Some guy told me he'll "break my nuts" yesterday..

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by Turi, May 3, 2016.

  1. Turi

    Turi Member

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    ..I live in a little cul de sac sorta thing.. bunch of units.. one way in/out sorta thing.

    The old bat across a couple units down from me has moved out, something happened she went to hospital yada yada IDC all I know is I can't wait to kill her old flower garden - anyway, she had her son or something packing all her **** into a trailer hooked to a Pajero.

    The Pajero was hogging up basically the whole drive, but I could see I might be able to squeeze my Magna through.. anyway, I thought, not gonna risk it, and went over to the fat bastard and told him "mate you gotta move your Pajero, I gotta get out to get to work".

    He goes "if you can't get your car through there you shouldn't have your ****ing licence, I back roadtrains through spaces smaller than that all day" - immediately, I thought he was a TGP'er, but anyway, I said "yeah, right, I'll give it a go but no promises haha" and he just stares at me like he's an axe murderer.

    So I'm reversing and doing okay, extremely tight fit, and I hear the guy say "if you touch my Pajero, I'll crush your ****ing head".. he said it basically to himself.

    I stopped the car and said "what was that, mate?" (even though I clearly heard him) and he goes "if you touch my ****ing Pajero, I'll break your nuts"..

    I said "mate, you put the car right there in driveway so nobody can get through, and then you tell me you'll break my nuts if I hit the piece of ****?" and he just continues packing **** in the trailer pretty much leaving me hangin' and staring at him.

    I get back in the car and reverse all the way past and he goes "there we go bet you were shittin' straight, weren't ya?"
    To which I reply "yeah whatever dickhead, laters" and off I went.

    Who says this **** to people?
    I thought the days of trying to threaten and intimidate people ended in the '90s man..
    Why can't we just live our life without ****wits like that around?

    Man. It full pisses me off, I'm sure the idiot won't come back and start anything, if he does I'd just immediately baseball bat him down because he's way bigger than me so F trying to talk my way out of it.. but man, the piece of **** knows where I live.. just not cool, yeah?

    Eh. Just wanted to rant a little.
    I don't take anyones **** and sometimes say things that make matters worse, I also have a smug looking head and tend to laugh at people and things I shouldn't.. but I've really reigned it in since having a family (well not the laughing or the smug head) and things like this just fill me with a white rage.

    I mean I'll full have to crack a skull if he comes back.
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2016
  2. Lef T

    Lef T Member

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    He was being nice to you.
    He's going to show up at your house for Christmas to break Christmas nuts for you.
     
  3. ripple

    ripple To keep fresh, keep capped & cold. Silver Supporting Member

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    LOL.

    Great story Turi. I know it wasn't meant to be funny, but brother you tell it so well. The angry Aussie vernacular cracks me up. Especially the violent bits...

    I love the way you handled it - important to keep a sense of humor about it!

    Stay safe and introduce him to the ol' Hillerich & Bradsby if he comes back looking for trouble.
     
  4. Turi

    Turi Member

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    Yeah as the man who ate Santa.
     
  5. smolder

    smolder Gold Supporting Member

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    I don't know what a Magna or a Pajero are, but telling him he had to move his vs asking him if he wouldn't mind wasn't exactly friendly.
     
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  6. Noise Under The Floor

    Noise Under The Floor Supporting Member

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    You haven't seen the world news in the past decade and half or so have you?
     
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  7. pjs ire

    pjs ire Member

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    Hmmmmm........break your nuts? Not sure if possible- squish them, squeeze them, or put them in a vice. Break implies a bone. Last time I checked, there was no cartilage involved.
     
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  8. Turi

    Turi Member

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    Yeah that's right.. gotta keep a sense of humour.
    I don't know what kinda bat I got. Whatever was written on it has long faded away or been taken off.
    My old stepdad brought it over from Texas. It's legit.
    I'll mess this guy up if I see him 'round these parts again.
     
  9. MCSS1970

    MCSS1970 Silver Supporting Member

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    Hope he follows through. We could use the break. ;)
     
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  10. iamdavea

    iamdavea Silver Supporting Member

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    I got no respect for someone who has to use a baseball bat to take care of his business.
     
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  11. sixstringfuel

    sixstringfuel Hotdogs kill Silver Supporting Member

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    Funny good luck with that douche.
    Didn't know you had baseball bats down under.
     
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  12. Turi

    Turi Member

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    They're cars. Pajero is a 4wd. Magnas are normal family cars.. a sedan.

    Mate I don't ask ****.

    Yeah I have but I mean these dickheads should just euthanise themselves or something.
    It's messed up, that there are people out there who say this crap and try intimidate people etc etc.
    Why we can't just live our lives free of ****heads I don't understand.
    I mean when you're raising a kid - do you know they're dud? I want to understand how these idiots happen. How they're a thing.
    Perhaps the parents were duds in the first place.. so it's like a family thing.. I don't know.
    I really wish things like this - as timid as it was - didn't occur, ever.
    Nobody should ever have to feel like they're in that position. Nobody, imo, has the right to put them in that position.
    I shouldn't have to feel like I need to make it rain from his head. He shouldn't be a thing.

    Mate, the only thing following through will be a number 2 straight in his panties if he ever comes around these parts again.
     
  13. QRSS

    QRSS brutalist

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    go to your pub and sweep the peanut shells off the floor then dump them on his front step
     
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  14. Rimbaud

    Rimbaud Tarnished Silver Gold Supporting Member

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    was going to post exactly the same thing but ripple said it for me...love the Ozzie humor and patois...you tell a great story Turi...still pissing my pantalones here.:aok
     
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  15. Lef T

    Lef T Member

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    It's probably a Louisville Slugger like that country chick singer used in the song to beat up on her cheating lover's car
     
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  16. Turi

    Turi Member

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    Mate he's like 3x my size. What you want me to do? Go all fisticuffs?
    I got a family here to protect. I will do anything it takes to drop the guy, if needs be.
    Absolutely anything. I will bite his face clean off, if that's what it takes.

    I honestly can't see him coming back. All her **** is packed.. no reason for him to come back.
    I'm just saying, some guy said he'll break my nuts.
    Why is this a thing?

    I don't believe you can buy ones like I've got here.
    I've got a real "made in USA" one made of metal or aluminium or whatever it is they're made of.
    I didn't buy it. My step dad brought it over from Texas in a big shipping crate full of American things.
     
  17. Jason_77

    Jason_77 Member

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    Have you googled him yet?
     
  18. Turi

    Turi Member

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    I think it's awesome that the baseball bat has a name.
    The Louisville Slugger.
    I like that. I like that a lot.
     
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  19. SPROING!

    SPROING! Member

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    You wrote "Pajero" and I thought "Who drives a stupid?"

    Pendejo=stupid
    I've never run across pajero before and my brain grabbed the closest reference it could find, I guess. Lol
     
    Roark likes this.
  20. Wrmbrnr

    Wrmbrnr Member

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    Who manufactures the Pajero and Magna? Or are these colloquial terms? And if so why are they Latin based? I find this much more interesting than the story of the douche bag neighbor's kid.

    Although I do hope he's outta your life now.
     

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