What to make of this opportunity?

Discussion in 'The Sound Hound Lounge' started by Profusion, Apr 17, 2016.

  1. Profusion

    Profusion Member

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    Today I saw an unusual posting on CL looking for bands. It seems over the top to me in terms of working requirements and obligations. Maybe I'm ill informed? Maybe there's a big pay day in this type of venue (for musicians)? Does this sound like a real opportunity or something else?

    remarkable opportunity for a new bands! New upstart Gentlemens club in Old Bridge New Jersey seeks live bands. we would prefer pop or rock bands to play mostly top 40 in between our dancers sets. must be able to handle virtually any request. you'll be paid a flat fee of $75 plus any tips the patrons give you. you will be encouraged to tip the Soundman generously. we have just installed a like new Pyle audio sound system with a 10 channel Yamaha board with onboard effects. must be able to work Sundays through Wednesdays and bring a crowd between the hours of 8 PM and 3:30 AM. absolutely no one in the band should be under 21. anyone in the band caught consuming alcohol or smoking on the premises will be terminated immediately. there is to be absolutely no fraternizing with the female dancers, failure to comply will result in prosecution to the fullest extent of the law. ideally I would like a 4 to 6 piece band, we have a generous 11 feet wide by 6 foot deep stage fully capable of fitting all of your equipment. bands may be required to sell tickets on certain nights of the week to bring in more of a crowd. our parking lot is small and therefore our employees are not permitted to park on the property. A shuttle bus will pick you up from an off-site parking facility and drop you and your equipment off in front of the building. you are responsible for paying your own way at our offsite parking facility tickets will not be validated. ideal candidates will work with our legal team to sign a mutually acceptable contract guaranteeing what you can bring to the table. this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to build a strong following and get massive exposure by some real power players that will be coming to this club Sunday through Wednesday nights. I am also throwing around the idea of having only male dancers Sundays through Wednesdays, so you would have to be OK with this. bands may be required to agree to random drug screening on nights they are working. 20% of your tips go back to the house, no questions asked. please send me YouTube videos of your band with head shots and resumes of each band member including a letter of intent. top 20 applicants lucky enough to be chosen will have to agree to a battle of the bands contest in which bands will sell tickets to bring the biggest crowd possible. The top five bands to sell the most tickets combined with a large sum of money spent at the bar will win a spot in the rotation at our club. must be willing to wear a suit paid for by you. any tip total in excess of $200 Will go back to the house for each dollar over 200. do not pass up this fantastic opportunity as they do not come around very often just take a look at the other craigslist ads.
     
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  2. aiq

    aiq Supporting Member

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    Not in a million years.
     
  3. Lephty

    Lephty Member

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    Wouldn't touch it with a 10-foot stripper pole.
     
  4. Blix

    Blix Supporting Member

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    Good grief, no way I'd ever do that. Terrible.
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2016
  5. Jason_77

    Jason_77 Member

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    Wait... You're saying I get to play on an 11' x 6' stage for $75 AND I get to give them my tips?? :love:
     
  6. McShred

    McShred Supporting Member

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    this is a clever troll, no way in hell is it real.

    5 piece band. $75/5 = $15 each
    If you get tipped, you can keep the first $200, the rest goes to the house = $200/5 = $40 each

    You play all night, in a suit you need to buy, you have to sell tickets and watch dudes strip and the best case scenario is.... wait for it..... $55 a man
     
    ianrodia likes this.
  7. dez

    dez Member

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  8. Rick Lee

    Rick Lee Member

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    You couldn't pay me to even read the second half of that ad.
     
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  9. monwobobbo

    monwobobbo Member

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    lets see i have to be in a battle of the bands to just get a spot oh and sell tickets as well. no dating strippers (not a problem if male) and i'l be prosecuted it i do. where the hell is it illegal to date strippers :bonk. ok then i have to be cleared by a legal team. now i'm gonna go out on a limb by the way the add is worded and assume that each band member get the $75. oh but wait i have to tip the sound guy and have myself and my gear schleped by bus from offsite parking. shared tips to. yup i'll get right on that deal. OP answer the add and find out what place this is i'm sure most here are dying to know.
     
  10. MrLahey

    MrLahey Member

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    Thats funny.
    Like what kind of delusional person thinks this stuff up?
    On the flip side. If this is the state of real live music today then those of us who have been around more than 15 minutes knows whats wrong with it
    Glad im not playing live anymore if this is remotely close to "normal" these days.
     
  11. I am the Liquor

    I am the Liquor Member

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    I stopped reading at male strippers and drug testing.
     
  12. modulusman

    modulusman Member

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    They lost me when they said Pyle PA.:(
     
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  13. ibis

    ibis Member

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    ROFL
    Good gag.
     
  14. RCM78

    RCM78 Member

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    That's definitely a joke.
     
  15. slybird

    slybird Member

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    CL ads should be no longer than three or four sentences to make the pitch. I wouldn't have read the first word.
     
  16. GuitarGuy66

    GuitarGuy66 Member

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  17. BigSB

    BigSB Member

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    It's a Pyle, alright. A big, steaming, stinking Pyle.

    I'm taking bets on how long they are open before the first drug or prostitution bust. I give it three months.

    I thought at first (then deleted) that I knew the place, but they specifically mention a startup.

    Either way, they're cooking up the classic recipe for crappy gigs and lousy bands.

    Combine that with the oh-so-likely eventuality of legal troubles and raids, and whatever losers take those gigs are in for bad times indeed.
     
  18. Hugh_s

    Hugh_s Member

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  19. soundchaser59

    soundchaser59 Silver Supporting Member

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    You don't even have to explain why.......there's no way in hell it's real....PERIOD.

    Somebody joined the forum 40 minutes ago just to post that piece of BS crap? Somebody (who ever you are) is pretty damn bored....

    The ONLY bet here is how long the mods will let this phony crap sit here before they delete it and ban the poster.

    I hope everyone who sees this thread will click "Report"
     
    ianrodia likes this.
  20. Blanket Jackson

    Blanket Jackson ¿Qué Hiciste? Silver Supporting Member

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    First post and its a doozy!
     
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