Things your wife says

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by FlackBase, Mar 24, 2015.

  1. FlackBase

    FlackBase Felonious Monkey Gold Supporting Member

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    Still, after all these years...

    Me: I'll go grab us some burgers. You want fries?

    She: No, I'll just eat some of yours.
     
  2. luv

    luv Member

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    Me: something something something.....

    Her: you're not going to have sex for a long time.
     
  3. roundaboutmusic

    roundaboutmusic Member

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    Location:
    Melbourne, AUS
    Me: "What do you want for dinner?"

    She: "You choose"

    disclaimer - she's vegan, there is not much choice...
     
  4. Rimbaud

    Rimbaud Tarnished Silver Gold Supporting Member

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    Turning Point of the American Revolution
    Me: I think I'm going to go out tonight, shoot some smack, rob a bank, get a manicure, steal a car, buy a puppy, eat sushi, then get a Hooker and some blow.
    Yup, that's the plan...yessiree.'

    Wife: 'That sounds nice Hon..., could you pick me up a gelato on the way home?'
     
  5. Bunky

    Bunky Supporting Member

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    Great White North
    Wife: blah blah blah

    Me: *sex sex sex sex*
     
  6. BK Verbs

    BK Verbs Gold Supporting Member

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    Location:
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    Fiancé- It's your turn to ........
    Do the dishes
    Walk the dog
    Mop
    Clean the bathroom
    Pay for everything
    Etc. Etc. Etc.

    Me - Ugh.
     
  7. MustardCap

    MustardCap Member

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    Her: Are you going to do ANYTHING today?
    Me: Ya, Eric and me are gonna eat some Nachos, drink some beer and watch the game-- You and Bethany can join us as long as you guys don't talk.
     
  8. Roark

    Roark Member

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    Her: yadda yadda, Common sense would tell you that.

    Me: *incredulous* I have common sense. :dunno
     
  9. derekd

    derekd Supporting Member

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    In a van down by the river
    Me: I have the greatest wife ever!

    Her: You are a very smart man.
     
  10. DYNA BILL

    DYNA BILL Member

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    Not tonight. It's always not tonight......
     
  11. aynirar27

    aynirar27 All You Need Is Rock and Roll Gold Supporting Member

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    don't worry, it's not the size that counts
     
  12. kidmo

    kidmo Member

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    her: Hon, did you fix the xxxxxx yet?
    me: I told you I would, you don't have to remind me every 6 months......
     
  13. MustardCap

    MustardCap Member

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    LOL:rotflmao
     
  14. Rick Lee

    Rick Lee Member

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    The Desert
    Mrs. Lee regularly says:

    You stinks!

    How dare you are!
     
  15. THebert

    THebert Member

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    Location:
    New Orleans, LA
    My wife sometimes speaks in 3s. If she is really warm it's 'hot, hot, hot' and after a big dinner she is 'full, full, full.' And when she thinks she is right she says 'book it.'
     
  16. Zeegler

    Zeegler Member

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    Her: Hey, you remember that guy in that movie?

    Me: :facepalm
     
  17. Whiskeyrebel

    Whiskeyrebel Member

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    Center Line MI
    Could you be more pacific?

    I was just talking out loud.

    This is getting me flusterated.

    Also, she sings "Zip-a-dee-doo-da" and gets the lyrics wrong in the same spot EVERY SINGLE TIME.
     
  18. KarlH

    KarlH Supporting Member

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    Location:
    Orange Co,CA
    Her: hey could you go get me that thing over there, you know, that one thing we were talking about last month
     
  19. TNJ

    TNJ Gold Supporting Member

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    Her: Oh, I forgot to open the flue when I lit the fireplace.

    Me: Get the dogs, we're going outside for awhile.


    S.
    j
     
  20. fjblair

    fjblair Silver Supporting Member

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    NC High Country
    Me: Gee okay
     

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