what do you do - bandmate & late gigs

mannish

Member
Messages
9,498
running into a problem bandmate does not want to play club gigs cause they start at 10pm - He only wants to play the restaurant type early gigs. We have two next weekend a late night friday and afternoon pre super bowl sunday. He will only play sunday - This does not sit well with me

He says his problem with getting up frequently to whizz will not enable him to sleep after the late gig

I say you don't play the club gigs then I don't think I can just let you play the early gigs

He is only a a harp player and sings a few we can do it without him but I can't let him pick and chose when he is going to play.

AM I BEING A JERK....?
 

tiktok

Supporting Member
Messages
22,388
I don't play with people who can't meet the band participation requirements--rehearsals, gigs, accepted standards of punctuality.

Or harpists, under any circumstances.

Live with it, or replace the guy.
 

Nurk2

"Ignore Everybody" ~Hugh MacLeod
Messages
8,081
Dear Boss,

I like this job, but find it inconvenient to come to work at the times you have requested.

In the future, please understand that I will only be at work when it fits with my personal schedule.

Sincerely,
Your Devoted Employee
 

Thinline_slim

Supporting Member
Messages
3,249
I agree on going separate ways OR let him know he's going to be considered a sub and throw him gigs as you need filled. But let him know that if you find a full time replacement who wants to make the commitment to all of the gigs that he won't be working much with you. Either way it sounds like you have a core of players and this person is kind of "extra".
 

Telebluze

Gold Supporting Member
Messages
1,734
If I were in this situation, I'd have to tell him "it's just not working out"

I would also tell him he was welcome to come "sit it" on a few tunes whenever he wanted.
 

Motterpaul

Tone is in the Ears
Messages
12,458
Fortunately, the guy is not essential.

I think it is too bad some bands think they have to have the 5 Musketeers attitude where everything has to be all for one. We had a ban member who decided we need to make a certain amount on every gig - so I said "Hey, I don't care how much I make, as much as I want to play, so I will gladly give youof my share."

He took that as a huge personal insult, saying I implied he was a "money grubber." No, I was just trying to make him feel good about doing a gig I wanted to do and he didn't realize that while he wanted to gig more than anyone, he was actually the person standing in the way of us moving forward by getting our name out there.

I think at some band members have to agree gigging is something you are in the band to do - and you have to be able to resolve differences in order to do the gigs. So, no you are not being anything.

I think our bass player (who is older) is going to have hard time making it through three sets. He is always to first to want to go home after rehearsal, and the gigs we have done that are three sets he doesn't get excited about repeating.

It is hard, because a lot of bands have band "atmospheres" where there is a lot of joking around, calling guys names, double entendres, etc. Thing can get personal really fast. I try to stay away from that stuff - and keep things on a repectable/professional level within the band.

It always help to think positive and give a lot of kudos and positive reinforcement so the bad stuff doesn't hit so hard.
 

Marc Roy

Member
Messages
12,569
running into a problem bandmate does not want to play club gigs cause they start at 10pm - He only wants to play the restaurant type early gigs. We have two next weekend a late night friday and afternoon pre super bowl sunday. He will only play sunday - This does not sit well with me

He says his problem with getting up frequently to whizz will not enable him to sleep after the late gig
You're kidding, right?
 

mannish

Member
Messages
9,498
Sunday is my 19th wedding anni, so I'll get up Sat (afternoon) go to fancy dinner that night and then play again Sunday on my actual anniversary & miss at least half of the super bowl and He is complaining about having to get up to pee

It's a pisser cause we are friends

FYI: Myself, the drummer and bass player have been doing this a long time we understand- we have all played gigs starting later than 10
 

Marc Roy

Member
Messages
12,569
Sunday is my 19th wedding anni, so I'll get up Sat (afternoon) go to fancy dinner that night and then play again Sunday on my actual anniversary & miss at least half of the super bowl and He is complaining about having to get up to pee

It's a pisser cause we are friends
I say ditch him. What's the use of playing bar gigs if someone doesn't want to stay up past his bedtime.

Personally, when playing bars, I play my best late at night. But that's just me.
 

rspencer

Member
Messages
2,375
Sunday is my 19th wedding anni, so I'll get up Sat (afternoon) go to fancy dinner that night and then play again Sunday on my actual anniversary & miss at least half of the super bowl and He is complaining about having to get up to pee

It's a pisser cause we are friends

FYI: Myself, the drummer and bass player have been doing this a long time we understand- we have all played gigs starting later than 10
:rimshot
 

TNJ

Gold Supporting Member
Messages
28,703
Pretty much everybody in our band is needed, so we have a contingency plan in place for these types of situations. Most of the guys have a replacement or backup (usually someone who has been in the band before). If someone cant make a gig, the 2nd shows up. Happened to us this past Friday night (a 10p-2a gig, coincidentally). Our trumpet player couldnt make it due to the lateness as he had an early saturday am job. He called his backup, who showed up and we didnt miss a beat. Maybe you can find a backup harp player?

S.j
 

Bluzeboy

Gold Supporting Member
Messages
7,856
Go your own way.. I see nothing but issues ahead.

on another note:
I think our bass player (who is older) is going to have hard time making it through three sets. He is always to first to want to go home after rehearsal,
I'm always the first to leave either Rehearsal or Gig's or load in's. I make it though fine but I'am to the point I just don't want to "hang out" when we're finished. Maybe he's the same way.
 

mjm59

Member
Messages
1,830
He says his problem with getting up frequently to whizz will not enable him to sleep after the late gig.
Hey, until this happens to you, you'll never understand what a drag it is getting up every hour or two and never getting a full night's sleep. Fortunately, I was recently turned on to Pumkin Seed Oil (a few handfulls of raw pumpkin seeds work, too) to help with an overactive bladder. I started out taking 2 gel caps twice a day, but now I just take them in the morning and it seems to be working nicely. Try passing this along to your friend and see if it helps.


Mike
 

mannish

Member
Messages
9,498
He has been to the doctor and usually knows about natural treatments FIRST but I'll mention it. I said heck since you are gonna be awake peeing anyway you might as well have fun

Hey, until this happens to you, you'll never understand what a drag it is getting up every hour or two and never getting a full night's sleep. Fortunately, I was recently turned on to Pumkin Seed Oil (a few handfulls of raw pumpkin seeds work, too) to help with an overactive bladder. I started out taking 2 gel caps twice a day, but now I just take them in the morning and it seems to be working nicely. Try passing this along to your friend and see if it helps.


Mike
 

mannish

Member
Messages
9,498
never an issue we ride together - bass player, myself, harp ride together for rehearse. We hang out together aside from music on occasion.


on another note:
I'm always the first to leave either Rehearsal or Gig's or load in's. I make it though fine but I'am to the point I just don't want to "hang out" when we're finished. Maybe he's the same way.
 

spamsponge

Member
Messages
868
Hey, until this happens to you, you'll never understand what a drag it is getting up every hour or two and never getting a full night's sleep.
Mike
I've had to give up playing out for a while over a similar problem.
I take a strong diuretic because of a heart issue and it truly does suck. It is very close to torture having to get up to piss every 90 minutes and then dealing with not being able to get back to sleep.

That said, I've done a late night thing a few times without it killing me. Though I could not do it if the day job was intense the next day.
 

buddaman71

Student of Life
Silver Supporting Member
Messages
12,766
simple: every job has requirements and not all people meet the requirements
 




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