Oh no, they're going after amps now too

Dr Bonkers

An IR Vendor who opted to go for Gold this year!
Gold Supporting Member
Messages
1,373
Being clumsy, my stuff gets that relic look in a few years of playing anyways.
 

Bucksfan70

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
634
When will the madness end? Lol Good ol' StewMac.

View attachment 319265
i ought to just open a custom relic business. everyone send me your gear that you want to be ruined and i'll f**k it up real good per what type of damage you want me to use.

advanced techniques used are:

scratched up body near bridge (screwdriver) - $20

headstock paint or wood chipped (ceiling fan or rammed through painted drywall). - $30

headstock or body burn marks (joint or cigarette burn), $40 plus however much money it costs to buy a bag of weed or a pack of cigarettes.

worn paint on body (dewalt orbital power sander), $150 for the sander and another $40 for the labor.

random brown splotches on the wood (get drunk and then spill pepsi or coke, your choice, on the wood and then pass out and let it dry instead of wiping it off). $20 dollars.

random stickers (any type) $10. scratch n sniff or sparkling prism sticker add $20.

sperm stain (my sperm from jerking off to a picture of a new ibanez pia or original gem 777 from the 1987) $1,000. in the unlikely event that you might scrape some of it off, insert it into your mangina, pop out a baby and dumb down my gene pool (people that like relic jobs must be naturally stupid), i'm charging you $1,000 f**king dollars!
 

jdr1014

Member
Messages
131
Different strokes and all that but makes about as much sense to me as relicing a brand new car to make it look like its been driven a million miles.......
 

bbtr

Member
Messages
161
Why are people going for an old look - of 50-60 years ago, - and even old sound, compressed into a brick wave, like the ones shat out by that Bonamassa guy - this doesn't bode well for the popularity of the instrument and the whole eco system around it. Why not futuristic? Judas Priest Painkiller look/sound/aesthetic - or similar. Can't think of many in that vein off the top of my head, but I'd rather take sci-fi/hi-tek than aged, torn, spilled, smoked, route 66'd look. I bet if that ever became a trend, it would bring some pristine-looking dollar bills into the pockets of the enterpreneural folk doing it.

Anyone else with me on this?
 

gulliver

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
9,806
i ought to just open a custom relic business. everyone send me your gear that you want to be ruined and i'll f**k it up real good per what type of damage you want me to use.

advanced techniques used are:

scratched up body near bridge (screwdriver) - $20

headstock paint or wood chipped (ceiling fan or rammed through painted drywall). - $30

headstock or body burn marks (joint or cigarette burn), $40 plus however much money it costs to buy a bag of weed or a pack of cigarettes.

worn paint on body (dewalt orbital power sander), $150 for the sander and another $40 for the labor.

random brown splotches on the wood (get drunk and then spill pepsi or coke, your choice, on the wood and then pass out and let it dry instead of wiping it off). $20 dollars.

random stickers (any type) $10. scratch n sniff or sparkling prism sticker add $20.

sperm stain (my sperm from jerking off to a picture of a new ibanez pia or original gem 777 from the 1987) $1,000. in the unlikely event that you might scrape some of it off, insert it into your mangina, pop out a baby and dumb down my gene pool (people that like relic jobs must be naturally stupid), i'm charging you $1,000 f**king dollars!
This post reads like a relic ... from Harmony Central.

By the way, relic'ing impressively is extremely difficult. Reading your post, I doubt that you could create a convincing one. If you don't like them, that's fine, but your references aren't complimenting your potential.
 

TonePilot

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
4,366
i ought to just open a custom relic business. everyone send me your gear that you want to be ruined and i'll f**k it up real good per what type of damage you want me to use.

advanced techniques used are:

scratched up body near bridge (screwdriver) - $20

headstock paint or wood chipped (ceiling fan or rammed through painted drywall). - $30

headstock or body burn marks (joint or cigarette burn), $40 plus however much money it costs to buy a bag of weed or a pack of cigarettes.

worn paint on body (dewalt orbital power sander), $150 for the sander and another $40 for the labor.

random brown splotches on the wood (get drunk and then spill pepsi or coke, your choice, on the wood and then pass out and let it dry instead of wiping it off). $20 dollars.

random stickers (any type) $10. scratch n sniff or sparkling prism sticker add $20.

sperm stain (my sperm from jerking off to a picture of a new ibanez pia or original gem 777 from the 1987) $1,000. in the unlikely event that you might scrape some of it off, insert it into your mangina, pop out a baby and dumb down my gene pool (people that like relic jobs must be naturally stupid), i'm charging you $1,000 f**king dollars!
You could save yourself a lot of trouble by giving it to kids for a few days.
 

Bucksfan70

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
634
This post reads like a relic ... from Harmony Central.

By the way, relic'ing impressively is extremely difficult. Reading your post, I doubt that you could create a convincing one. If you don't like them, that's fine, but your references aren't complimenting your potential.
Relic it the Traynor way !

You could save yourself a lot of trouble by giving it to kids for a few days.
haha! good idea. no work and still get paid to f**k someone elses guitar up. i will just sit back, drink beer and be like, "hey wait! stop hitting your sister with that thing, throw it up against the wall a few times at her hey! say! JUMP poster instead." LOL
 

Crowonawire

Member
Messages
529
No one has ever shown me a new piece of musical equipment that was pre-beatup as a feature. If they had I would look at that person differently. It’s like a lack of awareness of how life works in the larger sense. A curious phenomena “relicing”.
 

teemuk

Member
Messages
3,150
The whole idea of a relic is about image. Think grunge, punk, hard rock--the screw society styles.
Yes, but people who created such cultures were rebellious, innovative and - first and foremost - true to themselves. They didn't follow an image, they created it. These people had worn clothes because they couldn't afford new ones and their guitars and amps were worn because they were constantly in a hard use.

Sorry but this whole easy-to-digest image that one can simply buy from a market reeks poser-ish, unoriginal and pretentious mile away. You do know that the old blues guys who primarily had those beat-to-death vintage guitars and tweed amps didn't hesitate a heartbeat to trade them to shiny new ones.
 

rhinocaster

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
23,235
This post reads like a relic ... from Harmony Central.

By the way, relic'ing impressively is extremely difficult. Reading your post, I doubt that you could create a convincing one. If you don't like them, that's fine, but your references aren't complimenting your potential.
Go easy on him...he's triggered...
 

drbob1

Gold Supporting Member
Messages
27,581
Relic it the Traynor way !

I hadn't seen this clip. Fun times!

As to the traditional relicing of amps-you can't smoke in bars anymore, and that's where the dark color and beer rings come from, so traditional techniques are going to become increasingly inappropriate.
 
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coldinWI

Member
Messages
1,301
I don't get relicing, and then paying extra for it. To me that's aesthetic lost. Now, I have several guitars that are naturally reliced by myself and my son, and they look great to me. I will say, I've played a couple of intentional relics that were fine guitars, at least with regard to sound.
 

robins652

Member
Messages
14
The way to “relic” an amp or a guitar is to get out and involved in music in such a way your gear gets banged up from hauling up stairs, falling off stands, spilt drinks, etc. which happens when you go play places. Spending time and or money to purposefully simulate that seems like posing.
 

zenas

Member
Messages
8,695
An honest relic, a 1965 ES-330 got it from the deceased original owners son. Wish I had better pictures of because you can't see the finish is cracked on every inch of it from playing every weekend all over Minnesota's iron range. Guy said if his dad took a weekend off somebody would always borrow it for their gigs. It played constantly from 65 to sometime in the 80s when the bar band thing started to die off.
Seriously looked like something you'd find in a dumpster up close but I just loved it. Just something cool about an instrument from the golden age when players actually played in front of people and made a living doing it.
Unfortunately the last step in the natural relic process was a house fire. I'll definitely buy another ES-330 but probably never get back the magic this one had. It's last gig was my mom's funeral, two days before the fire.
But no I won't buy a new one and try to relic it to match. I'll get another real 1965 and take it the way it comes. 20200718_105533.jpg
 




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