my gf broke it off on christmas eve

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by elnino69, Jan 1, 2018.


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  1. Audioholic

    Audioholic Member

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    Love stinks. I’ve tried to get someone back who I loved after something ended and it only made things worse. Psychology is weird. You are in a good spot though. Young, so much dating life left. I’ve found people don’t really know what they want or mature enough til mid thirties anyway. I am sorry for your pain. Do what you need to do personally to speed up healing. But it will pass. This past year I have personally tried to let people who want to leave my life go easier. It’s hard. But we can’t control outcomes no matter how much we pesosnally want something. And on Christmas Eve!?!? Cold.
     
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  2. 100JH

    100JH Member

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    One door closes, another door opens...it's an opportunity. You are better off.
     
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  3. mattball826

    mattball826 Member

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    Makes millions for Taylor Swift
     
  4. Slaphappy

    Slaphappy Member

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    When they leave "THEY ALWAYS HAVE" someone else. Move on **** happens it sucks but that's life.
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2018
  5. mattball826

    mattball826 Member

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    Odds are favored that Yes there is someone else. Sometimes they go right to that new person immediately and you know, and other times they are too guilt ridden to move forward with the new dude until breaking it off with the current guy... but yes, a sudden break up usually means another person (never know these days so better to be more universal).

    Our drummer insisted his GF of 4 years did not have another dude already, or one just on stand by until the deal was done. HE went round and round. I fixed up her house, we had great sex, she was so cool!! HE did fix up her house. Totally reworked many rooms for her, new flooring, tore down walls, opened things up. He spent his own $$ doing it thinking he'd be there someday or they'd sell their individual homes and get their own (which was their plan). She broke up with him Xmas Eve as well. He was devastated. He got the "its not you it's me" thing.... which means "I'm sleeping with another dude now, it's not your fault.. and you can go"

    Soon to learn yep, she had another dude. He asked her WTF! Why did you have me rework your house and all if you were with him all along? She said "but I slept with you too"

    wimminz......
     
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  6. chillybilly

    chillybilly Member

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    Same city, different cities, etc. etc. I admire anyone who can form a relationship despite the age gap but the age gap never really goes away.

    Consider the differences in your own personality, maturity level, worldliness, etc. at age 32 vs 24. Now throw the opposite-sex factor into it and the odds are long indeed in terms of having a bond that can overcome those differences. Yes it can happen but the chance improve greatly after age 35-40 when both are well into their career years and the respective stages of life are not markedly different. Given the propensity for the younger generation to stay in school pursuing grad degrees, internships, etc. as well as their much higher incidence of moving back in with parents, it seems that functional adulthood is being pushed further back in life which only (potentially) complicates things more. Nothing wrong with having a lasting/lingering romantic/emotional bond or regretting a breakup but when you inevitably meet someone else closer to your own age, background and/or maturity level it will be like going from black & white to 1080 HD in terms of the complexity and richness of your relationship.
     
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  7. Jisatsu

    Jisatsu Member

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    Been there, done that. It sucks. It'll take awhile to get over and it will be even longer before you can trust again.

    My advice? Focus on something else for the time being. After awhile you won't even think of her and if/when you do, that feeling you have right now won't be there any more and you'll feel so much better.

    So remember, time heals all wounds, focus on something else important to you, forget.

    The trust thing you might want to see a licensed professional about, because that one I still have problems with.

    Here's to a happy new year. Cheers.
     
  8. elnino69

    elnino69 Member

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    I know it's a done deal.I can't fix this and i know i have to move on.

    I'm not even a guy that talks about his emotions let alone on the internet...but it did help.

    Thank you all for your comments and advices...it means alot.

    And happy new year
     
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  9. cob666

    cob666 Member

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    My experience is that when women leave a LTR there is usually another person in the wings...
     
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  10. DrumBob

    DrumBob Gold Supporting Member

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    Lots of good advice and here and a few typical snarky remarks.

    All I can do is extend my sympathies and wish you the best in finding the right girl. Hang in there. I know it hurts. I've been there. You'll survive and you will find someone else.
     
  11. Scrapperz

    Scrapperz Member

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    I had GF that did strange things like this once and later I found out she was bi-polar with manic tendencies. Just a thought but she might really have a medical issue.
     
  12. dead of night

    dead of night Member

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    The irony of this OP is that she told you she's breaking up because she's not getting enough love from you; when you offer more love and attention, she still wants to break up!

    Certainly, she's not giving you the real reason, girls never do.
     
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  13. RR59CMS

    RR59CMS Member

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    Keep your head down and keep on trucking
     
  14. Rick Lee

    Rick Lee Silver Supporting Member

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    OP, be happy this happened to you when and how it did. Imagine the poor schmuck she left you for. When he finds out she dumped you to be with him for Xmas, he'll feel like a chump. I know I would never be able to stay with a woman if I found out she had done such a thing, knowing she could do it to me too and really has zero heart or empathy. I'd want to find her ex and take him out for some beers.

    I've had one LTR and it didn't end well. I was not in a financial position to be paying for flights every few weeks back then. I remember almost selling my EBMM EVH to afford those flights. Thank God, I didn't do it. I don't think she was cheating on me, but there was a lot of pressure to have everything go smoothly during the short times we had together every few weeks. It really sucks when you sort of need to have a fight or "clean up session," but keep it all in because you want to knock boots one more time before heading to the airport or just don't want to feel like the weekend was wasted fighting.
     
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  15. Bozak

    Bozak Member

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    Bad timing, that really sucks, but the reality is she's 24 in college, so chances are she was having a lot of fun and did the right thing, even if the timing was terrible.
     
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  16. wrong_note_rod

    wrong_note_rod Member

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    some of these lyrics might apply - if nothing else, the guitar line is fun to play

     
  17. s2y

    s2y Member

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    She was cold as ice for the timing.

    I'll refrain from giving advice since I don't quite have my own shite together. I'm not sure if I'd be able to date someone in their 20's, especially since I'm 37. It's not so much about the age difference as it's about the different stages of life.
     
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  18. Fishyfishfish

    Fishyfishfish Member

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  19. tabb74

    tabb74 Member

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    Good god man, get some rest!
     
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  20. NHDave

    NHDave Supporting Member

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    Very sorry to hear this. That’s a whole new level of awful to break up like that. I’d say lick your wounds, roll on... you’ll find someone better.
     
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