Overheard in music store: amusing sayings or songs

[Eddie-Applegate]

So I was at the repair shop yesterday; the shop is one of the only good ones left in town and is always packed

Fella, mild-mannered accountant type of about 50, picks up and pays for the work on his Fender, takes it to the amp room to test it
— Starts playing “Dunkelheit” by Burzum (a nasty Norwegian black metal song by an infamous artist )

Two or three of us in the shop start grinning involuntarily


Later, a different bloke strides in with a brand-new very nice Telecaster and when I compliment him on it, he informs me that it “doesn’t roar like a strat”


(Note: no ridicule intended of either of these gents, and I’m not *only* saying that because they’re both probably TGP members)

 

[Riffi]

One time at music go round a kid is trying to trade in a guitar for cash and the owner tells him he can’t do it As the kid isn’t old enough. Told the kid to come back with a parent. So I’m browsing and about 5 mins later the kid comes back in with a guy probably 5 years older than the kid and says “yeh this is my uncle” so the owner tells him yeh not interested in the guitar. So the kid leaves and the owners like yeh that’s not suspect, kid legit just got a random dude and probably offered him half of whatever the guitar was worth. I mean A for effort. That’s kids going places.

 

[Jorge E]

One time I was looking at a white rickenbacker in Guitar Centar with a former band mate . I asked the price and was told ,

$ 1000 .....this was 1990 .

I asked ,

Comes with a case ?

We can talk about that ......... As I was pondering if it was too much and the added case costs before I could counter the guitar player in a band I had been in said ,


You'll never be nothing but a rhythm man . I felt weird and decided to come back but never did

 

[misterturtlehead]

I like the sound of Filosofem, the record that "Dunkelheit" is on.

 

[Eddie-Applegate]

I like the sound of Filosofem, the record that "Dunkelheit" is on.

I like it too, classic of ‘necro’ production

Damn shame the fella Vikernes turned out to be a daft r@(!st

 

[GulfportBound]

Took one of my Les Pauls to a local Sam Ash to try out a Fender Twin Reverb Tone Master. Played a few of the jazz-side blues themes I've written over the past few months for the tryout. Played quietly, I didn't need to blast it to get the sense or feel of the amp. Fell in love with the amp (it's on my list!). Bozo approaches me saying, "You're not supposed to play jazz sh@t on a Les Paul, asshole, that's not what it was made for."

I just packed up the guitar and walked out. But I was awfully tempted to reply, "Learn some history, sonny, then shoot your mouth off."

 

[Eddie-Applegate]

Took one of my Les Pauls to a local Sam Ash to try out a Fender Twin Reverb Tone Master. Played a few of the jazz-side blues themes I've written over the past few months for the tryout. Played quietly, I didn't need to blast it to get the sense or feel of the amp. Fell in love with the amp (it's on my list!). Bozo approaches me saying, "You're not supposed to play jazz sh@t on a Les Paul, asshole, that's not what it was made for."

I just packed up the guitar and walked out. But I was awfully tempted to reply, "Learn some history, sonny, then shoot your mouth off."

Brutal! “Who’s this Les Paul guy???”

 

[ross1shark]

"You're not supposed to play jazz sh@t on a Les Paul, asshole, that's not what it was made for

I've overheard something very similar in a guitar store; not the exact wording, but the exact same sentiment.

 

[* velcro-fly *]

Heard a sales guy at GC explain to a customer that F-Spaced humbuckers were for guitars with F Holes...

Same day, same store, yet another guy explained that there's lots of different picks, but they don't make any difference, just get the one that looks cool to you....

 

[Steadfastly]

One time at music go round a kid is trying to trade in a guitar for cash and the owner tells him he can’t do it As the kid isn’t old enough. Told the kid to come back with a parent. So I’m browsing and about 5 mins later the kid comes back in with a guy probably 5 years older than the kid and says “yeh this is my uncle” so the owner tells him yeh not interested in the guitar. Is the kid leaves and the owners like yeh that’s no suspect, kid legit just got a random dude and probably offered him half of whatever the guitar was worth. I mean A for effort. That’s kids going places.

Yes, likely to jail.

 

[ggwwbb]

Brutal! “Who’s this Les Paul guy???”

He was a real guy and not just a guitar?!?!?

 

[DrewJD82]

My best friend’s father owned a music store that we both worked at in high school, in a smaller city in Maine. I swear the pre/early internet days were the best for stuff like this but-

Guy walking in with his girlfriend, looking at guitars, points at 12th fret- “You see those two dots? That means it’s stereo. Man, they’ve got almost all stereo guitars here!”

We had one of those small Ampeg amps that tilts back on itself, another gentleman is walking around with his son and I hear, ”You know you’re in a sh*tty music store when they do stuff like this, this is a sure way for the voltage to leak out of an amp. NEVER do this.“ and the guy was dead serious.

I was at a GC in Hallandale, Fl trying out some Dual Recto variant playing some Metallica riffs, to which the salesman complimented, “That amp really works for your death metal style!“

The most reason eye-roller was a few months back at another GC down here, I was checking out the electrics and saw this guy following an employee around just yapping his face off, I kept hearing “Santana” over and over again. After a few minutes, I heard every aspect of Sanatan’s rigs over the years, every detail about his guitar and how this guy was going to buy this PRS SE if it had this ONE detail about it that was close to Santana’s, followed by about 15 more minutes of why this one detail was so important.

That poor salesman was doing all he could to entertain the guy, but there was no way this guy was buying anything, he just wanted to spout off all he knew about Santana, like one of those mega-fans. I had actually just found an SE that I fell in love with immediately and when I did my “Go stand outside and debate the purchase” the Santana dude left, I walked back in and the salesman kind of sunk because it was 10 minutes til closing and I’m being that guy.

He asked if I needed any help and I just told him, “Man, I heard almost all of that Santana dude, I’m going to make your night easy; I’ll take that SE right there. I already played it, I love it, just cash me out and hopefully you have a better night!”

 

[george4908]

I went into a music shop once and ran into a roadie I knew who worked with a local band. He was buying a Flying V. I asked him what drew him to the V, and he said "'Cause it's got 24 frets. I'm not that good of a guitarist and I really need those two extra frets."

 

[Dude’s black strat]

I was trading some gear in at GC a year ago and one of the sales staff guys picked up my reverb pedal and asked “what do you do with this?” I was speechless.

 

[tanee]

Yes, likely to jail.

Jail or CEO, it's 50/50.

 

[DRS]

A music store in Vancouver in 1986
I inquire about wah pedals
The sales guy behind the looks at his mate, snickers, and says, "wahs are a sound you're never going to hear in music again."

 

[Jorge E]

Once I asked a clerk if he liked working there and he replied ,

It was fun at first but it's like working in a ice cream shoppe . You get tired of ice cream

 

[John Hurtt]

Once I asked a clerk if he liked working there and he replied ,

It was fun at first but it's like working in a ice cream shoppe . You get tired of ice cream

I can get that...I've gotten to the point where my gear is nice enough...and complete enough that going to GC or Sam Ash isn't that fun or interesting.

 

[Eddie-Applegate]

My best friend’s father owned a music store that we both worked at in high school, in a smaller city in Maine. I swear the pre/early internet days were the best for stuff like this but-

Guy walking in with his girlfriend, looking at guitars, points at 12th fret- “You see those two dots? That means it’s stereo. Man, they’ve got almost all stereo guitars here!”

We had one of those small Ampeg amps that tilts back on itself, another gentleman is walking around with his son and I hear, ”You know you’re in a sh*tty music store when they do stuff like this, this is a sure way for the voltage to leak out of an amp. NEVER do this.“ and the guy was dead serious.

This wasn’t Uncle Funky’s in Orono parchance?

 

[mbargav]

Jail or CEO, it's 50/50.