I taught him in 4th and 5th grade. He was always quiet and I tried to engage him and make him laugh. He did from time to time but it was hard to make him laugh. Usually I can make anyone laugh and engage. He was a hard one to make smile. He was in college and used drugs to do the deed. I am crushed. I dont want to share with anyone I know because it feels too personal but you faceless assholes are good enough for me to vent to. Thanks for a safe place to say stuff to people I love but do not know. Gonna cry hard now.