Is this a di*k move? Guitar loan related.... Update/Conclusion

Husky

Member
Messages
11,929
You can’t loan anything to anyone assuming you will get it back unless it’s a jacket you lent to your girlfriend because she was cold.

15 years ago? let it go unless you want your family talking **** about you. It was a gift as all
Loaners are. If you ask to borrow when he doesn’t use it fine but take it back and sell it?
let it go.

Several years ago, I dunno 15 or so, I loaned a Fender Strat to my nephew. I loaned it with the caveats that
1. he could not sell it.
2. he can keep it as long as he plays it. If it just sits around in the case, then I want it back.

Fast forward to now, I come to find out the Strat has been living at my brothers' house. My nephew keeps it there for something to strum on when he visits his mom and dad.
My nephew is in grad school, several states away and highly doubtful he'll ever move back to the area.

Is it a dick move to want the guitar back?
I have a nice collection and I'm almost positive I'll sell it to finance another Ric or amp. Lord knows my brother makes enough $$ to buy an Am. Std. Strat any time he wants, and the guitar was loaned to my nephew--NOT my brother.

Anyone ever find themselves in a similar situation?
I'd be very curious to know your thoughts.....
 

moosewayne

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
5,939
You can’t loan anything to anyone assuming you will get it back unless it’s a jacket you lent to your girlfriend because she was cold.

15 years ago? let it go unless you want your family talking **** about you.
Certainly don't blame you for not reading 13 pages of this!
I mentioned earlier that I'm considered a p*ssy and f*ggot (been called this and many other pithy things directly by my dad) in my family for being artistically inclined. My family has talked **** about me and to me my entire life. I stopped caring what they think of or say to me many years ago.

Correct me if I am wrong, but the guitar is not even at the borrower house and he is in another state? How many hours a year is this guitar being played?

Has there been any progress to the situation?
The guitar is played 1-2 hours a year.

No progression in the situation, but I am going to take it back when I have to see those people at Thanksgiving, and to be brutally honest--getting the guitar is the only reason I will see those people at Thanksgiving.

My nephew is a good kid. He know the guitar has always been a loan. I have no reason to suspect that he'll be upset with me wanting it back. He has lost interest in playing guitar. He is turning himself into quite a good writer.

Since so many people have offered their psychoanalysis of me and this situation----
I saw the exact same physical and psychological abuse I endured being inflicted on my nephew for the exact same reasons it was inflicted on me. Wonderful cycle.
He showed some interest in learning to play. At the time I had two Strats, a Les Paul and a Tele. I had recently got my first hardtail Strat, something I'd wanted ever since learning they existed. So, I loaned him the Am. Std. because the hardtail was getting all my attention (still does) and his parents (my brother and sister-in-law) would never bought him a guitar or allowed him to buy one with his own lawn mowing money.
He has always known the guitar is a loan. That has never been in question.
As his life progressed and he went through the struggle of disassociating oneself from people who view artistic expression as a threat, something to be mocked and feared he left guitar playing behind. He found his muse elsewhere and I'm beyond proud of him for it. Guitar playing isn't part of the life he is building for himself.
If he'd brought the guitar with him, I'd have no real interest in getting it back. But that isn't the case. He doesn't play anymore so I'm taking it back.
Would it have been nice if he returned it? Sure, but I'm not sweating that in the least.
 

Husky

Member
Messages
11,929
Well I'm sorry about your Dad, he needs some counseling. You asked for opinions and I'm only one old guy only responding to the first post without any of the background information and without reading 15 pages. Seems like you already know what you are going to do so the thread is moot maybe?

Certainly don't blame you for not reading 13 pages of this!
I mentioned earlier that I'm considered a p*ssy and f*ggot (been called this and many other pithy things directly by my dad) in my family for being artistically inclined. My family has talked **** about me and to me my entire life. I stopped caring what they think of or say to me many years ago.


The guitar is played 1-2 hours a year.

No progression in the situation, but I am going to take it back when I have to see those people at Thanksgiving, and to be brutally honest--getting the guitar is the only reason I will see those people at Thanksgiving.

My nephew is a good kid. He know the guitar has always been a loan. I have no reason to suspect that he'll be upset with me wanting it back. He has lost interest in playing guitar. He is turning himself into quite a good writer.

Since so many people have offered their psychoanalysis of me and this situation----
I saw the exact same physical and psychological abuse I endured being inflicted on my nephew for the exact same reasons it was inflicted on me. Wonderful cycle.
He showed some interest in learning to play. At the time I had two Strats, a Les Paul and a Tele. I had recently got my first hardtail Strat, something I'd wanted ever since learning they existed. So, I loaned him the Am. Std. because the hardtail was getting all my attention (still does) and his parents (my brother and sister-in-law) would never bought him a guitar or allowed him to buy one with his own lawn mowing money.
He has always known the guitar is a loan. That has never been in question.
As his life progressed and he went through the struggle of disassociating oneself from people who view artistic expression as a threat, something to be mocked and feared he left guitar playing behind. He found his muse elsewhere and I'm beyond proud of him for it. Guitar playing isn't part of the life he is building for himself.
If he'd brought the guitar with him, I'd have no real interest in getting it back. But that isn't the case. He doesn't play anymore so I'm taking it back.
Would it have been nice if he returned it? Sure, but I'm not sweating that in the least.
 

bluejazzoid

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
4,367
Your dad sounds like a real winner, so sorry that's how you were raised. I know I've been fortunate to have parents that have always encouraged me (and my siblings) to pursue any and all artistic endeavors.
[...] getting the guitar is the only reason I will see those people at Thanksgiving [...]
If I were you --and if possible-- I would make the trip to get your guitar before Thanksgiving. Unless you're planning on "making a scene" and giving them all a piece of your mind while there, I don't see the value in grabbing the guitar in front of the whole family.
 

GibsonGeek

Member
Messages
1,389
I left a MIM Strat at a chick’s house 3 or 4 years back. I sometimes wonder if it’s still there.
 

Mickey Shane

apolitical
Gold Supporting Member
Messages
2,420
If you have to ask "Is this a dick move?", you've already answered your own question.
 

Machew

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
1,882
Certainly don't blame you for not reading 13 pages of this!
I mentioned earlier that I'm considered a p*ssy and f*ggot (been called this and many other pithy things directly by my dad) in my family for being artistically inclined. My family has talked **** about me and to me my entire life. I stopped caring what they think of or say to me many years ago.


The guitar is played 1-2 hours a year.

No progression in the situation, but I am going to take it back when I have to see those people at Thanksgiving, and to be brutally honest--getting the guitar is the only reason I will see those people at Thanksgiving.

My nephew is a good kid. He know the guitar has always been a loan. I have no reason to suspect that he'll be upset with me wanting it back. He has lost interest in playing guitar. He is turning himself into quite a good writer.

Since so many people have offered their psychoanalysis of me and this situation----
I saw the exact same physical and psychological abuse I endured being inflicted on my nephew for the exact same reasons it was inflicted on me. Wonderful cycle.
He showed some interest in learning to play. At the time I had two Strats, a Les Paul and a Tele. I had recently got my first hardtail Strat, something I'd wanted ever since learning they existed. So, I loaned him the Am. Std. because the hardtail was getting all my attention (still does) and his parents (my brother and sister-in-law) would never bought him a guitar or allowed him to buy one with his own lawn mowing money.
He has always known the guitar is a loan. That has never been in question.
As his life progressed and he went through the struggle of disassociating oneself from people who view artistic expression as a threat, something to be mocked and feared he left guitar playing behind. He found his muse elsewhere and I'm beyond proud of him for it. Guitar playing isn't part of the life he is building for himself.
If he'd brought the guitar with him, I'd have no real interest in getting it back. But that isn't the case. He doesn't play anymore so I'm taking it back.
Would it have been nice if he returned it? Sure, but I'm not sweating that in the least.
1 to 2 hours a year... nuff z nuff said! Enjoy your new guitar, or sell it!
 

Cornholio

Member
Messages
1,187
Certainly don't blame you for not reading 13 pages of this!
I mentioned earlier that I'm considered a p*ssy and f*ggot (been called this and many other pithy things directly by my dad) in my family for being artistically inclined. My family has talked **** about me and to me my entire life. I stopped caring what they think of or say to me many years ago.


The guitar is played 1-2 hours a year.

No progression in the situation, but I am going to take it back when I have to see those people at Thanksgiving, and to be brutally honest--getting the guitar is the only reason I will see those people at Thanksgiving.

My nephew is a good kid. He know the guitar has always been a loan. I have no reason to suspect that he'll be upset with me wanting it back. He has lost interest in playing guitar. He is turning himself into quite a good writer.

Since so many people have offered their psychoanalysis of me and this situation----
I saw the exact same physical and psychological abuse I endured being inflicted on my nephew for the exact same reasons it was inflicted on me. Wonderful cycle.
He showed some interest in learning to play. At the time I had two Strats, a Les Paul and a Tele. I had recently got my first hardtail Strat, something I'd wanted ever since learning they existed. So, I loaned him the Am. Std. because the hardtail was getting all my attention (still does) and his parents (my brother and sister-in-law) would never bought him a guitar or allowed him to buy one with his own lawn mowing money.
He has always known the guitar is a loan. That has never been in question.
As his life progressed and he went through the struggle of disassociating oneself from people who view artistic expression as a threat, something to be mocked and feared he left guitar playing behind. He found his muse elsewhere and I'm beyond proud of him for it. Guitar playing isn't part of the life he is building for himself.
If he'd brought the guitar with him, I'd have no real interest in getting it back. But that isn't the case. He doesn't play anymore so I'm taking it back.
Would it have been nice if he returned it? Sure, but I'm not sweating that in the least.

No need to defend yourself. People can be judgemental jerks. Please post a NGD in the guitar forum after you get it back. :)
 

NamaEnsou

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
7,059
Yep. He was really surprised and embarrassed I didn't have it.
Turns out he asked his dad (my brother) to give the guitar back to me almost three years ago. My brother kept it. Heck of a guy, my brother.
Well that's a lot different story than the know-it-all creeps in this thread were fabricating for you. It's nice you two were able to spend some some together.
Happy ending, at least given what you already knew and have now doubly confirmed; your brother's a jerk and you're still good with your nephew.
 

daacrusher2001

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
5,985
Yep. He was really surprised and embarrassed I didn't have it.
Turns out he asked his dad (my brother) to give the guitar back to me almost three years ago. My brother kept it. Heck of a guy, my brother.
lol, that's what brothers do...aren't they annoying LOL
 

BoogieManSC

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
1,634
IMO, he's really not holding up his end of the bargain... Keeping something around in the off chance you might strum it during visits back to the childhood home is at least "a stretch"...
So perhaps a crafty fight/solve fire with fire approach is called for?

Reach out to them and tell them that you have been engaging in your new favorite hobby which is home recording. Now that a DAW installed on a computer easily allows musicians to lay down tracks It Is by no means a stretch of the imagination. Mention that the tone of a Stratocaster is called for and if you could pay to have the Strat shipped back to you, so you can lay down some tracks. (sending THEM a shipping carton would make it as hassle free as possible).

Whenever your nephew goes back home, mention for him to reach out to you and you'll just ship it back. It will never happen because if he did so he would be in just as uncomfortable of a situation as he now put you in and surely wouldn't ask. If it DOES happen... Mention it was smashed to pieces during a gig for a new The Who cover band you joined...they won't ask for proof...if they do, sever all ties and enjoy the Strat :)

EDIT: I didn't skip ahead and read the conclusion where you got it back! Nice... Disregard diabolical scheme above...
 

JosephZdyrski

Member
Messages
3,281
The words guitar and loan, really shouldn’t be used together unless it’s some sort of last resort to replace stolen gear out on the road or something like that. If you are regularly taking out loans for guitars than something is seriously wrong with your approach to life.

edit... oh he loaned out a guitar... I’ve done that once like 20 years ago. The guitar it still out on loan technically lol. FenderMexican Strat... yeah don’t loan out Guitars... that’s even stupider than taking out a loan for a guitar or responding to a thread you haven’t read yet.
 




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