Soundguy Jokes

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by Wagster, May 18, 2015.

  1. Wagster

    Wagster Member

    May 14, 2008
    Westminster, MD
    Nothing against my FOH brothers but I found these two jokes hilarious.

    Q: what does a soundman use for birth control?
    A: His personality

    Q: What does a soundman smell like after sex?
    A: Pepper spray
  2. ChazMania

    ChazMania Silver Supporting Member

    Aug 19, 2005
    Oceanside, CA
    bender and Blix like this.
  3. loudboy

    loudboy Member

    Nov 3, 2003
    Sedona, AZ
    Slightly OT...

    Q: What did the engineer who just got ProTools say to the band, after they did a take?

    A: That sucked, come on in!
  4. mcp

    mcp Member

    May 2, 2003
    Two riggers were up in the high steel of a stadium setting up the rigging points for the motors. They looked down and saw one of the lighting guys focusing lights. One rigger said to the other, I bet you could do that job with half a brain. The other said, "Let's see" and through a shackle and took off one side of the guys head and half of his brain goes flying out. The guy fell down and shook it off. he got back up in a minute and went back to focusing lights. The riggers were impressed. One said to the other, I wonder if he could do that job without any brain. The other said "Let's see", and picked up a shackle and threw it and took of the other side of the guys head and his brains go flying everywhere. He falls down for a minute and shakes it off. He gets up and walks over to a microphone and says "Check, 1,2,3"
  5. S. F. Sorrow

    S. F. Sorrow Member

    Nov 6, 2012
    South of Mars
    Laugh all you want now.... the 'soundman' that you laugh about controls those low watt amps. :D
  6. Jiffy_Jeff

    Jiffy_Jeff Playin Tunes and Having Fun! Silver Supporting Member

    Oct 4, 2005
    I hired a sound company for a medium size county fair gig. First two bands did a 45 minute set. I told the FOH engineer that the subs were not working and something was wrong He said, he knows how to do his job and I just don't hear them.

    I said yeah, I don't hear it, that's the problem, get it fixed.

    He got pissy with me again so I told him, either fix your gear, mix the show right or move over and I will show him how its done. He said fine and walked off to get a beer.

    I walked away from the soundboard. He said, you don't know what the hell you are doing. I said I will be right back... I went to the stage to trouble shoot why they weren't working.. Damn things weren't even plugged in and the amps were off. So I fixed it and went out front and pulled out a great mix.

    I said, why don't you figure out why your **** don't work before you talk down to a guy that has toured doing this job. I will be talking with your boss about you not coming back next year.

    The next day he apologized and said he didn't wire the subs. But he was the head FOH. I told him his stuff should have been checked before the first band even loaded gear onto the stage. He agreed and his attitude got a lot better the rest of the week.

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