I'm done with the band thing

[maschoff]

I never wanted to be in a band and have to deal with the pride of the other apes.

I love guitar tone and man cave tone rules. No compromises, I get to play how and what I want.

Program your own drums, play the bass and guitars, sing, mix and master the music you want to make for yourself. If other people like it, great.

Don't tour or gig, it's too time and energy intensive. Everything will go virtual soon anyway and you'll be that much ahead of the game.

 

[TonePilot]

I've been playing for decades. While I love being on a stage the reward just isn't worth the effort any more. Just quit my band because the singer's talent didn't match his ego. Dealing with that kind of crap, schlepping equipment, setting it up, tearing it down, coordinating schedules, booking gigs, dialing in sound, learning songs, losing my hearing, driving home at 3 am, feeling like crap the next day...

I'm done.

That does sound pretty unfun. We all get along and my gear is really light and easy to bring and setup now that I’ve gone full digital. Hope you can find a better way to make music with decent people.

 

[TwoHandsTenThumbs]

Quitting playing in bands was the best thing I ever did for myself as a musician.

That’s when I started teaching myself how to record/mix and thus began the most creative period of my life, which has yet to let up.

Likewise! I had a background / experience with the recording thing, but once I abandoned gigging, and it became my focus, my motivation, creativity, and output grew exponentially. Still don’t miss gigging, but I do miss playing with others. I’m sure that’ll return in time, when I’m ready. I’m alright if it doesn’t.

 

[Yooper]

We determined there are 5 reasons why our band is so successful. Listed in reverse importance.
1. We are all excellent players who respect each other's ability. There are no weak spots, which is rare
2. We have good rules and structure. Everyone has veto power and no one is forced to play anything they dont' want to.
3. Everyone comes prepared and is professional
4. We have a collectively stupid sense of humor.
5. We like whisky.

Ditto. Except substitute "sick sense of humor". But you had me by correctly spelling "whisky".

 

[RevDrucifer]

Likewise! I had a background / experience with the recording thing, but once I abandoned gigging, and it became my focus, my motivation, creativity, and output grew exponentially. Still don’t miss gigging, but I do miss playing with others. I’m sure that’ll return in time, when I’m ready. I’m alright if it doesn’t.

I've gotten the itch to play guitar in a band again and have been looking around Craigslist. I won't be doing any original projects with other people for a while, but I'd love to get in a cover band just to have some fun crankin' up a bit and playing out again. I'm a little better at cutting myself out of sh*tty situations these days than I was when I was in my earlier years, so I don't really worry about getting "stuck" in another one.

 

[John s]

*Craiglist UGH! Good luck. Craigslist is filled with psycho's, druggies, alcoholics, and "wannabe's".
Ask me how I know.

 

[kleptolia]

GCDEF, you should start a YouTube channel about mistakes people make when starting a band. Ideally t would appear thus: “10 Mistakes Noobs Make When Trying to Start a Band! (Number 6 will shrivel your pancreas into onion powder…)”
You’ll do better than you ever did gigging.

 

[Johnny Cache]

I've been playing for decades. While I love being on a stage the reward just isn't worth the effort any more. Just quit my band because the singer's talent didn't match his ego. Dealing with that kind of crap, schlepping equipment, setting it up, tearing it down, coordinating schedules, booking gigs, dialing in sound, learning songs, losing my hearing, driving home at 3 am, feeling like crap the next day...

I'm done.

Totally understand, been there myself now I just play for fun. Don't need the money, wasn't much anyway and commitment, ego's and the politics all suck. Now I play what I like and with who I like.

 

[GenoVox]

I got to this same point over 15 years ago… always planning on getting back into it someday - once my son was in College

By the time it got to that point (he’s now in his late 20s, married and with a successful life of his own), I had developed serious health issues that now prevent me from actively gigging… even if I wanted to

Even the handful of fill-in gigs and guest spots I’ve done in more recent years… quickly reminds me that I don’t really miss it at all

 

[zestystrat]

I hear ya @GCDEF it can get to be frustrating.

After being in a project where I didn't like what was going on, I formed my own. I run an original band that's been gigging since 2003. It's A LOT of work. But I used the field of dreams philosophy (if you build it...) We used to gig constantly and now have slowed down. We all do other projects and time away makes going back to it nicer & more fun.

I would say that musicianship is very important, but so is professionalism and the hang. I know quite a few great (and mediocre) players that I could call for a sub, but if the guy is toxic, who needs them. If the hang is good, a lot of the other stuff is for the most part easy to forgive.

Also, time away from a band scenario is helpful. During lockdown I decide to challenge myself to keep myself motivated:

Learn/study new techniques (I picked up slide and studied Charlie Christian).

Learn logic or Pro tools and get your home studio set up.

Hopefully you'll take time away and come back motivated and filter out the a-holes that suck the joy out of playing.

 

[Knavery]

I've been playing for decades. While I love being on a stage the reward just isn't worth the effort any more. Just quit my band because the singer's talent didn't match his ego. Dealing with that kind of crap, schlepping equipment, setting it up, tearing it down, coordinating schedules, booking gigs, dialing in sound, learning songs, losing my hearing, driving home at 3 am, feeling like crap the next day...

I'm done.

I found out in my 20s I'd had enough of that. Glad I quit and focused on a career where I can make good money. I think I'd get into another band if it was more laid back and we only did a 2-3 gigs a year. But I couldn't handle anything more than that now.

 

[GenoVox]

The worst is shlepping gear in when the weather is miserable out… and the guys that are already hammered chime in with “Hey, the band’s here! Bwahahaha…” as they obliviously stand in your way

 

[chrisr777]

Well, our band is just getting back into the swing of things and working on new music leaning in a bit heavier direction than before. Missing a member, so we have to rework some of our older stuff. But we can't wait to get back on stage and in the studio both. Being in a band is pretty much my focus in life.

 

[Johnny Cache]

I found out in my 20s I'd had enough of that. Glad I quit and focused on a career where I can make good money. I think I'd get into another band if it was more laid back and we only did a 2-3 gigs a year. But I couldn't handle anything more than that now.

I like your attitude. I kind of felt the same way for several years had a pretty good job, still played out a little now and then, until I got married in my late 30's. Then it was over for the most part, until the late 80's and did another 10 years of it. I still like to jam for fun but nothing too serious and no major commitments.

 

[BFO]

Unfortunately, most full-time, non-famous working musicians don't have that luxury, its a constant grind which often leads to burnout.

So, pretty much like every other job in the known universe.

 

[thewhit]

I think as one gets older, perhaps a bit more successful and/ or has more opportunities outside music ( assuming you're not a full time pro) .....gigs, prep, commitment to a schedule well out into the future can lose their appeal when turning down other fun possibilities.

 

[Guitar Dave T]

Different perspective here: Oh sure, I went through the burnout phase after playing in a band of road warriors in the 70's, followed by a funk band and then a local corporate and wedding band that lasted 20 years before I got burned out again, mainly from not having enough control.

So I played in a couple more bands with increasing control, the latter my own where I had total control.

And somehow I was not happy.

So when things started opening back up here in DFW, I did a hard reboot, only this time putting myself out there as a sub and sideman rather than running my own thing, completely giving up any idea of control.

And it's been surprisingly freeing. Band leaders text a set list around 5 days in advance, no forced rehearsals, I show up on time and prepared and get to work with mostly higher-level players who are super-easy to hang with.

I play most weekends, and when something happens unplanned like the PA that failed last night, or the keyboard player that had an issue getting to the gig on time Wednesday, I no longer see these things as my problems. If I can help out, I do, but otherwise, I'm content to pour a cup of coffee, sit on the sidelines and await further instructions. And generally these things work themselves out (last night we played a few instrumentals until a loaner PA was brought out).

And the real revelation out of all this is it's now clear that where I've always gotten the most out of this gift of music, where I've gotten the most joy, has been in the live musical interaction with talented players with good ears.

And even if there is only one other person in the room to share that with, I'm content.

 

[RickV]

I hit that point about 10 years ago. I‘m about to turn 68, so I have lots of nice memories from gigging in my younger years. It stopped being fun and became more like work a couple years before I hung it up.

Other contributing factors was the onset of arthritis in my hands and hearing loss that eventually moved into the severe to profound stage. I had a cochlear implant this past January that got my hearing back to 90+%, but I still have no desire to do the band thing again.

 

[rolsen]

My little outfit started around 2006. Lots of EP releases and local shows. Been a two-piece band for the last few years. If my drummer bows out, I'll probably keep the moniker and release music myself but no shows.

There's a thousand un-fun things about being in a live, original band, both internal and external.

Dealing with thin skins requires advanced level psychological judo when you're the songwriter, arranger, producer, recordist, mixer and project manager of every last thing. I started writing examples here, but we can all close our eyes and imagine them.

The ideal venue show for me includes the following:

1. A booker/promoter who secures and schedules the band lineup, rather than the classic 'you can play that night, but you need to secure all the other bands,' which is always a nightmare. I just want to put it on my calendar, share via social media and show up that night.

2. Reasonably secure gear storage area for before and after your scheduled lineup slot.

3. Reasonable parking distance from venue, or at least loading zone in the alley. I'm shocked at the number of places I've played where multiple bands are dragging gear through the same front door the patrons use. What a giant pain!

4. Boom mic stand that works, decent vocal monitor(s).

Most local original rock/alt/indie/whatevs venues fall short on at least a couple of the above points, often all of them. If its a really bad stretch, you've kid-gloved your bandmates along to create the music, suffered the time, schedule and money inequities along the way only to have a show that falls way short on items 1-4 above. Throw in nearly intolerable bands before or after your slot to suffer through, sparse crowd, etc.. might ask yourself 'why am I doing this. Is this fun?'

I'd probably have more fun doing the writing, recording stuff by myself, satisfy my band cravings by joining an established band where I don't have to worry about anything other than contributing my guitar parts.

 

[Johnny Cache]

I hit that point about 10 years ago. I‘m about to turn 68, so I have lots of nice memories from gigging in my younger years. It stopped being fun and became more like work a couple years before I hung it up.

Other contributing factors was the onset of arthritis in my hands and hearing loss that eventually moved into the severe to profound stage. I had a cochlear implant this past January that got my hearing back to 90+%, but I still have no desire to do the band thing again.

I can relate to the arthritis. I used to be able to play some difficult jazz cords (tarantula) without a problem, and move from one to another fast enough for chord melody and improv progressions. Now it's getting difficult to play some of them and a few I can't play anymore. Well had a good 55+ years of playing and my hearing is still pretty spot on.