UPDATED: Auditioning a new band member.....I guess we're going to?!?

Discussion in 'The Sound Hound Lounge' started by 2HBStrat, Apr 14, 2015.

  1. 2HBStrat

    2HBStrat Member

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    So I just got a text from a member of the band saying "Hey dude. ***** ***** is going to come out to practice tomorrow, bring his gear. Going to play w us; see if we play well together. Just to see how it goes."

    He had texted us a couple of weeks ago about this guy "maybe" (my words) being interested in playing with us, but we discussed it (very briefly) at practice and dropped it. We didn't make a decision. We didn’t decide AS A BAND to audition anyone. I had my concerns, echoed by others in the band, about adding a member to the band to begin with, as discussed in this thread:

    http://www.thegearpage.net/board/showthread.php?t=1557085&highlight=new+band+member


    .....but, that aside, I’m a bit miffed that I wasn’t in the decision making process about bringing someone in to practice with us "just to see how it goes." Should I be miffed? Am I being too sensitive? I’m not good at hiding my feelings, and I think it will be apparant at practice that I’m not liking it, or at least the way it happened.

    I don’t even know how to respond to his text. My first thought is to text back "I wish we had discussed this as a band"......does that seem rude?

    Thoughts?
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2015
  2. TDJMB

    TDJMB Gold Supporting Member

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    I'd tell him to hold off until you'd had a discussion with the full band.
     
  3. rsm

    rsm Member

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    Does the band have a "leader" or is it a democracy? If democracy, then I don't think mentioning that "it should have been agreed upon as a band" is rude at all...after all the other member did "mention" it which could mean or equate to "discussing" it in his/her mind?
     
  4. aiq

    aiq Supporting Member

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    Happened to me once years ago, except I showed up to rehearsal to be told "_____ in the band".

    Beginning of the end of a band that had been together for several years.
     
  5. anuj

    anuj Member

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    Ehh, not worth taking quite that seriously; keep the band strictly about the music, and trust each other - if you don't have those things, it's not worth doing.

    Thus, if person you're in a band with wants to do this thing, let him bring 'em in - if it makes the music better, it's a win all 'round. Otherwise you're just playing control and politics. And if it's about control and politics, it's not worth doing.
     
  6. sanrico

    sanrico Member

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    I think the "just to see how it goes" part is the disclaimer. He hasn't been invited into the band yet. He's just there to...well...see how it goes. It may sound great.

    If it doesn't sound great, then ask for a private band meeting and voice your opinion.

    Now if someone says to the guy, "Sounds great! You're in!" right there on the spot, that puts you in the uncomfortable position to ask, "Shouldn't we discuss this as a band?"
     
  7. Frank Prince

    Frank Prince Member

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    If it's a bandleader who books all the shows, organizes everything, takes all the risks, and pays each player what THEY think they deserve, then sure.

    If it's a band where each member contributes, and expenses and profit are shared, then no way.
     
  8. TheClev

    TheClev As seen on TV

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    That happened to me a while ago. Turns out the guy was a killer player and brought some much needed experience to the band. We're still friends and jam together from time to time. Anyway, I'd make it clear that you want to make the decision together about whether or not he stays. But just coming to a practice to see if there's chemistry is okay.
     
  9. BigSB

    BigSB Member

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    I have to disagree... "see how it goes" means this person already thinks there's a lack or a need. Established/stable bands don't just start bringing in other players "to see".

    The decision to add a player at a position needs to be discussed with any players already IN that position, whether it's a "democracy" or not. Band-leader is one thing, totalitarian arse is another.
     
  10. Gas-man

    Gas-man Unrepentant Massaganist

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    Agree with this.

    "Just to see how it goes" is not far from "We're going in a different direction" meaning they will can your azz and take up with new dude.

    Yes, I'm paranoid in these situations--from experience.
     
  11. svl

    svl Supporting Member

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    If all decisions made about the band have been band decisions up to this point, I'd text him back and tell him to hold his pal off until the band discusses it again and decides it's the thing to do.

    Oh, and start looking for another band. When this kind of shite starts happening it's only a matter of time...
     
  12. jonnytexas

    jonnytexas Supporting Member

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    What instrument does new dude play, and what is the instrumentation of the current line-up?
     
  13. hobbes1

    hobbes1 Member

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    As noted by others, what instrument does this new person play? Same as you? If so, you might consider that the rest of the band has already discussed it behind your back and you might be on the way out. Just saying, that this is a possibility.

    Otherwise, if I were you, I'd mention at the next band meeting and see if everyone else agrees, that any further "just to see" players should be fully discussed with everyone before they are invited out.

    Could also be a misunderstanding with the guy who is doing the inviting, thinking that the band had already discussed it and no one objected, therefore it's ok to "just see".

    good luck!
     
  14. 2HBStrat

    2HBStrat Member

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    That's what I'm thinking, too...

    It's technically a democracy but their is one Alpha who more or less calls the shots, but it's not him who brought this up.

    Yeah, I'm the same way.

    I agree.....I've already mentally taken a step away from the band, if that makes sense.

    The instrumentation of the band now is bass, drums, singer and guitar (me).....the "new guy" plays guitar and keys, and sings.

    Yeah, could be, I guess.

    That's a great idea, except rehearsal with the new guy is tomorrow night, so there is no time to discuss it beforehand, and the way things feel to me right now it wouldn't surprise me for them to offer them the gig tomorrow night without the rest of us discussing it first.

    I'm kinda pissed and not sure how to handle rehearsal tomorrow night. Like I said, I don't hide my feelings well, so do I show up and everyone knows I'm miffed, or try to get it changes so that the new guy doesn't come tomorrow night, which would give us time to discuss it, but when I guess he already thinks he's coming, and then I'm an a'hole?.....or pull some lame excuse and not show up at practice "I had to work late." I think when the discussion went nowhere two weeks ago it was over with.
     
  15. jonnytexas

    jonnytexas Supporting Member

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    Could be a good addition. I would try to have an open mind.
     
  16. Fishyfishfish

    Fishyfishfish Member

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    I would wait and see. I have been in the same spot a couple of times and either the person was super good but couldn't commit or was meh, and didn't fit the bill.
    When you get a chance sit down with "inviter guy" and see where his thoughts are as far as you having input. He might have no idea or was thinking it was helping out the group.
     
  17. Tom CT

    Tom CT Old Supporting Member Gold Supporting Member

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    You appear to have a lot of drama associated with your music. I must be lucky in that regard.
     
  18. Jon Silberman

    Jon Silberman 10Q Jerry & Dickey Gold Supporting Member

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  19. 2HBStrat

    2HBStrat Member

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    Yeah, I would almost rather meet the guy, with the rest of the band, for a beer and meet and greet rather than being blindsided with the stress of "he's coming tomorrow night."

    I know it might seem that way from an outside observer, but it's not that way, and in reality this is the place where I feel most comfortable discussing those kinds of band issues that others may have dealt with that my GF or other friends wouldn't know anything about, and wouldn't have any constructive input about.
     
  20. Flyin' Brian

    Flyin' Brian Member

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    Fixed
     

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