My new boss plays and wants to “jam”.

Discussion in 'The Sound Hound Lounge' started by Colnago, Feb 3, 2019.

  1. shibby

    shibby Member

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    Colnago, don’t answer this question, it’s obvious that WordMan IS your boss!

    Worlds have unintentionally collided right here on TGP!
     
    Colnago likes this.
  2. ieso

    ieso Member

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    It's been a long time coming
     
  3. lp_bruce

    lp_bruce Member

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    This is just far too black and white. Because obviously it has worked out fine and ended well for many of us here. I am and have been friends with my boss and I people who work for me. This has been the case for my entire employment life (I'm 54). It has yet to cause a problem for me and those friendships have turned into more business/opportunities for me and I've gotten to know some great people.

    Which isn't to say you need to be friends with your boss or co-workers. But the notion that it's always bad or always ends in a mess is plainly false.
     
    sportycliff and Redrum like this.
  4. standard24

    standard24 Member

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    Our bandleader was 18 when he was drafted into the Army. He took a 55' Strat with him to Vietnam. He said he was a big shot around the officers there who played music, cause he could really play.
     
  5. The Kid

    The Kid Member

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    Tell him you want a raise.
     
  6. JPF

    JPF Member

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    You could test his character by shredding all over his vocals and solo forays.
     
  7. jpervin

    jpervin Supporting Member

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    Just A Mess
     
  8. Thumpalumpacus

    Thumpalumpacus Member

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    I've jammed with supervisors and subordinates both. So long as the different aspects of the relationship are compartmentalized, there's no issue.
     
  9. Oldschool59

    Oldschool59 Member

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    Too many people here play it defensively. The number of negative answers here can be indicative of the number of jobs with terrible bosses. That's bad. But someone said it earlier: it's not all black and white. As with all things human, it depends on the relationship we have with one another. ''Bosses'' seem to have a very bad reputation in these pages.

    As a company executive, I have responsibilities towards the shareholders, chiefly profitability and sustainability, alongside some secondary ones. In this day and age, both these responsibilities are impractical without the buy-in of the people that really make things happen: the employees. A good boss will develop meaningful relationships with the people around him, relationships that will eventually bloom into a cool workplace culture, one that is rewarding for all involved. It takes this sort of setting to be able to inspire and motivate everyone into giving their best, day in day out. A great boss will do that every time.

    Potentially, some of these relationships may develop into friendships, be it through music, or through any other shared interest. Or not. Friendship or not, however, a common base of mutual respect is a must. But being friends with the boss does not mean both sides will forego their respective responsibilities. I have had very difficult discussions with friends (also, subordinates). I usually approach it by saying something like: ''Listen, Joe, my job is going to be hard, today. I need to have a difficult discussion with a team member, and I wish I didn't.'' Then lay into it. At the end of the talk, I may still have a friend, or not. But consider the alternative: you go to work, every day, not trusting your boss, not making friends, seeing it as strictly a transaction where you exchange your life's time for cash. Rinse, repeat. I, for one, would not like that for very long.

    So, read the situation well. If your new boss looks like someone who can be entrusted with your time and your friendship (eventually), you can do no wrong. Be smart about it, every situation is unique. Good luck.
     
  10. WordMan

    WordMan Member

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    Shhh! ;)
     
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  11. DCFanatic

    DCFanatic Member

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    I would say go for it at least once and see how it works out. I've played in bands with people from work before and it can still be fun even though they have not been the best players. If you have the patience for it, then go for it. Maybe see what kind of music the guy is into playing to get a skill level assessment?

    I believe it has also been said that hanging with the boss can provide career advancement opportunities.... not great to look at it that way but it is true.
     
    sportycliff likes this.
  12. Colnago

    Colnago Member

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    I’ll be up front about it for sure.
    If he insists that it’ll be fine and not affect anything I’ll tell him that I find him attractive and that I was hoping things would develop between us.
     
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  13. Rick Towne

    Rick Towne Praise & Western Silver Supporting Member

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    It can work out. Several decades I got back into playing at a law firm where I was a partner; we were able to staff a full band compete with trumpet/sax horn section from the rest of the staff. Never had any issues.
     
    lp_bruce likes this.
  14. WordMan

    WordMan Member

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    Oh, snap.
     
  15. standard24

    standard24 Member

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    I've jammed for many years with a group of guys that include an owner of the business and several employees. No issues that I know of...
     
  16. DanPaul

    DanPaul Silver Supporting Member

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    I’m really kind of shocked reading these responses as I look at things quite differently than the majority here.

    It seems that I spend a lot of time with my coworkers while at work. 40+ hours a week, day in and day out and I’m thankful for the relationships and friendships that have been built. My coworkers and I have experienced not only a professional relationship but a personal one as well. We’ve been there for each other through births, deaths, divorces, retirements, weddings, funerals, tragedy and triumph.

    Do we hang out together a lot after hours? Not really, but I’ve played music, gone to concerts, visited sick and injured coworkers in hospitals, gone to ballgames, church services and parties and even gave one of my bosses guitar lessons. Not only did nothing bad happen but proved to bolster more meaningful relationships and led to a richer work/life experience.


    Dan
     
  17. Misterbulbous

    Misterbulbous Member

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    Keep in mind, his boss wants to "jam", not jam.
     
  18. MkIII Renegade

    MkIII Renegade Member

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    :eeks DANGER WILL ROBINSON!! :eeks
     
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  19. Rick Towne

    Rick Towne Praise & Western Silver Supporting Member

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    Good words here, especially about deferring to the musical leadership in the musical context.
     
    Oldschool59 likes this.
  20. DrJamie

    DrJamie Silver Supporting Member

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    My question is how to say no without offending the boss? Maybe damned if you do, or don't. Playing music could be a positive, but how new are you to the company?
     

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