What was your last straw? (quitting band content)

Discussion in 'The Sound Hound Lounge' started by Sombras, Jul 17, 2019.

  1. Sombras

    Sombras Member

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    Just curious what other people's last straw moment was. My most recent was when another member admitted that he went out of his way to play head games with me, just to see what I would do. (This is a founding member, so me staying and him leaving was not an option.)

    What's your moment, and, maybe more importantly, what are you willing/not willing to put up with to be in a band and play the music?
     
  2. RupertB

    RupertB Supporting Member

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    Yeah, deliberate drama/head games = good reason to walk. Nobody needs that crap.

    I have only quit two bands, others having just faded away (& 1 firing :oops:).
    - I wasn't the right singer. They relied on me to sing hard rock lead vocal parts & I don't have that range. I decided we'd all be better off parting ways.
    - I was holding them back from being rock stars. I had a day job & they were sure we were on the cusp of "making it." Told them I'd stick around until they found someone to fill the spot.
     
  3. derekd

    derekd Supporting Member

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    Micromanaging/control issues of the guy who started the band and sang lead most of the time was my first real band break.

    Differences in musical direction/vision where there is no compromise or very little middle ground.

    I'm fairly easy going about most things but when the bad outweighs the good, time to make a change. This is especially true with something that is mostly a hobby and source of enjoyment/fun.
     
  4. aiq

    aiq Supporting Member

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    Very different as I was just looking for a jam type band like my DC trio. Five years now and no luck.

    So I guess apathy?
     
  5. dirk_benedict

    dirk_benedict Member

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    When the singer/bandleader decided that he would continue booking **** gigs wherever he wanted to, bitch at us all for not filling out calendars for black out dates and then repeatedly ask us if the blackout dates were “real” and whether or not he could book a gig, despite us all sitting down together and discussing our goals for gigging.
     
  6. Bluzeboy

    Bluzeboy Gold Supporting Member

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    No drama just had enough. Got better offer took it.
     
    Billy Van Beck likes this.
  7. Goldie Glocks

    Goldie Glocks Member

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  8. supergenius365

    supergenius365 Silver Supporting Member

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    Amazingly, I have never quit a band. My first was in 1985. I got kicked out by my “best friend” the night before our first real gig. (I did kinda suck so......). Any band since then has simply fallen apart mostly due to other member’s apathy. I’ve been extremely pissed at other band members, but never actually quit a band.
     
    ChampReverb likes this.
  9. GtrWiz

    GtrWiz Member

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    I can ignore a lot of BS, but if money gets even a slight bit squirrely I'm out.
     
  10. ToneDeVille

    ToneDeVille Member

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    Problematic musicianship and/or personality disorders lead the list for me.
     
  11. tiktok

    tiktok Supporting Member

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    The band lineup shifted over a course of years until I was the only guy who wasn't strung out on opioids.
     
  12. epauley

    epauley Member

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    I've only quit one band because of the self-appointed leader insisted he understood what audiences wanted, and demanded we conform. So, I started a new band with another member. We went on to become the most in-demand band for a 5-year period.
     
  13. S. F. Sorrow

    S. F. Sorrow Member

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    Heroin

    Sneaky mysterious behavior. Unfortunately one was once my best friend and OD a couple years after I quit. Hate that sh*t with a passion.
     
  14. Matt Dillon

    Matt Dillon Member

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    When I was younger it was when I would realize the band wasn’t going anywhere

    as an older person it was when it just wasn’t worth it
    anymore
     
  15. Papanate

    Papanate Gold Supporting Member

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    If the money, music or people are not good - pick two and I walk.
     
  16. jerrycampbell

    jerrycampbell Member

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    Hard drug dependency (not mine) mixed with an injury in another member made me turn away from one of the most exciting bands I worked with.
     
  17. IGuitUpIGuitDown

    IGuitUpIGuitDown Member

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    This. Completely.

    I almost quit playing music entirely after I quit the band I formed back in 2009.
    Regardless of the level of popularity your band rises to - how can you ever trust, let alone perform well again on stage surrounded with (and I'm being kind here) organisms who once betrayed you?
    They're all of a sudden your friends, again?

    You can't.
    And you should never have to.
    Especially when it becomes obvious the entire band is jealous of you.

    Move on.

    Ever have your former band member tell you about all of your faults over a three hour phone call? I did. But I had also decided to quit by that point.

    Ever have your band sign the contract to play an international music festival the next year and then instantly begin issuing ultimatums threatening to replace you? I did.

    Ever create all of the logos, gig posters, CD mechanical pdfs, and t-shirts, for free? I did.

    Oh, and I donated over 3K to studio recording expenses, CD manufacturing, and t-shirt printing, also. Was never repaid.

    I quit.
    They then auditioned over 30 lead guitarists to replace me so they could produce the second CD and have a performing lead guitarist for that festival. I'm positive that spooked at least 27 of the auditionees!

    Slowly, I've been getting back into the fun of composing and playing music.
    But this one really crushed my soul.
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2019
  18. cbell2112

    cbell2112 Member

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    The beginning of the end was when my singer insisted on letting her drunk friend get up and play keytar at a bar gig. After the 3rd song I asked him to get off the stage and both he and she took exception to that. It was never the same after that.
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2019
  19. briwinters

    briwinters Member

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    I teach guitar to a lot of adults who want to play in bands and have a hard time getting traction doing it. Just my opinion: lots of people would do better sucking it up a bit and hanging in there with music projects. The top priority when starting out should be getting experience....sometimes people could tough it out and overall they’re in a better place then if they quit.

    That being said there are limits. The last band I quit had a lot of the classic reasons to head for the door. Our singer became allergic to paying gigs (think he needed to sort that one out with a psychologist) so I was actually losing money playing with them. Singer decided he wanted full control over the set list. Singer and the drummer had a deal that one of them could take the night off from packing gear after a gig...the bass player and me unfortunately weren’t part of this deal. Singer didn’t like if I took outside gigs, even if we had nothing booked on our calendar. And STILL I hung in there with them.

    Only quit when ear ringing issues forced me to take a break from loud stuff for a while. And they were PISSED when I did. The rest of the stuff made it easier to walk at that point....
     
  20. big mike

    big mike Plexi Loving Admin Staff Member

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    I was the only one that practiced aside from the band 'night'.
    Wouldn't cancel a family event for an impromptu 'block party' for free.
    Was stuck singing most everything, AND getting my song choices and key's Poo-poo'd.

    (And it was a trio. :facepalm)
     

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