Not enough cash in it, not worth my time.
Per the OP: “successful cover band that played mostly fairs and festivals for really good pay”. Sounds like (semi-)pro to me. And maybe that’s part of the problem: expecting pro level commitment and performance from “dad band” musicians.You're talking about pros in a thread about starting a dad band.
Of course we don't blame anyone - but a guy who gets 'Tired' of it - is a pretend musician - or I should say a Pretend Pro - I wasn't that - I made and make a great living in the music business - I never got tired of it - I also didn't go crazy very often with the drinking, drugging and staying up all the time - I mean I had my moments - but never got in deep - stayed fairly on track - and learned to be diverse in my income - and I'm in no way saying people weren't good - there were a couple of guys in my club days who weren't full time who could run rings around me - but they treated it casually and I didn't - it was and continues to be my livelihood.
First of all I tip my hat to anybody who’s been able to play music with friends and have fun while still enjoying themselves.
Hasn’t been my experience unfortunately.
I played in bands a little bit until my mid twenties then dropped out of the scene completely until my late thirties.
At that point my main goal was to find a few like minded players, practice once on weekends with the idea that people would show up having done their homework and ready to have a productive practice session but that was usually never the case as most of you know.
I would make cassette tapes of the tunes that we had chosen (this was over twenty years ago btw) and give them out to everybody, that took time and effort and most of the time I was buying the cassettes.
Then the drummer would show up not having learned anything through the week and blamed his tape machine, it wasn’t working. So then like a fool I would burn him a CD and give it to him but to no avail he would have yet another excuse.
Then one of our drummers started an affair with our bass player’s wife, blew everything up of course! Lol
On top of all that my job required that I would be on-call every second or third week, that was fun…..
I through in the towel at the age of forty two after trying for three years. Move ahead almost twenty years and my new job requires that I work an insane amount of overtime, especially weekends. So I have even less free time than I ever had in my entire life!
On the plus side I have a wonderful stash of guitars, pedals and amps but I hardly even have time to play them.
For those who can have the right work/life balance and find the RIGHT people that you can click with before you’re too old to gig I envy you.
The little bit that I got to play live in a band setting was definitely fun but it just didn’t work out for me in the end.
Oh well at least I still have my gear.
I can admit that I'm not anywhere near that committed to performing and I give a tip of my hat to anyone that has that kind of passion. I do have some friends that have that kind of passion and they've dedicated their lives to it even into their 70's. I realized in my mid to late 20's I didn't have the level of passion it requires to put up with all the traveling, hotel living, setting up, tearing down, hauling equipment and the good and bad venues so I pursued other interests and it worked out for me as I was able to retire at the ripe old age of 49...and now I pursue music on my own terms without regard to having to make a bunch of money from it.Over the years I've met other musicians who have said something like the following; "if I don't make it by (let's say) 35 years old, I'm hanging it up." I was always kind of put off by that statement. I mean, it's their life and they can do whatever with it, but such a thought has never even entered my mind because being a musician is what I do. I've had day jobs in and out of music, but performing, writing, recording, producing, engineering, etc...is something that I've been working on since I was 12 years old and I've never thought of the pursuit of music as having some sort of "sell by" date, where I get to discard the activities if things didn't go my way.
This includes through 30+ years of marriage, raising kids and various bouts of higher education.
The passion for music is a heck of a motivator.
I can admit that I'm not anywhere near that committed to performing and I give a tip of my hat to anyone that has that kind of passion. I do have some friends that have that kind of passion and they've dedicated their lives to it even into their 70's. I realized in my mid to late 20's I didn't have the level of passion it requires to put up with all the traveling, hotel living, setting up, tearing down, hauling equipment and the good and bad venues so I pursued other interests and it worked out for me as I was able to retire at the ripe old age of 49...and now I pursue music on my own terms without regard to having to make a bunch of money from it.
It's always been this way. I've had band members who wanted to play shows but didn't want to do the work to get there. Band members who were constantly drunk or stoned. Band members who just couldn't be relied on. Band members who took on too many different projects and didn't focus enough.Does anyone find it gets harder to get a band going?
Covid killed my successful cover band that played mostly fairs and festivals for really good pay. We were unable to gig for two years and as expected, some members decided to not rejoin. Now we are trying to get something going again and it is tough. In 6mo we are on our third drummer, 2nd singer and two keyboard players have come and gone. The biggest issue is getting people to learn material. They start out strong bc its new and exciting but after about 15-20 songs they fizzle out and start canceling. Biggest excuses are I’ve been busy and I dont like that song. Last night the frustration got to me and i stopped rehearsal and gave the “you guys need to know these songs before you get here” speech. Been 6 weeks with this lineup and we can barely make it through 10 songs.
Being 40 now Ive noticed the pool of musicians has shrank tremendously. Used to have a list of guys you could call and they would show up prepared. Now Im happy if guys just show up. Is this the life of the older musician or has it always been like this and I didnt notice?
I feel like Im whining but I guess i needed to vent. Im searching for an established group to join but its not looking like anything is available unless i want to travel over a hour. Probably need to just suck it up and keep pushing.