I just lost my Wife of 27 years--and I'm Terrified...

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by michael razor, Jun 8, 2017.

  1. Jim S

    Jim S Silver Supporting Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    14,541
    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2002
    Location:
    Incline Village, NV (Lake Tahoe )
    Good lord is that awful. I truly empathize. +++++++++++ VIBES!!
     
    michael razor likes this.
  2. Outsider

    Outsider Member

    Messages:
    280
    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2013
    Very sorry to hear this. You won't stay terrified forever though. You will find a way to piece things together and the dearest memories will never go away. All this in your own good time and on your terms.
     
    michael razor and Someguitarguy like this.
  3. Stratobuc

    Stratobuc Member

    Messages:
    15,943
    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2009
    I am so very sorry for your loss. I had a bulging node a year and a half ago and abdominal pain. Diagnosed with stage 3 NHL. I'm sorry they couldn't catch your wife's in time. I'm still fighting. I hope you can stay strong. If you ever want to talk, buzz me. I wish you all the best going forward.
     
    michael razor likes this.
  4. Blueswede

    Blueswede Gold Supporting Member

    Messages:
    2,553
    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2003
    Location:
    Sunny So Cal
    My sincere prayers for you....so sorry to hear of your loss....
     
    michael razor likes this.
  5. bluesdoc

    bluesdoc Gold Supporting Member Gold Supporting Member

    Messages:
    13,289
    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2002
    Location:
    Santa Rosa, CA
    So very sorry..... :(
    Bad things happen to good people.....

    jon
     
    michael razor likes this.
  6. Kurt L

    Kurt L Member

    Messages:
    3,967
    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2007
    Location:
    Outer Austin, TX
    I don't know you at all but still pray you and your family find some peace.
     
    michael razor likes this.
  7. Zandalf

    Zandalf I don't remember

    Messages:
    787
    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2012
    Location:
    Brooklyn
    Death Don't Have No Mercy In This Land...

    My last 3 years: Sister & parents dead; almost me from weird internal bleeding; Wife's good friend killed by car; wife now has Stg. 4 lung cancer... it sucks to get sick/old & die.

    But.

    Having looked into lifeafterdeath, unless you're evil, apparently, it's like coming home... THIS is all a game we play.... but - at least we get to play guitar!

    Peace
     
  8. Bogner

    Bogner Member

    Messages:
    6,674
    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2006
    Location:
    USA
    I am incredibly sorry to hear this Michael. I will be praying for you. I have been through a similar situation and the best advice I could give you out of my experience is to take things one second...one minute.....one hour....one day at a time. There is no wrong timeframe. Keep your expectations open and real. You are in a place you have never been before. I can assure you that it will get better. Don't isolate yourself and don't be afraid to talk to those you love and trust. Avoid anything right now that would drain you and cause you further stress. Eat right, exercise in some way if at all possible and get your sleep. Try to build a consistent schedule as it is very easy to go all over the place in a situation like this. Do the things that bring you true joy. It is ok to be a little selfish right now. Do what you need to do. I found that writing helped me a lot. Journals, letters, anything to express what I was feeling/dealing with was a positive thing for me. I don't know if you are a religious guy or not, but I found comfort in church and writing scriptures and positive things on notes and placing them wherever I went in the house. I would say positive things, talk to myself, encourage myself....I was able to pull my way out of it and that was a big thing for me. If you need a friend, you have one in me. You are welcome to PM me here and talk if you like. We can talk if you like, anything you need...I will do my best to help you Michael. If you choose not to take me up on my offers, I get it and just want you to know I am praying for you. Again, I am incredibly sorry for your loss.
     
  9. lespaultazz

    lespaultazz Member

    Messages:
    379
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2015
    Sorry for ur loss, bless her and u
     
    michael razor likes this.
  10. will richardson

    will richardson The Tennessee to California Connection Silver Supporting Member

    Messages:
    344
    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2006
    I pray for you this night My Brother. Feel Your feelings but make sure the pain is accompanied by dwelling on things that are good, decent, and things that you loved about your wife and your life. The good stuff is also there to offset the bad, although good has it's own merit.

    Peace and comfort to your soul, Sir. Sleep well this night.

    Respectfully,

    will richardson
     
    michael razor likes this.
  11. Windup 43

    Windup 43 Supporting Member

    Messages:
    5,412
    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Location:
    Inertia
    Thoughts and prayers, so sorry for your loss...take good care.
     
    michael razor likes this.
  12. edgewound

    edgewound Gold Supporting Member

    Messages:
    5,627
    Joined:
    May 20, 2008
    Location:
    Southern California
    My sincere/ heartfelt condolences. When it happens so quickly, it feels like being blindsided...because you are.

    All I can offer is... one day at a time. Prayers for your healing. Hang in there.
     
    michael razor likes this.
  13. teleman1

    teleman1 Supporting Member

    Messages:
    14,074
    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2006
    Location:
    AIRY ZONY
    Haven't read any responses. Unless you happen to be Superman, go get some therapy. It is hard for the human mind to take blows like this. Even if you are the toughest. My condolences.
     
    Windup 43 and michael razor like this.
  14. SmilingDave

    SmilingDave Supporting Member

    Messages:
    451
    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2007
    Location:
    Delaware, Ohio
    I am so sorry to learn about this -- my condolences for your loss. Prayers sent for you and everyone that surrounds you.
     
    michael razor likes this.
  15. Someguitarguy

    Someguitarguy Member

    Messages:
    518
    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2017
    Having visited the other side 18 years ago now I can honestly say that I reminisce almost daily. I was returned against my will and never would have chosen this for myself were it solely my decision only

    I feel for you original poster. Death is so, so difficult for us left behind. Bless you
     
    Zandalf, Route67 and michael razor like this.
  16. MRscratch

    MRscratch Member

    Messages:
    7,314
    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Location:
    vancouver canada
    I don't even know what to say Brother. Im so sorry. You ARE still here and I'm sure your wife would ant you to know that. Take your time and grieve and count on your friends and family and even total strangers for support. This just drives home how precious life is and how it is so important to live it to the fullest.
    we are here for you anytime you want to talk. we will be listening.
    Take care.
    steffen
     
    Zandalf and michael razor like this.
  17. Cropduster

    Cropduster Member

    Messages:
    2,698
    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2008
    Can you tell us more about your experience of "the other side" and why you reminisce positively about it?
     
    michael razor likes this.
  18. standard24

    standard24 Member

    Messages:
    9,096
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2013
    Location:
    San Antonio, Texas
    I'm very sorry. I hope you find some peace.
     
    michael razor likes this.
  19. p.mo

    p.mo Supporting Member

    Messages:
    1,292
    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2013
    Location:
    Sunny New England
    I'm very sorry for your loss. Prayers are with you.

    One day at a time...
     
    Roark and michael razor like this.
  20. RoneB

    RoneB Member

    Messages:
    907
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2009
    Location:
    Boston
    Michael,
    I'm so saddened by your loss I will pray for you, your family and your wife. You walked a path together for many years, now honor her memory as you walk that same path today and each day to come. Don't give up, don't give in, Don't settle for anything less for yourself than she would have allowed.

    I think it's very brave and amazing that you reached out to us and it tells me that you understand the importance of the support you will gain by sharing your feelings with people.

    Stay on the path Michael she is with you always.

    God Bless
     
    Roark, JPF, michael razor and 2 others like this.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice