Ok...My music. My songs, is more like it.

Discussion in 'Member Video and Sound Clips' started by Squakles McGee, Feb 2, 2008.


  1. Squakles McGee

    Squakles McGee Member

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  2. yZe

    yZe Senior Member

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    You have quite a prolific list there

    Are there any tunes which you would like us to listen to more than others?
     
  3. Squakles McGee

    Squakles McGee Member

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    Right...good point.
    Well for lyrical content and melody (neither of which I believe I'm that good at), I would suggest "Lust", "No. 27", "Slow Drive", and "A Tale of Three Lovers". For just upbeat pop(ish) tunes, "Ellie", "Karma Sutra", "Blossom", and "Celebrate Life".
    "Chicago Snowfall" is my forray into electronic/avant-garde.
    And the rest are just tunes.
    Hope this helps. Let me know what you think.
     
  4. yZe

    yZe Senior Member

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    hmmm, the lust tune into starts, and the goes silent while the tune is still playing ??

    on #27, I believe that your intro is too long

    Try cutting it short

    I would definitely try to write some more lyrics for the next section, although I am not sure of the radical jump from the first section to the more distorted section

    Seems like you need to bridge it somehow with another part


    "Slow drive" is well written, but has some production issues

    When you go to that low register chord, there is this distoted rumble

    That 3rd part with the breakdown in the middle, I would try using that as an intro and see what happens

    I am not sure if you intend on that 2nd part "echoes in my mind" as being a chorus, but it sounds more like a set up pre-chorus type part to me

    Have you thought about trying to pen a hookier chorus to that tune ?


    "A Tale of Three Lovers" would make Lour Reed proud

    "Ellie" - excellent chord progression, lyrics and melody - I think it needs a chorus, though

    "Karma Sutra" has a good hook and chorus, but it seems like it cut off in the middle and wen silent like the first tune

    "Blossom" - the solo should just be that chord solo motive - strike that single note phrase

    you might want to insert a "break" or breakdown or have an istrument drop out and then build it back up

    "Celebrate Life" the single note riff with the doubled vocal would sound cool as an intro with the bass doubling wit the drums

    "Chicago Snowfall" is a good listen, I found it to be most enjoyable. This is a cool direction for you as an artist
     
  5. Squakles McGee

    Squakles McGee Member

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    Thanks yZe!
    The silent tracks are due to bad exporting, but thanks on the heads up, now I can fix them! I appreciate the comments (although I had more of George Harrison and Bob Dylan in mind with "Tale...").
     
  6. KCWM

    KCWM Member

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    I just started listening. The only thing I'd suggest after the short intro and first verse on no. 27 is try not to capture your sniffs. Also, the mic is pretty harsh...as if you've recorded it with a computer mic that's a little too hot.
     
  7. Squakles McGee

    Squakles McGee Member

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    Yeah. Actually it was a condenser and my allergies were acting up (early June, 2007). Most of these are still what I consider demo quality. I am a bum and refuse to write anything down, hence my computer has become my pen and paper. But I am still working out some engineering bugs, such as using two mics (SM58 and condenser) to record new vocals as opposed to just a condenser. So little by little I will be replacing the demo quality versions of these songs with high quality versions, some in a band setting to flesh them out more.
    Thanks.
    Keep 'em coming!
     
  8. KCWM

    KCWM Member

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    I definitely understand the musical sketchpad idea.

    Wow. I had bits on 5 songs done and then accidentally clicked one of my links in my link bar instead of the other tab and lost it all. I'll go back and redo it soon. That's so frustrating.
     
  9. Squakles McGee

    Squakles McGee Member

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    I know. I cant tell ya how many times Ive recorded bits and pieces, then deleted them with out listening, only to realize I should've saved it!
     
  10. KCWM

    KCWM Member

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    by bits, I meant stuff about your songs. I'll be up late tonight, so I'll do it then.

    I actually just finished up a rerecording of the guitars of one of my songs on my myspace. But, the bass didn't turn out very well. Adding reverb to drums does a lot...but there's still so much more to be done. I think I had the highhats too high in the mix.
     
  11. Squakles McGee

    Squakles McGee Member

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    Funnilly enough, a lot of the bass on my songs is either my voice or my guitar running through an octave divider. I know the "amp" sounds are kinda ****. It's line6 software. I cant record live guitars in my apartment, but I'm trying to figure something out.
     
  12. KCWM

    KCWM Member

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    For clean stuff, I'd suggest checking out a Korg AX3G. They are pretty cheap, and while they are a pain to program, you can get some nice sounds out of it. I'm not sure how the gain sounds, but it's pretty tweakable. I guess I should experiment with it more, but it sounds pretty good line in.

    There's a song on my myspace called Sometime that was recorded line in using that a couple of presets on the AX3G and a japanese Fender Strat.

    I never got around to relistening to songs. My apologies. One of our turtles has a pretty bad bacterial infection, so my night was spent taking care of him and cleaning out the tank to get rid of the bacteria. I'm heading over to your soundclick right now...
     
  13. KCWM

    KCWM Member

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    This is going to get long. My title says I'm long winded. I burned my mouth on pizza while typing this. My opinions do not reflect that. I hit the first 4 you suggested. I'll get back to more later on.

    Lust - I remember this being the catchiest song, guitar wise. I wonder if chords behind the chorus would fill it out more. I like the part that's there now, but it feels a little empty. Maybe a louder bass part might work to fill that emptiness. I like the use of the bends on the solo. I think it definitely fits the song and I'd be really interested in hearing a more polished version of it. The solo at the end totally overpowers the vocals and the other guitar.

    I focused on the guitar so I didn't catch the lyrics. I'm guilty of this very thing, and the fact that you're in an apartment might be the reason why, but it seems like you're holding back on parts of the vocals. You go to push a note, but then it seems like you pull back before you reach the crest of the swell.

    Perhaps the dynamics are what seem to be sticking out to me. And, perhaps, drums will eventually help that. There is little variation in the feel and attack of the song going from verse and chorus. Even during the solo, the guitar is chugging along like it did throughout the entire song. That being said, I know it's not a finished product and so that could very well change.

    I think I like Lust the most out of the songs I listened to yesterday.

    No. 27 - I like the two guitars at the beginning. I disagree with YZE...I think the intro works well, but the guitars need to line up better to pull that off. The first half is very laid back. The vocal line reminds me of something influenced by Ben Folds.

    The distorted part felt like a totally different song altogether. I liked it, but as something else. No. 27 might work better as a short, self contained song...rather than tacking on a jam at the end.

    Slow Drive - I echo yZe's opinion on this one. Though, I do think that what you have for the chorus could work if the chorus is expanded. If you were to expanded the chorus, then moving the bridge to the more traditional placement will break up the song a bit. I think it could be cool if you did take that bridge, or part of it, and worked it as an intro to the song. That way, the bridge would harken back to the intro.

    A Tale of Three Lovers - The first through the times through the verse, you sing the same vocal line. I wonder what it'd sound like if you went down to a lower note instead of up to a higher one for one of those two lines of the verse. My old choir director (I know...funny that I was in choir considering how I sing now) used to describe what you do on those lines as tromboning a note. Since a trombone slides, you can slide up to a note rather than just hitting it. It works, but I think hearing it twice makes it a little too repetitive. Does that make sense?

    I have no experience with Lou Reed, George Harrison, or Bob Dylan...so I don't know how close you nail that. But, it does remind me of some sort of mellow Tom Petty track. Maybe that's off base too.
     
  14. Squakles McGee

    Squakles McGee Member

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    YEah that does make sense. I actually used to be in choir to, and since then I've never had any confidence in my voice (hence the "pulling back"). As for the songs, I think the end of No. 27 is influenced by "Time Was" by Wishbone Ash, but I dunno if it will work out. Slow drive I still consider to be in a form of flux. I know it needs something, but haven't really sat down to think about quite what that is. I dunno.
    Overall though I like your feelings about it. I wasn't sure if the new version of Lust would work better or worse than the old one. I think the old one was written when I was big into Dave Matthews Band, and I don't really listen to them anymore. Dunno.
    But thanks.
    -Colin

    PS - Im sorry you burned your mouth on pizza.

    PPS - Im a huge Tom Petty fan.
     
  15. KCWM

    KCWM Member

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    You're welcome. I like that what you put out there was a full song. I think that solos and wanking are cool, but sometimes, I just want to hear songs with vocals and everything.

    I'm not exactly an awesome song writer. I write what amounts to some pretty generic rock songs and I rarely get out of my comfort zone for arrangement. But, I think listening to other people's opinion, whether it be critiques or compliments is what helps one grow most as a songwriter.

    And believe me, I pull back on just about every song unless I have a full band behind me. Then I sing out to match the volume of the band.

    I like what I hear.

    And it's my fault I burned my mouth on pizza...eating a slice when it's fresh out of a 425 degree oven is not smart. But, it was delicious.
     
  16. KCWM

    KCWM Member

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    Ellie - Nice to hear drums. For some reason, it broke off in the middle of the song, but I recall this one from yesterday. It has a cool groove to it, but it feels like it wants to go somewhere else and you force it back into the verse. There's a little lick you do that would resolve nicely into a chorus. yZe pointed out that it might need a chorus and I think it definitely does.

    Also, something else I noticed about your vocals, and it refers back to that "tromboning" i mentioned before. You're not slurring the words so much as you, I dunno, eventually get to them. It might work on some songs, but others, and specifically this song, I think it would help to hit the notes with a little more crispness.

    I want to say that it almost reminds me of some kind of heavily beatles influenced but not beatles sounding modern band...kind of like Oasis.

    Karma Sutra - I'm not sure what effect you're using, but the song keeps fading in and out. It reminds me of how my dan-echo pedals been acting lately. Poor thing is on it's way out, I'm afraid.

    The "oh yeah!!!" is pretty cool. The vocal part before the solo is pretty cool...kind of like a little foo fighters. At least, it's a vocal progression over that a chord that Dave Grohl seemed to favor on the earlier records.

    The production issue on it really put me off, and it was hard to get a good feel for the song.

    Blossom - Working the same chord progression for the verse and the chorus is tricky to work, especially when there's no variation in the chord progression or vocals. I could see the progression working as either a verse or chorus, but not both. The vocal line for the chorus is almost borderline monotone. There's a little variation. "Our love is like a flower...it blossoms even though it's dead" is almost all the same note. I guess that brings up the next point of how can love blossom when it's dead? I think the image is a cool one, but doesn't make a lot of sense.

    Also, I don't know if you sang "this world of ours is ours" at the beginning, but that lyric does seem a bit redundant.
     
  17. Squakles McGee

    Squakles McGee Member

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    right but the word ours has two meanings: the first is ours as a collective, i.e. the world as a whole. the second ours means me and the person Im singing to. So depending on how you look at it, it could come off as redundant.
     
  18. KCWM

    KCWM Member

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    Ah, that makes more sense now. Having context is a good thing.

    :BEER
     
  19. Squakles McGee

    Squakles McGee Member

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    Yeah. Luckily I haven't gone off on any of my Prog leanings yet, but if a 10+ minute epic comes up and it seems vague, I'm always here for interpretations.
     
  20. Squakles McGee

    Squakles McGee Member

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    finally got a group together, 4 piece. Influences - The Band, Wilco, Little Feat, Dylan, Neil Young, etc...Should be a rockin set up.
     

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