becomes.
     
  17. EricPeterson

    EricPeterson Member

    Messages:
    48,498
    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2006
    Location:
    Under the Big Sky
    WTF are you talking about? Now if I cook dinner instead of my wife society is sick and twisted? Be careful what you post here I hear women are allowed to read now.
     
  18. cvansickle

    cvansickle Supporting Member

    Messages:
    10,942
    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2004
    Location:
    Atlanta, GA USA
    Classic!

    [​IMG]
     
  19. Rockledge

    Rockledge Member

    Messages:
    2,885
    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2011
    Location:
    mars
    I can certainly see why bodily functions would be a bit of a problem for some...
     
  20. gennation

    gennation Member

    Messages:
    6,717
    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2006
    Location:
    Grand Rapids, MI
    If I go, I leave the stage and go. I usually keep kleenex's in my pocket or something if I need to wipe my nose. If I'm coughing of sneezing I usually act like I'm really rockin' out and just use my blues-face.
     

Share This Page