I had a really weird day today.

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by DYNA BILL, Apr 19, 2016.

  1. DYNA BILL

    DYNA BILL Member

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    I was driving home from work and was picking my nose, had a bad case of dried boogers, you know, the ones that hurt when you make a face like Rowdy McDowell in " Planet of the Apes", but then I hit a bump in the road and .........no wait, that's not right.......oh yea, then I realized that I was off the road and in the pasture, but it was the fleas, yes the fleas!! Had to be the fleas from at least a thousand camels,I had this itching like crazy in my left armpit, I started clawing away like a madman!! I was making significant progress in relief of the flea problem, then I hit a bump in the road and ..........no wait, that's not right, oh yea, I was back on the road again and steadily gaining speed, hit a bump and realized that I had a severe case of "monkey butt" but I showered this morning!! What's up with this! Now I'm confused about taking Nexium. My heartburn is under control, but I think my kidneys are in trouble because my Depends are wet! Dadgum Nexium, does NOT help one bit with boogers.......just saying!!
    So I'm home now drinking away the ills of my day.....
     
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  2. worxforme

    worxforme Supporting Member

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    Sounds like you need Thorazine
     
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  3. armadillo66

    armadillo66 Member

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    here, a little "Thorazine Shuffle" will make everyting gonna be jist right"
     
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  4. Nurk2

    Nurk2 "Ignore Everybody" ~Hugh MacLeod

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    2HBStrat, is that you?
     
  5. sanrico

    sanrico Member

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    stopped reading after the first few words of the first sentence...
     
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  6. DYNA BILL

    DYNA BILL Member

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    Quitter....:p
     
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  7. tenchijin2

    tenchijin2 Supporting Member

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    Rowdy McDowell?
     
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  8. DPEXP

    DPEXP Member

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    Put on your tan pants, grab a PRS and just relax.
     
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  9. DYNA BILL

    DYNA BILL Member

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    Now THIS guy paid attention!!! :)
     
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  10. T Dizz

    T Dizz Member

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    ah yes, the dreaded " Monkey Butt"
     
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  11. Eric Rowland

    Eric Rowland Supporting Member

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  12. derekd

    derekd Supporting Member

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    Are you sure you hadn't imbibed a bit before posting this?
     
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  13. Scrapperz

    Scrapperz Member

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    That's hell of a story man, watch where your going next time. It might be easier if you scratched you arm pit with your right foot while you pick your nose with your left hand since then you'll be able to steer with your right hand. I can't help you with the monkey butt or any of the other ailments, lol.
     
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  14. 2HBStrat

    2HBStrat Member

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    THANKS! Nobody should ever again make fun of my posts......
     
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  15. DYNA BILL

    DYNA BILL Member

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    Wanna bet? :D
     
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  16. Raygun Gothic

    Raygun Gothic Member

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    Mokney Butt?!! :confused

    Is that like swamp ass?
     
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  17. spyeman

    spyeman Supporting Member

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    Is that plain ole Monkey Butt, or Rowdy McDowell Planet of The Apes type Monkey Butt????
     
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  18. Heinz57Pep

    Heinz57Pep Member

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    You, @Dr. Tweedbucket , @Blues Power and now the OP doing your collective best to out-troll each other is akin to competitive eaters trying to claim the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest crown.
     
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  19. morlll

    morlll Member

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    Put your hand in the depends to see whether they are muddy or just wet. If they are muddy you are dehydrated so please stop for some gator aid at the nearest swamp. Squeezing the gator for it's juice isn't nearly as hard as it seems. Enjoy the process.
     
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  20. FenderBigot

    FenderBigot Supporting Member

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    I really thought you hacked Bill's TGP login. Just sayin.
     
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