rough demo, feedback appreciated

Discussion in 'Member Video and Sound Clips' started by williamh, Jun 8, 2008.

  1. williamh

    williamh Supporting Member

    Messages:
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    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2006
    Location:
    Corbin, KY
    So, the bass player in the band I'm in and I got together on thursday to work on writing some new material. Rough demo posted up on a new myspace. Myspace page is minimal and mainly just designed so I had a place to put this demo. Nothing sounds that great as we didn't have much time to record and has only had very basic mixing done, but I really dig the song. figured I'd post it and see what you guys thought as I'm looking for some other opinions.

    Details about the track:

    Alright, here's the drill. Whole thing was recorded in less than two hours and has less than about 25 minutes of mixing so its still kinda rough. I did all the guitar parts and the bass player did the bass and drums. No vocals yet, and the songs not finished(needs a bridge and another chorus). Tentative plans for change are the 8 beat transition between the intro/choruses and verses to be doubled in length to 16 beats...it sounds rushed now. In the second chorus we added a guitar part which we're going to remove from the second chorus. We're probably going to base the bridge around that new melody and then have it in the last chorus(so the last chorus will sound like the second one thats currently there). I think that's everything.


    all guitar parts recorded on a telecaster into my dr. z maz 38 into a dr z 2x12 open back cab w/ greenbacks(with delay and overdrive being used on some parts). Tone isn't that great as we weren't in a place where we could turn it up very much. Bass recorded using ernie ball stringray direct into the interface. Drums were my friends houston custom drum kit.

    Anyways, leave me some thoughts, good or bad.

    http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fus....endid=387565854

    p.s. Please excuse the sloppy playing. With the exception of one part that was horribly flubbed, everything was recorded in one take because we didn't have much time. The recordings were done just to give the other guys in the band an idea of what we were workin on so they could familiarize themselves with it before the next practice.
     
  2. steve10358

    steve10358 Supporting Member

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    I dig where it's going.

    I would simplify the drum beat in the first verse dynamic part to avoid redundancy and build dynamics. I'd throw a melody in the chorus and have a more dramatic bridge to color it some more. The way it is- it doesnt pop enough coming back in to the outtro. I'd also make the outtro repeating chorus's instead going from bridge to verse to chorus (two lower dynamic parts compete too much if they are in a row (br-ver)). I'd maybe even end the last measure or 4 of the song with the verse to clean up the arrangement and round it out after riding the chorus out.

    The song does a good job of building up- but needs a climax which is easy with a nice chorus melody, some minor arrangement tweaks and of course the vox.

    All in all- really cool man. Cant wait to hear the finished.
     
  3. williamh

    williamh Supporting Member

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    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2006
    Location:
    Corbin, KY
    Thanks for the advice! this is just the kind of stuff I was hoping for. The song is still very much a work in progress, as there isn't even a bridge written yet. Also, the guy playing drums is not the actual drummer for the band, he was just recording so we could actually get a rough copy done the other day even though the drummer couldn't make it. I'm excited to see what the other guy can do....he's a killer player.
     
  4. Guitar Slinger6

    Guitar Slinger6 Member

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    Jan 10, 2008
    Location:
    N KY/Cincinnati
    Nice to see someone here from my neck of the woods. From Somerset and played with a drummer from Corbin. Hey the track has some nice things going for it, I wouldn't over polish your playing, just clean it up a bit. The sound has a nice vibe going and I would agree with the first comments on the song. After you get it where you want it repost it, would like to hear it in its completion.
     

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