Meeting Farts

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by Smacky the Frog, Nov 14, 2017.


  1. Smacky the Frog

    Smacky the Frog Silver Supporting Member

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    No, not going out and trying to make friends with gaseous clouds of anal dispersion.

    I was in a six hour meeting, sitting in two different places for three hours each. The stench of rotten ass was a constant throughout the meeting. There was periods where you could inhale/exhale and repeat but a majority of the time doing so involved tasting what appeared to be someone's fried egg chalupa remnants bathed in sirirachra sauce popped from above the room so it settled directly on the conference room table.

    Nary a cheek was raised and everyone in the meeting seemed to look around at various points to see if they could spot where the cloud came from. Nasal hair was falling from people's noses and at one point I could see my skin blister from the noxious odors hitting my forearm.

    Just a rant I needed to clear (like the air in the conference room needed to be cleared). Don't think I've ever been subjected to a constant stench like that in such a confined space (unless I dutch-oven'd the girlfriend in a full-sized bed.

    I wouldn't have been surprised if someone started checking the heating vents for dead animals.

    Nasty.
     
  2. Sneaky

    Sneaky Member

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    It was you wasn't it?
     
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  3. Smacky the Frog

    Smacky the Frog Silver Supporting Member

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    I would've OWNED it had it been me. Would've sent a menu around to the entire table and then explained it via a flowchart during my part of the presentation.
     
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  4. Last'sGal

    Last'sGal Member

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    I swear I thought this thread would be about you and the wife lying back to back and farting at the same time. In my defense, my brain is running more creatively than normal at the moment. ;)
     
  5. 2leod

    2leod Re-Member Gold Supporting Member

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    Funny.

    Around my place of employment the running gag (yeah, that just happened) is dropping a bomb around a blind corner when there is awareness of others following. The last one I walked into had the pungency of a dead frog.

    How long was this meeting? No one said "Enough!!", or stood up and started to vigorously fan a clipboard? Communication is key.

    Speaking of Dead Frog, I've got a couple beers from them chilling, The Obsidian Dagger and Nutty Uncle - good stuff!
     
  6. jimijimmyjeffy

    jimijimmyjeffy Member

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    Nine times out of ten my money is on lactose intolerance. Every time.

    Once someone gets their health and diet in order, I'm not sure there is any reason farts need to stink noticeably. That gets digested out, by the healthy bacteria, etc.
     
  7. In Absentia

    In Absentia Member

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    It was Phyllis, but she sent out a memo.
     
  8. Brion

    Brion Supporting Member

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    Solution = conference calls. Fart at your own discretion and unless it is ripping and you forgot to hit mute, no one will know it happened.
     
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  9. dinocicerelli

    dinocicerelli Member

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    I love iPhones for this.
     
  10. Judge Smails

    Judge Smails Member

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    Greatest most enjoyable entertaining post in a long time.
    Our bathroom at work is filled with construction workers unloading simultaneously.Our secretary stays clear of the hallway that time of the morning, Its brutal beyond belief.Ill walk to another building just to take a leak.
    Oh.
    PSA. There’s a handle on the back of the toilet for a reason.Use it frequently if needed.
     
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  11. Blue410

    Blue410 Silver Supporting Member

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    ISmellavision FTW!
     
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  12. TheDropout

    TheDropout Member

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    my dog could gag a maggot. He doesnt even have any shame about it, He just trots around crop dusting the house when people are over. I wish i had his courage.
     
  13. Last'sGal

    Last'sGal Member

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    :spit
     
  14. Timcito

    Timcito Member

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    Hey, thanks for sharing.
     
  15. Kilometers Davis

    Kilometers Davis Member

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    Is there really anything more exciting than walking into a green cloud mouth open?
     
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  16. tompetty

    tompetty Member

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    I would have walked out and said the reason why I was walking out until the air was clear whether it be by opening windows or whatever..

    On my way out the door I would suggest that the combo of lard ass, greasy, over weight, stagnating\low metabolism stale air would become much worse in combination with the smell of my puke......
     
  17. Smacky the Frog

    Smacky the Frog Silver Supporting Member

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    That's what I said!
     
  18. 2leod

    2leod Re-Member Gold Supporting Member

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    Mouth open - bold choice!
     
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  19. redragon

    redragon Silver Supporting Member

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    I met a fart once.
     
  20. Kilometers Davis

    Kilometers Davis Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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